Galt Collegiate Institute and Vocational School - Specula Galtonia Yearbook (Galt, Ontario Canada)

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SPECULA GALTONIA 73 immediately do. Dawson starts to laugh while Willy, our hero, yells Don't be a hypocrite. Dawson can be heard swallow- ing his pride in two big gulps. In the ensuing silence Walter begins to mouth open clear to his snore with his shoulder blades. J. N. Ramsay being in- quisitive cranks up his two-bit lighter and after 18 unsucessful shots finally gets a light by which he is able to discover the offender. But lo! there is Willy F.O.B. swiping Walter's dice, while he emits his bath-tub death throttle. Willy, quite un- abashed, pockets the dice mumbling that he will administer a week's detention upon the nex.t offence. Silence and darkness again reign su- preme except for Walter's gurglings. WILLY RICHMOND- Anybody any difficulties to-night? AGNES MCGILL- Where in the name of corrugated cuspidors did my pop put that switch of hair? MCINTOSH-Will this Spec ever get into circulation? MARGARET MCCALLUM-- Make Daw- son quit. JIMMY SCOTT- Who swiped my Trig.? STAHLSCHMIDT- Whe1-e's Midgley, he owes me two bucks? BETTY WOOLNER- Shall I ever be able to stand up and look over a church pew without cracking my neck? fir! MISCELLANEOUS Say, guy, this match won't light! Whatsmatter ? I dunno, it lighted all right a minute , D ago' av Why does a stork stand on one leg? I dunno. Try lifting both your own up and see what happens. His mother told him never to touch cigarettes again. Richmond uses a holder now. 214 all 111 What has an elephant got that a man hasn't? I'll bite. Baby elephants. :!: :Ez Who goes there? Nobody. 'Sfunny, I thought I heard something. J. N. RAMSAY- How can I become popular with the wimmen? LORNA McDONALD- Why did I ever come back to school? TEDDY HUDSON- Have you got a big cork around to fit Walter's mouth? It's doggone drafty here. WILLY then summons the responding spirit in the following manner- Right wing shift, insides back, 19, 24, 36, A, B, X, P, D, Q, hike, 42, 63, 91. Slowly but surely the door of the grandpop's clock swings open and there in the darkness can be seen the outline of Dink clothed in pyjamas and New Year's greetings. But as he slowly rounded Walter's end of the table to take up his position in a nearby milk bottle he trips over so1nebody's feet Cprobably Stahlschmidt'sJ. In the com- motion Fat wakes up and missing his dice and seeing Dink all at once he yells Is this a dagger that I see before me ? But the cautious Willy hearing footsteps on the stairway yells Cheesithebeak. One hour and two days have elapsed. We have a court scene conducted by Judge Roelofson. JUDGE- Richmond you stand in the witness box and say beep-lap for fifteen minutesf' RICHMOND- Aw heck I don't wanna. You know I don't like it. CContinued on page 643 Let's start up in the stove pipe busi- ness, huh ? Shel Sho! You supply the jack and I'll make the pipes. Yah, but you don't know how to make 'cmf' Sho, Why take a hole and wrap some tin around it. if fl: Ik Are you going to the T. N. Tea this afternoon ? No, but Dina might. Clipperton, talking of his native town, Streetsville, says that the buildings are so high there that they have to lie down on their stomachs to let the moon go past every time they go up on the roofs at night.

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72 SPECIULA GALTONIA S S 'wi tty mi leisure, days of extreme brightness and days of impenetrable gloom, but always are there days of joy and gladness, when the morose and sinister give way to happy smiles and rollicking laughter. .... I' For Sir Archer and his followers are days of struggle and daws of An lllustrated Story by a Man who Uwns Une A Story for children between the ages of Thursday afternoon and the First of July. fNote:-No, this isn't a picture of niggers shovelling coal at midnightnl HE above photograph depicts William f Willy J Richmond F.O.B. conduct- ing one of his major seances. The photographer has shown great originality in the securing of such a forbidden photo- graph for the editors of this paper. Not only did he risk his life but roguishly se- creted himself and his grandfather's fav- ourite camera behind the bowl of gold fish in the background of the picture and clev- erly pulled the chain at the most thrilling moment, yea, the critical moment. In the centre foreground the gentleman connected with the broad expanse of back is no other than the great Walter Ander- son. At the other end of the round table we have this master of ceremonies Willy whose features may be seen protruding from under Walter's left ear. Behind Walter's right arm we have, Jimmy Scott, Lorna McDonald, Ted Hudson and Betty Woolner while behind his little finger on the dexter side again we find J. N. Ram- say, fooling with his two-bit cigarette lighter. Now if you will kindly hold the book sideways you can see around his' Walter's, left arm, finding little Jack Dawson, Mar- garet McCallum, Agnes McGill and I think MacIntosh, from the noise I see in the background. The coloured sox denote Stahlschmidt. Willy commences the shin-dig by re- questing the lights to go out which they

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74 SPECULA GALTONIA 's Yu, swf. 5... Cc? X x-4. l hx kk-x g bm Whse Ql,kPM'N0.le. Qorvne Ddong- Christopher Columbus HRISTOPHER C Chris J Columbus was born at home in 1492, with the spirit of adventure in his heart, which was the guiding hand in his life, when he Went to Italy and asked the queen, no, the landlord, for some jack and men, but was refused, so he went to France Where he asked the king to slip him some dough so that he could discover America, but he was turned down and told to go to queen Liz and ask her, but she gave 'him a cold shoulder and told him to beat it, which he did, going to Spain and asking the chief for some stock on margin, which proved to bring him in a Whole pile, with which he bought ships and fishing tackle and prisoners and one fine sunny morning as the sun rose benignly be- fore him, he set sail for the wide open spaces, hoping to find the back door to the Chinese laun- dry in Tokio, but as the time wore on his men got so bally sick of bobbing o'er the briny deep that they tried to throw him overboard, which they did, when a whale came along and swallow- ed him, no that ain't right either, until they came to a bunch of logs fioatin! around and birds sing- ing in the trees, so Chris knew he was there, so when they got past the logs and came to a shimmering bank of sand with nude niggers run- nin' about he got into a canoe and paddled, no, a, 04, A A cpm-.K Q, ,mn Y A 1' 9 '94 .492- ffs JA -N! if 14-D !', f ,J l I 1 f l I .lx rowed ashore and shook hands with everybody, wishing them a Merry Christmas and Saying lots of Y1iCe things when they gave him gold and diamonds for red necklaces so just before he sailed away with the bacon, he planted a flag in the mud and called the place Preston in fond memories of his boyhood years.