Fryeburg Academy - Academy Bell Yearbook (Fryeburg, ME)

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The Academy Bell ll the pan now. Accordingly, each inside door was crowned with a tin pan and left slightly ajar. Banford also thought- fully placed a six-shooter under his pillow and stood a baseball bat with- in reach. Nf'w, Mirandyf' he courageously observed, as they were preparing to retire, if you are awakened by noise during the night, don't scream and jump out of bed. Just lie still, or some o' the bullets I fire at the burg- lar may go through you and kill you. Let me wrestle with the intruder, and I'll soon make him regret that he had not postponed being born for a few centuries. Then they turned down the gas with a feeling of security, and were soon fast asleep. About mid--night they were awakened by a noise that sounded like a clap of thunder, fol- lowed by a wail that almost chilled the marrow in their bones. Goodness'! screamed Mrs. Ban- ford in a voice swollen with terror, as she dived under the bedclothes, we'll be murdered in a minute. Shoot him Lucullus! Quick-shoot him. Banford after considerable nervous fumbling under the pillow, grasped his revolver and with an unsteady hand discharged its six barrels in rapid succession, but not with very gratifying results. One bullet shat- tered the mirror in the bureau, an- other splintered the bedpost, a fourth perforated a portrait of his wife's mother, and the other two left their imprint in the walls. D-d-don't be fuf-fuf-frightened, M-Mirandy, said Banford encour- agingly, his articulation sounding as if it had collided with an Arctic wave. I gug-guess I've kuk-kuk- killed him. He'll not kuk-kuk come here- At this juncture there was a noise in an adjoining room, as if a two- ton meteorite had crashed through a boiler foundry, and Mrs. Banford uttered a series of ear-piercing shrieks, that would have scared the life out of any burglar. M-Mirandy, stammered the frightened and demoralized Banford, grasping the baseball bat and swing- ing it around with such reckless pro- miscuity that he struck his terror- stricken wife on the head, M-Miran- dy, the house is fuf-full of mid-night mum-marauders, and we'll be bub- butchered in cold bub-bub-blood! Save yourself and don't mum-mind about me. And leaping out of bed, he sprang through a window on the roof of a back building, and acci- dently rolled off into the yard, fifteen feet below, just as another burglar alarm went off with a clamor almost as deafening and harrowing as an amateur orchestra. Mrs. Banford, thinking she had been hit by the burglar, emitted a fresh outburst of shrieks, while her husband lay groan- ing in the back yard, with a sprained ankle and a frightful gash on his head. ' A policeman had now been awak- ened by the uproar, and boldly mounting the front steps, he rung the doorbell but without any re- sponse. Then he hesitated.

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10 The Acaclemy Bell So our fuel question is more import- ant than most people realize. Forests are indispensable to agri- culture. They hold a vast resource of water that would quickly evap- orate if the trees were not there to furnish shade, and the thick layer of leaves that fall to the ground act as a blanket, preventing both erosion and evaporation. One of the greatest destroyers of timber is fire. Thousands of acres of woodland are burned each sum- mer by fires started by careless campers. The government forest rangers are doing much to prevent the loss of timber in this way, but even so it is the cause of an immense loss each year. There is a national law prohibit- ing the lighting of camp fires with- out the consent of the owner of the land and another law that makes it a serious offense to leave a campfire burning after you are through with it, but they seem to do little good. ROBERT LITTLEFIELD, '28. IT TAKES A MAN TO BE BRAVE Another Daring Burglary l read Mrs. Banford, as she picked up the morning paper. Lucullus, she said, turning to her husband, this is the fourth outrage of the kind in this town within a week, and if you don't get a burglar-alarm, or adopt some other means of security, I shall not remain in this house another night. Some morning we'1l get up and find ourselves murdered and the house robbed if we have to depend on the police for protection. Banford assured his wife that he would have the matter attended to at once. Then he left the house and didn't return until evening. When Mrs. Banford asked him if he had given a second thought to the sub- ject, he drew a newspaper from his pocket, and said, See here Mirandy! There's no use of foolin' away money on one o' these new-fangled burglar- alarms. Economy is wealth. Here's a capital idea suggested in this pa- per, cheap, simple and effective. And then he read the suggestion about hanging a tin pan on the cham- ber-door. I tell you Mirandy! The man who conceived that brilliant notion is a heavenborn genius-a boon to man- kind, and his name should go ring- ing down the corridors of time with those of such brilliant intellect as Watt, Morse, Edison, and other suc- cessful scientiiic investigators. You see, the least jar of the door will dis- lodge the pan, and the noise occa- sioned thereby will not only awaken the occupants of the room, but will also scare a burglar half to death, and perhaps the pan will strike him on the head and fracture his skull. It is a glorious scheme, and the fact that it was not utilized years ago is the most remarkable thing about it. Well, assented Mrs. Banford, in less sanguine tones, it may be better than nothing, and it won't cost any- thingg and as Susan has gone out to spend the night with her sick sister, and we'll be all alone, I'll hunt up

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12 The Academy Bell If a foul murder has been com- mitted, he mused, the assassin has already made good his escape. This thought gave him courage and he forced an entrance. In the entry he collided with a hat rack, which he mistook for the outlaw, and al- most demolished it with severe whacks of his club. Then he made a careful reconnoissance, and dis-l lodged one of the burglar alarms. Spare my life, he yelled to the imaginary assailant, I'1l let you es- cape! He thought he had been stabbed with the frying pan. He rushed out of the house and secured the assist- ance of four of his fellow oflicers and the search of the building was re- sumed. Mrs. Banford was found in bed unconscious. Her husband was down in the yard in nearly a simi- lar condition, and the burglar was found under the sofa shivering with fear, and with his tail down between his legs. The cause of the panic was soon explained. Mrs, Banford had over- looked the presence of her pet dog in the house, and this innocent ani- mal, in running from one room to another, had dislodged the cheap and effective burglar alarms. PHYLIS MARs'roN, '28. AQUANIA The hot summer sun rose. over the still-sleeping city of Aquania, gild- ing the steeples and towers of the ancient city with the Midas-like touch of its slanting rays. The ruins over the old Roman baths were still in the shadow, but the sun, rising higher, touched their crumbling sides with a trace of former glory. In the newer part of the city, the bustle and hurry of the day was just beginning, but among these majestic ruins there were no signs of life ex- cept for the birds and insects, which held full sway. The birds filled the morning air with their joyful songs, welcoming the return of light and warmth. Two turtle-doves circled around the ruins of the Temple of Venus and came to rest on one of the few upstanding pillars as if they rec- ognized this to be a fit place for their lovemaking. Hither a goat herd drove his flock of goats to graze among the fallen stones and pillars, while he lay stretched in the sun dreaming away until it should be time to go home again. Hither, also, a pretty maiden hastened to fill her large pottery jar at a fountain which still existed among all these ruins. As she hur- ried back with the full jar balanced on her head, she nearly stumbled over the goat boy who was lying prone on the grass 3 she scolded him sharply for being so indolent but he only laughed and settled himself for an- other nap, and the pretty girl has- tened on home. All the long lazy forenoon the place remained deserted except for the sleeping goat boy and his flock. At noon the boy slowly arose from his couch and standing on two stones like a miniature Colossus of Rhodes, he stretched himself and yawned pro-