Furman University - Bonhomie Yearbook (Greenville, SC)

Page 23 text:

The James Buchanan Duke Library -isn't it ironic that this library was endowed by the nation's wealthiest tobacco family and there isn t even a smokers lounge?... typically Furman - a Baptist school without a chapel.. .of course the supreme irony is the function of this library. campus social center.. I wonder if it 's true that you can reserve dates at the front desk? -I've always wondered what goes on in those upstair cages... I've only been here fifteen minutes and I've already been asked to play tennis four times, basketball three times, and propositioned once - somebody should report that librarian to the psychology department... little wonder she's always at the service desk -she must be the one on overnight reserve... what the hell. I'll give in-not to the librarian, to studying - back to the dorms to relax and catch up on my reading ... I'm three months behind on Playboy ... Furman Life 21

Page 22 text:

Why does it always seem to rain just as I start to go to lunch? ... it's my own fault, the Greenville Weather Service said it would be sunny all day - that should have been my first clue ... I've got to keep my hands dry - if I don't I know I'll electricute myself on that stupid machine ... that would be too ironic - to have survived these meals for so long only to die at the hands of their computerized contraption ... excuse me. I see you've just gotten your tray, which line would you suggest? ... you're going to the trash cans? -I guess that's answer enough ... 20 Furman Life

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These walls are so condusive to studying - green cinder blocks.. .they must use lime favored jello mix as a paint base.. .no wonder the girls at this school have a better grade point average - their rooms are so much nicer.. .I've seen them once.. .but at least I'm alone with absolutely nothing to interfere with my studying.. .except the phone -hello?.. .no.. .no.. .no, thank you.. .really. I'm just not interested.. .no. I really don't have the patience to work with children.. .look, I'm really not interested.. .listen, maybe you're not familiar with me. but I'm the student out on parole for child molesting... you've got to be kidding.. .a coordinator?.. .no.. .nursing home?.. .no, I'm sorry, I believe in mandatory euthanasia.. .What? I'm perfect for what? - goodbye!.. .thank God I finally got rid of her.. .not again - hello?.. .yes.. .yes.. .yes, I'm sure.. .I'm absolutely sure... I care for you too.. .yes.. .yes.. .1 love Him too.. .yes.. .yes.. .you want the date?... well alright - on February 8, 1963,1 was saved from a burning car.. .what?.. .submerged?... yes.. .yes.. .they put it out with water - goodbye! 22 I Furman Life