Galt Collegiate Institute and Vocational School - Specula Galtonia Yearbook (Galt, Ontario Canada)

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44 SPECULA GALTONIA ,q ! HSPECU TIONSH V01 ' ' ' ' ' 6 ' P6X1D3YI!'6N1V6N1VB1' ' ' ' I ' ' I W 5a PHILOSOPHY lElizabet'h M. Beattie speaketh ith Mr. Challen has won an unquestioned place among the martyrs. His daily greets ing to this form is an impotent Get to your proper places, class! Pk Ulf PF OO! LA! LA! MISS CARTER- What kind of a square did the Republicans form? ANDERSON fwith a Hash of geniusj- A triangle. R is is THE UNHOLY THREE Dipping into the future, I saw: Fat Anderson, balloon boy at the circusg Don. Airdale, a dog fancierg Albert Brown, lec- turing on Domestic Science after research work in Limburger pies. IF 14 as SALUBRIOUS SAYINGS MISS DUGGAN- Snap into it, class! MR. DONALDSON- What you need is a rattle. MR. MacLENNAN- You don't know as much as you did last year. MISS CORRAN- By reason 'of the fact that . . . gk sk as HEAVY GOING Our form held a skating party in the Galt Arena, the evening of January 19ith. The party was well chaperoned by ive teachers, and the ice was very good in spots. But, in spite of all these defects, we managed to enjoy ourselves greatly. After the skating we adjourned to the Grange for lunch. if ik at 5b EFFUSIONS fit Edgar Hudson: His Markj Fifth form girls fielded a combined softball .team last fall which was defeated in the semi-iinals after a three-game ser- ies by the Commercial Special girls. Bet- ter success attended the 5b girls' basket- ball team. Yes, we boast great football men, the SPECULA editor, and kindred curiosities. But our basketball team! The boys never had the same team on the floor twice, yet we stand at the top of the list-if you turn it upside down. We are optimists and out to win .the championship next year. Pk FK Dk SPONDULIC DIDACTICS Of 5b boys the poet sings, So this rhyme'll tell you many things. JIM WARING warbles long and loud, Of our deep-voiced singer we're very proud. Our other Jimmie's beauteous spats Make us all think him quite the cat's. A brilliant lad is MCINTOSH But to him Trig seems naught but bosh. ASHFORD, a boy with lots of pep, Maketh the SPECULA editors step. TED represents our form-5b- In breezy form news, as you see. GEORGE is the boy with the curly hair, For him the girls all have a flair. BENSON let his mustachios grow. Why did he not leave them so? REG is our strong and silent man, With bear's grease keeps his hair spick and span. EDITOR'S NOTE: We would say the above line is slightly hypermetric. CECIL's rich melodious voice Makes our hearts the more rejoice. DAVE is a cracker at doing Trig, For sine A plus B cares not a fig. Our HUME is surely double-jointed, Poems and speeches very pointed. LLOYD plans, according to scandal RIFE, To study Chemistry all his life. Were it not for DONALD's smiling face We all would feel quite out of place. I dinna ken what to say of oor J OCK, He's lost his Scotch accent but still likes to talk. A-t doing Virgil by the pound HOWARD's the best that can be found. Now of our damsels would I chant- EDITOR: Say, really, this has gone far enough.

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SPECULA GALTONIA 43 CAES.-Un crocheted red armourj Do have some of this raspberry vinegar, it's nothing but dilute water. BRUTUS- Set honor in one hand and raspberry vinegar in rthe other, and I will look on both differently. BASS.- What says this old fool, ha ? fEnter a soothsayerl SOOTH.- Stand ho. BRUTUS- Whadayuwant ? SOOTH.- Beware St. Patrick's day. Chariot passes on. All are singing Sweet Adeline. SCENE IIIIII. fNearer Hespelerj Enter chariot, all singing. Enter Albert Brown, from opposite side. CAES.- Stay, Illusion. If thou hast any sound or voice, speak to me, what is your name ? BASS.- How big are your feet? BRUTUS Iifrom bottom of chariotj- Canst warble, varlet? BROWNIE-J'My name is Brown, sirs. I have very big feet, sirs. I am a second Caruso, sirs. BRUTUS- Proceed, proceed. BROWN IE- Friends, Romans, country- men, Send me your ears. Stop me if you've heard this one. lSings1 And my name is Pat McGee . . . BASS.- Oh! piteous spectacle! CAES.- O ye gods, ye gods, must I endure all this ? BASS.- Be gone, thou saucy fellow, run sto Rosalind's home, and tell her a poor, handsome suitor is coming. CAES.- Shall Caesar send a lie? Tell them knave, that we'll be there, Toot sweet with bocoo shecklesf' lExit Brownj ACT IVXMC ?, SCENE I In Rosalind's home. Rosalind, her fa- ther, and Hamlet, seated. Enter Puck l:Fairy:I. Pours Carbolic Acid on Hamlet's eyes. I'UCKj Now, Bassanio will be the fairest suitor in her eyes. IExit Puckj Enter Brutus, Caesar, Bassanio. H CAES.-fHanging his toga up on floorj Hpudy, Rosy! Houdy Hamy! I say, Hamy, weve brought a shiek along. His name 1S Bassanio. . HAM.- Does he want to marry Rosa- I1Ild?7, BASS.- Yath Thir. ROSALIND's FATHER Un a rag-ej- Well, I won't have that sl . . Hn this trying situation Bassanio is nonchalant. He lights a candle. HAM.- Sure, he can have her. BRUTUS- Let's go into the other room and leave these two here. lExit all but Bassanio and Rosalindj. BASS.- At last! We are alone! ROS.- Bassy, I love thee. bigifqlfasiiyigne hour 1atef! 'IS 00 my itsi ROS.- Does oo love oor ittle sweety sugar? I:And so, far, far into the nightj FINIS MORAL:-Never take anything for granted. -W.F.S. ae wk wk EGGSACTLY! If an Scand an I and an O and a U, With an X at the end, spell Sup And an E and an Y and an E spell I, Pray, what is a speller to do? Then if also an S and an I and a G And an H. E. D, spell cide- There's nofthing much left for a speller to do But go and commit Siouxeyesighed! A65 WHAT THEY SAY MISS WEATHERILL- Straight line there, girls! MISS PEDLOW- I just got started marking your papers when I was inter- rupted. MISS POOKE- Is that clear? MISS MUSGROVE- Surely you know better than that ? MRS. ROBINSON-- Please close 'the door, Hazel. MISS DUGGAN- Open order, centres passing, outward march! MR. DOIG- We still buy our groceries at the Red and White Stores. They de- liver!

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SPECULA GALTONIA 45 4b RECORDINGS With Miss Weatherill's consent, we are enabled to present here a verbatim steno- graphic report made by a Commercial Special student of what would appear to have been a class in Latin Authors. Plfblffk Mr. MacLennan, after long stare out the back windows, enquires portentously: What is the theme of the Aeneid, Rich- mond? The story of a guy whose mother's father's wife had it in for him, and he sailed away and everybody got drowned except himself and all his crew and slaves. . Well, what did he do after he was drowned? Sailed to a burg in Africa and fell in love and then shook her oil' and beat it. How did he come :to this place, Miss Roung? In a fleet and a wet blanket. Eh? What kind of a blanket? Of mist, marvellous to relate. Well, what dee see from the top of the hill, Miss Tait? . . . Oh, yes, Miss Wright, what's the Latin word for 'hill'? Call us, call us masculine. Fine. Well, what dee see, Miss-Tait? Some bees and Dido taking her seat on high. . All right, so much for the theme. Now, the translation . . . Oh, by the way, re- member to forget all about Aeneas. He's not a bit important at all. What I wan.t you to get is this. QA long pause.J The Aeneid is the story of the fall and rise of the Romans themselves. Here's what Pro- fessor de Witless says: 'The story of Aeneas himself should be taken extremely frivolously and more attention paid to the story of the elevation and downward dis- placement of the Romans themselvesf Now, on page 57 . . . fourth line from top, nineteenth line from bottom, third word from left and second from the right, what is that word in, Miss Sheldon? In Virgil. Yes, any fool in 4b might know that. What else is it in, Gregor? In line 631. Yes. I guess you guessed that, eh? Well, what's the Latin for Aeneas, Miss Anderson ? Vacant stare at his left ear from Miss Anderson. 'UI think it's more than lack of industry that ails this class, he offers with heavy sarcasm. Well, let's look on page 58. tHe looks, ,they look.J Miss Thompson, how did Aeneas stand when he first saw his lady love? Uh-on 'his feet and 'rooted in a gaze'.H Oh, come Miss Thompson! I'm sur- prised when you take Greek, too. To make such a rotten-er-bad translation as that. To whom is Virgil indebted for' this passage, Carothers? Carothers fthinking of Literature per- iod- Bernard Shaw. UNO! NO! NO! Strides to window and fiddles furiously with blind string. Oh, yes, that reminds me. Who WAS Aeneas, Miss Macdonald? The guy whose grandma had it in for him and- Yes. Who was his grandma, Miss McQueen? Carthage Scott . . . Who wrote Virgil? Scott fbrightlyjz Horace Homer? A buzzer buzzes in south-east corner of Wall. Zat the bell? . . . All right, dismiss . . . Prepare another coupla lines for next day. He casts another long stare at the side windows this time. P.S.- Supply all the commas and ques- tion marks I've omitted, Gwennief' -H.L.A. nw 1: as 4a GAZETTE EDITOR'S NOTE: Publication of this paper has been suppressed by order of the Censor who acted upon a complaint lodged by the president of the Hi-Y Club. The editor, Marion Stuart, said in an exclusive interview granted the SPECULA: He's a nasty, mean thing and I'll never offer him a second helping of scalloped potatoes again! Pk Pk Pk FORM 3 Our form had planned a Weiner roast for October 1 last but the weather man failed us. Miss Molly Sheldon invited us to her home and we all gathered there instead. The weiners proved just as ac- ceptable when eaten indoors as in their proper environment-out of doors-and the evening passed very pleasantly with games and other diversions. Mr. McKee entertained us with some of his delightful stories.