Galesburg High School - Reflector Yearbook (Galesburg, IL)

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A ONE ACT FARCE M W By V. E. Olson and P. E. Clausen Lucile Robbins: And the title is so appropriate, too. Hubert: Ccuriouslyb By the way, have any of you read Hamlet ? Lady W: Oh, yes. That and ulvanhoen are my favorite poems. Mrs. V. S: Oh, l beg your pardon, but Hamlet is one of O'Neil,s farces. Lucile: Oh, no. l'm sure it's one of Shakespeare's earliest comedies. Lady W: Oh, yes. l was thinking of the Pied Piper of Hamlet . Mr. V. S: l hear they are trying to revive Shakespeare. Lord W: What's the matter? Did he faint? Lucile: Oh, l have an idea. My father is a publisher. Let him print your play. Hub: But,-but l wrote it for pleasure only. l couldn't think of publishing it. Why, the characters in that play are just like brothers and sisters to me. Mr. V. S: But think of the money you'd make. Why, he ought to give you thirty per cent of the profits. Just think. lf he made a million on your play you'd get-you'd--you'd get a lot of money. Lord W: Yes, almost a half million. Hub: CcasuallyD All right, tell him to print it. Lady W: Oh, you are so kind to give your masterpiece to a devouring mob. l shall get the girls at the club to give you a medal. Hub: What club? Lady W: The Humane Society. Oh, it's late. We must be leaving. CThey leave. Higgins steps out from behind a curtainj Hig: Now, you've gone and done it, sir. Hub: What now? l just made a million, didn't lf? Hig: Yes, but you've forgotten Shakespeare, sir. SCENE lil The scene is the same. It is three months later. Hubert and Higgins are opening great piles of letters from a bevy of admirers. Hub: It looks as if Shakespeare hasn't read the play yet. Hig: Oh, the janitor told me that he died, sir. Hub: That's good. Remind me to send flowers. Hig: We have had 3064 letters and not one has mentioned that the play is not original. Hub: Here's a letter from the mayor of Chicago. He says he has read my play and enjoyed it very much, with the exception of the line,- There is something rotten in Chicago. My play will not be sold in that city until that sentence is removed. He signs himself, Hlndignantly, Peter J. Skellyn Hig: l'll change it to something nice in Chicago. Hub: Here's a letter from the President of the New York Shakespearean Society. He says, I have read your wonderful play and l am surprised at the resemblance of your work to that of Shakespeare. l believe that your 'Twilight and Violets' will go down in the history of drama with Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' and Walt Disney's 'Three Little Pigsf l hope that more of this type of drama will be forthcoming. Hub: Higgins, get me a copy of Romeo and Juliet .

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The Second Shokespeore The setting is in a fashionable hotel room. The time is the present. Hubert, a young man clad in tweeds and a derby, and carrying a cane, enters and calls for his valet, Higgins. Higgins: Centeringb Yes, sir. Hubert: Here. CHe deposits the derby precariously on valet's head, and hands him the cane.D Hub: You know l've got myself into a deuce of a jam. Hig: If you pardon me, sir, that's nothing unusual, sir. Hub: lt's this way. l told those Hhightonesn at the hotel that l was a playwright to ah- Hig: To create an impression, sir. Hub: Exactly. Hig: And l presume they all had read your plays, sir. Hub: Cguite so. Lady Wigglebug said that next to Longfellow l was her favorite play- wrig t. Hig: And then l suppose you invited them to come here to listen to your latest play, sir. Hub: Precisely. Higgins, your powers of mind reading are amazing. How do you always know what l do? Hig: That comes from long association with you, sir. Hub: lt wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for that Robbins girl. l can't stand to be disgraced before Lucile. Cpausel Well, what are you waiting for? Hig: Waiting for, sir? Hub: Yes, what are you going to do about it? Cpauseb Well? Hig: l have itl Hub: Crelievedlyl l knew we'd have it. Hig: l suggest, sir, that you take some play that in all probability they have not read. Hub: A literary masterpiece. Hig: CWalks to a bookcase and looks through booksj You could change the title and they would never recognize it, sir. Hub: Quite so. Hig: Ah, here is a play that is suitable. lt's called Hamlet by Shakespeare. 1 Hub: CDoubtfullyD Hamlet? l don't want any small-town stuff. Hig: Oh, no, sir. lt's about kings and queens. The main character is called Hamlet. Hub: Change his name to Omelet. Now, for a good title. How's Twilight and Violets? Hig: Excellent, sir. Hub: Cmodestlyl Yes, it is pretty good. Where did it happen? Hig: What, sir? Hub: The play. Hig: ln Denmark, sir. Hub: Substitute Chicago, and change the names of the other characters too. By the way, will this guy Shakespeare object? Hig: Oh, he won't find out, sir. SCENE II The scene occurs the same evening. Hubert has just finished reading the play to a group of the newly rich. Lady Wigglebug remarks, Perfect , Lord Wigglebug, Excellent , Mrs. Van Spinx, Too, too divine and Mr. Van Spinx Extraordinary .

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CT ' i 11: I' A S96 I N A WEE BIT SCOTCH 'TIS A MIGHTY BRAW WIN' BUT I GUESS I CON MAKE IT I D S ' RATHER A MY DIME THA HA THE STREET CAR TA CHARLES N IT TCD CI-IEER Tl-IE HEART When hope is gone and blaclc despair has come And desperation rules supreme in man, When l:ate's cruel hand disturbs his every plan And he allows no joy into his home, I What now isthat which cheers him on his way And lightens his sad lace and sadder heart? If he be man who lollows nature's part Ol bringing hope, he to himself might say: fDespair resembles deepest Winter's gloom Which grips us in its melancholy chill, A The height ol winter's frigid reign ol white:-, Yet he recalls: :The bud becomes a bloom, Night changes into noon. And so the will Ol God doth malce all winter spring's delight., - Glen Lashbroolc Tl-IE SEASCDNS Rolling clouds, Slcies ol blue, Falling leaves, Fading beauty, Balmy breeze, Spring's debut. Shade ol trees, Blooming hay, White toadstool, Summer's array. Dying Flowers, Autumnls duty. Trees ol crystal, Lalces ol steel, Sparlcling meadows, Winterls seal. - Vernon Olson