Furman University - Bonhomie Yearbook (Greenville, SC)

Page 25 text:

Friday night - what's there to do?.. .without looking, I know there's nothing happening in Greenville.. .something happened two years ago and they're not due for another three... Let's see the television schedule: The Best of Hee Haw on CBS: Lawrence Welk salutes Lawrence Welk on ABC: Mid-Atlantic Wrestling reruns on NBC: an all night praise-a-thon on channel 16.. .great.. .if only I hadn't cut up that eventfilled Social Board calendar for coasters.. .1 guess III have to call the student center and see what’s going on.. .hello? could you tell me what activities are being provided for students tonight?.. .oh no.. .no, please, no, thank you, no. really.. .1 think we've already talked... oh. thank you, let me get a pencil.. .Conway Twitty in concert on video-tape.. .Praise-a-thon on projectavision.. .The Devil and Miss Jones as a Social Board movie.. .here? on campus?.. .really?.. .let me guess - audio visual set up hidden cameras in the passion pits? .. .oh, I see.. .the censored version.. .eight minutes and forty-three seconds.. .thanks anyway.. .goodbye.. .hello, Mom?.. .what are you and Dad doing tonight.. .oh.. .oh.. .1 see, I'm sorry - goodbye... Furman Life 23

Page 24 text:

These walls are so condusive to studying - green cinder blocks.. .they must use lime favored jello mix as a paint base.. .no wonder the girls at this school have a better grade point average - their rooms are so much nicer.. .I've seen them once.. .but at least I'm alone with absolutely nothing to interfere with my studying.. .except the phone -hello?.. .no.. .no.. .no, thank you.. .really. I'm just not interested.. .no. I really don't have the patience to work with children.. .look, I'm really not interested.. .listen, maybe you're not familiar with me. but I'm the student out on parole for child molesting... you've got to be kidding.. .a coordinator?.. .no.. .nursing home?.. .no, I'm sorry, I believe in mandatory euthanasia.. .What? I'm perfect for what? - goodbye!.. .thank God I finally got rid of her.. .not again - hello?.. .yes.. .yes.. .yes, I'm sure.. .I'm absolutely sure... I care for you too.. .yes.. .yes.. .1 love Him too.. .yes.. .yes.. .you want the date?... well alright - on February 8, 1963,1 was saved from a burning car.. .what?.. .submerged?... yes.. .yes.. .they put it out with water - goodbye! 22 I Furman Life

Page 26 text:

I'm depressed - life just isn't worth living anymore ... my academic record is a failure... I failed psychology... I failed English... I failed chemistry... I didn ’t make an A in political science.. .my social life is empty - even the live via satellite from Berea Praise-a-thon was cancelled because storm winds blew away the revival tent.. .my only decision left in life is how to end it.. .let's see... I've already missed dinner... there aren't any spaces left in a Brewer class... I know-I could drive in downtown Greenville rush hour traffic.. .no. that would mean waiting until Monday... there's only one alternative left.. .the bell tower... 248,249,250,251, no wonder no one has ever jumped from here before ... they dropped from exhaustion before getting to the top... I'm here, finally, at last.. .on the ledge.. .I'm leaning... I'm leaning farther... who, me?... who is that down there?... no... no, thank you... yes, I'm sure... no, I really don’t have the time to work with the emotionally disturbed -goodbye... what?... who's that now?.. .oh, Miss Chiles .. .nomam.no.. .I'msorry... I really don't feel like filling out an exit lorm.. .yes mam, I'm sure.. .thankyoutoo.. .if I wait any longer there won't be enough room left to jump... goodbye world.. .I'm in the air... this is it.. .oh my God! .. .I’m at the bottom of the bell tower... either I've failed even at suicide... or... I've died and been sent to... 24 Furman Life