Galt Collegiate Institute and Vocational School - Specula Galtonia Yearbook (Galt, Ontario Canada)

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SPECULA How oft has a humble student When morn is drawing nigh Condemned the many languages To death, without a sigh. How useless then seems Spanish, How good for naught is French, The man who first spoke Latin Had anything but sense. To English then we turn our thoughts And here again we seek To understand the many words We, in a story, meet. Now if you think you're educated Don't laugh-you're out of turn, But sit right down and just for me The meanings please discern. Are dough-boys really made of dough? And have they lots of money? Are gold fish made of pure, pure gold? To me these do seem funny. Do orange peels sound like a bell? And apple-carts a fact? Are dough-nuts now a holesome food? These things will drive me cracked. A pigeon stool, is it a chair? Is Davenport a harbour? And could we say a cutter-head, Is just another barber? And are tea-cups made in China? Say, are ily-tox long or short ? Can chili sauce bring on a cold? It's enough to make one snort. Now are smelters just like odours? Does a book-worm really crawl? And can those awful flying rings Go gliding 'round the hall? Have spring boards any little streams To make them grow still bigger? And is a trapeze just a trap For any strayward sinner? Now a gridiron I suppose is a certain kind of metal, And a baseball diamond gives off CO2 But how in heck am I to know, When a friend exclaims by Joey That a boxing ring is square--is it true? And these are but a scant, scant few Of words that give me trouble. They only prove an old, old law The meaning may be double. D. M. GALTONIA 77 MR. MCLENNAN- You had better watch your step in my classroom. RAMSAY- What's the matter? Floor- ing loose, sir? Can you tell me one of the uses of cowhide? Yessir, it keeps the cow together. :Ia :le :lr He- Are you fond of moving pictures, Jennie. She fhopefullyl- Aye Sandy. Then maybe lass you'll help me get half a dozen doon out o' the attic. 3: iz 2: One thing this paper can say there is not one negro called either Rastus or Sam- bo and that the travelling salesman has been completely ignored from its joke col- umns. LORRIMAN, after his trip to Africa- And the cabbages are so big they ship one to a fiat car. STAHLSCHMIDT- How's that? LORRIMAN- Climate STAHLSMIDT- Yah! LORRIMAN- And the bananas are like telephone poles. STAHLSCHMIDT- How's that. LORRIMAN- Climate.l' STAHLSCHMIDT- Yah, We got a ho- tel here now with fifty-two stories in it and not a stair or an elevator within sight of it. LORRIMAN- How's that, how can you get up to the top ? STAHLSCHMIDT- Oh, Climate. .g. .w. .y. .,. .,. .,. LORRIMAN Csingingj - Do-deda-ump- bump. CAROTHERS- That reminds me. I meant to buy some gum to-day. Do you think you can support 1ny daughter on S150 a month. Oh thank you sir, that will help out alot. Battleship officer drilling his men- I want every man to lie on his back, put his legs in the air and move them as if he were riding a bicycle. Now begin. After a short effort one of his men stopped. Why have you stopped there, guv? he yelled. Guy- If you please, sir, I am coasting. MR. CHALLEN, disgustedly testing the knowledge of the class upon the shapes of ge'metr'cal figures. slapped half a buck on the desk and veiled what's that? MIDGLEY- Heads

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76 SPECULA GALTONIA Question and Answer Corner 1. What is a proper method of snoring in history periods.-W.A. 2. - J 99 QVW4- Vim -l - 57M Ans.-Say, what the sam L do you think we are? Do your own homework. 2221182 3. Why don't we walk across the campus in the spring time fa part timerj.. Ans.-Because Mr. Wholton don't like it u -V. -1- -L POETRY Little Jack Horner Sat in his corner Eating his Christmas pie He put in his thumb And pulled out a lawn mower And said For crying out loud Who put that in there? :Sc :1: :le ON FIRST SKIPPING A PERIOD He sat in fear and trembling, His countenance was pale, Just then he was resembling A fugitive from jail. But no! he was no jail-bird. A skipper plain was he, Not one who uses a piece of rope, Nor sails in ship at sea. His iirst period was he skipping, His conscience was a wreck, His feet were all a wiggling Imploring him to trek. His hands were very shaky And his eyes were bulging out, His breath was short and quaky, He was speckled like a trout. And there, my gentle readers Is a picture of one of those Who are bad and skip their periods, And then are full of woes. D. J. 2lf2if2!4 MR. BOYD fmarking the latesl- Now let's see your pink slip. MISS CELLANEOUS- Sir. Ans.-By all means don't snore, but if you are prone to do so, do it up your sleeve. Better to get a wet elbow than be kicked. H X19-A-I-V IT CA + XJH DE MR. CHALLEN- If x : the quantity of shellac and y : the amount of water, what does X -1- y equal? TOUTE LA CLASSE- The schoo1's cafeteria soup. 3: :k :Zz It don't take much pull these days remarked the girl as she adjusted her skirt. With these new fashions of to-day man's eyes are on their last legs. Oh! Oh! Is your Wife a blonde? I don'.t know, I've been out of town for two weeks. .,. ., .,. TRAFFIC CUP- Come on, what's the matter with you? TRUCK DRIVER- Pm well thanks, but my engine's dead. 2112143 Wally Wickens remarks that his musi- cal education saved his life during this year's flood. How's that asked his interested com- panionf' Wally- Well when the water struck our house my father got on a bed and Hoated down the stream. And you? 'Wally- I accompanied him on the piano. Plfrlsis She- My how fast your heart is beat- ing. It sounds like a drum. He- Yeh, that's the call to arms. 252123 He- Come on, give me a kiss. She- Naw. I've got scruplesf' I-IeT That's all right. I've had 'em twice. QS: wk rk She was only a weaver's daughter but oh, boy, how she loomed.

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