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Page 27 text:
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THE QUILL Z5 A few CONNERS are left over from the road projects. We can find you: PEACOCKS for the zoo. i SPEARS and TROOPS for the Ethiopians. FISH for the markets. NICHOLS for the guy who's broke. Another BELL for the school house. CCLE for your furnace. Ethiopia is having trouble with the WARREN her country. The C. C. C. needs WOODMAN. GOODSPEED enters the tracks meet for the girls. GALLANT goes on for fencing. How's Dick Merrill's HART? PUNY PUNS Need a BAKER? We've got one. How about a comedian? You ought to get a KIDDER. We could sell you a HATCH for your new boat. We've got colleges, too, LASELLE, for instance. Wanted - a MANN for the girls. We have a KILLAM from the under- world. In case another George Washington gets ambitious, we've taken over the DELA- WARE. Mrs. Houdlette, taking attendance: Har- vard Brown must be absent. Has anyone seen him? Russell Momng Cfrantically waving his handjs He is here, Mrs. Houdlette. He just reached into his desk drawer for a book and had to go in after it. - AND SO FGRTH - O. K. Toothaker, we'll see what we can do towards carrying out the work you started last year. Now, you old scandal- lovers, as I'm about to emit what news I've been privileged to gather from my assistants and from my trusty telescope aboard the good ship, Eavesdrop, I shall spring my can of gossip. Baker has returned from the boys' school which he was attending, presumably be- cause of the confinement prescribed there. But we notice he and his car are making up for lost time. Simply ask Ioan Norton If my word isn't sufficient - By the way, Verna Troop is still Lost in a Fog. - We, the class of '36 believe we possess that cer- tain thing which the classes of the last ten years have been unable to secure - Gardi- ner-l8, Cony-O-Lyman Warren is still unknowingly cracking jokes. The other day Mrs. Harlow diagrammed on the board and explained the constellation of Orion and its nearby planets. Warren asked what two certain stars in the left were. After minutes of fruitless search by the teacher, our common-sense marvel - Dallas Edwards - made it known to the class that Mr. Warren's two stars were dots on the Z i's in Sirius! Recently Dave Hodgkins in one of his spells of gay hilarity returned home from school at 8:30 A.M. He was asked why there was such a short session today. Well, he said, no session at all. Couldn't find the teacher. She must be sick. What seemed to be the complaint? he was asked. No complaint at all. Everybody's satis- fied. Let's go huntin' Baker! - Probably many noticed, as did our prowling reporter, that the girls all spent their nights at home for a week last winter. According to refer' ence data, we find that the same week was
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Page 26 text:
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24 THE QUILL Miss Newman: How can we dispense, to a great extent, with biting insects? Percy Baker: Don't bite 'eml Mrs. Smith Cin Englishj: Does anyone know who Walt Whitman is? Lyman Warren: Don't they call him King of Jazz ? Dallas Edwards: What good does it do to cheat, anyway? Bill Brann: Why, you get 100. Edwards: Yeah? I remember once of get- ting 79. Mr. Woodman: Do you realize you're down in your English? Bob Hathaway: I know, but I still have Hope. Mrs. Smith: What would you do if a stranger and a young man you knew rang the doorbell some day? lean Clark: I'd answer it. Mrs. Smith: Well, according to good man- ners, what should you say? Jean: I-li, kid, who's this? . Mr. Woodman: Are you the oldest one in your family? Verna Troop: No, my mother and father are both older. Mr. Danforth: Don't taste that. Can't you see it says poison on it? Donald Goodwin: Sure, but right under that it says lye. Walter Ricker: What subject do you like best? Norman Spear: Latin, I guess. Ricker: But, you don't take that. Spear: That's the way I like it. Teacher: What is your name? Pupil: Ida Kline. Teacher: Oh, you do! Well, you can stay after school until you tell me. Dick Fuller Cbouncing into the room, very excitedjr Miss Plaisted, a man is stealing your car. Miss Plaisted: Is he good-looking? ,lohn Long Creciting in Englishj: You is - Mrs. Smith: You are. Long: You are the only pronoun in the sentence. Mrs. Harlow: Miss Norton, what do you think of the Baker industry? loan Cdreamilyj: Swell! Visitor: What are those statues over there? Those aren't statues, said his friend. They are E.R.A. men working on a gov- ernment job. Ken Doclcendorff: How much is a bottle of hexylresorcinol. James Holland: Twenty-five cents, done up in blue paper with an elastic around it. Ken: O. K. give me a bottle and charge it. Jim: You can have it. I'm not spelling Dockendorff and hexylresorcinol for a quarter!
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Page 28 text:
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26 THE QUILL one which Dallas Edwards, jack Baker, and Co, spent in Boston - And speaking of Romance, we see that jean Clark and George Johnson are that way about each other - We have also noticed there is someone who can get a monopoly on Alice Sprague by the looks of things. Congratu- lations! Although monopolies are illegal, we feel that all's fair in ..... It has been re- ported by Hubbard's Store that Morgan Bell is shortening their supply in keeping Kay Dailey supplied with gum ..... Speak- ing of Scandal: If the Christmas vacation hadn't brought Bob Moore home from Ohio, I'm afraid we would be looking for a new business manager for the QUILI. ..... Bell evidently disagrees with Miss Newman on the subject of the basketball girls riding in the bus. He tried vainly to persuade her to 'let Kay ride home from the Hallowell basketball game in Neal Cunningham's car. .. . . .Getting slightly off the subject, the other day a few kids built a snowman up on Brunswick Avenue and put a snow shovel in his hand. The next day the WPA fore- man passed by and handed him a check. . . . . . We understand that Charlie Hinds was down having his countenance cleared of excess growth the other day. After numerous incisions by the barber's instru- ment, Mr. Hinds asked for a drink to see if his throat leaked ......
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