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Page 30 text:
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F)'THEr BONHQMI t Skkioii
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Page 31 text:
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FTthe- bonhomie The Conquest of Knowledge OCR years ago, towards the approach of that season whose days the ports have termed the “saddest of tin year.” a group of some seventy-five young men came to Furman, a country ruled over by a high and mighty potentate called Edwin. These men had gathered in response to a proclamation which had gone out from the court of Edwin, and which besought the youth of the surrounding districts and principalities to “come over into Macedonia and help us.” That is to say, Edwin, upon the advice of his Faculty—which is, being interpreted, his Privy Council—had issued a call for volunteers to enlist in his armies, in order that he might begin a carefully planned campaign against bis eternal enemy, Knowledge. Now Knowledge ruled the most extensive, the most fertile fields on the continent and it bad long been Edwin’s desire to win these rich holdings for bis own republic. And, indeed, through many vigorous campaigns he bad conquered not a little of his enemy’s realm and bad added it to bis own domains. Upon their arrival at Chapel, the capital of Furman, the above-mentioned young men were immediately enlisted by a process called matriculation, and. having received all necessary equipment from the quartermaster, who, however, was called Bursar, they were initiated into the plans of the campaign. But their rural souls longed, amid the clash f armor, for the quietude and tranquility of the life they had left behind. Indeed, the rudeness of the Sophomore regiment did not aid any in dispelling the loneliness f these new men. who were now called the Freshman Regiment. Their Colonel was a man of much strength, however, and under his leadership the Freshmen were determined to endure all bravely. At last all was ready and with four regiments Edwin and his staff set out on their campaign in the Fall of 1011. The recruits under able generals invaded the provinces of Math, English, History, Physics, Latin, Greek, Bible, and German and enriched thcnisclves with the fat of the land. Some few, however, were slain by the enemy, who had fortified themselves well with theorems, moods, tenses, chronologies, and great bodies called masses. .lust ns the campaign was being crowned with success, though, a terrible plague called graduation broke out and took off the entire Senior regiment. Edwin was thereupon compelled to withdraw. During the next two years the recruits developed into able soldiers and were assigned more difficult strategic movements involving the invasion of
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