Friends Select School - Record Yearbook (Philadelphia, PA)

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Hello, Dahlingsl Here I am-the Brooks Atkinson of Philadel- phia -chattering away as usual, but in a different vein. Tonight I am deviating from my usual theatre review to bring you some juicy tidbits concerning my charming high school acquaintances. This evening, at the old Sheraton, the 1972 reunion of my graduating class was held.1 Entering the spacious ballroom, my sight was caught by a mass of grey at a nearby table. Re- moving my sunglasses, I saw D. Wtilfe and H. D. Myerson, who were discussingz a merger between their two competing Ivy League under- wearil companies. Helping them on the legal points was their mutual attorney, Dohn Rosenthal. At the next table were lVlarlene5 and her weekend guest, the ever-glamorous Sylvia DiRocco.6 Joining the medical group, I discovered that the lVlacCollian Theory of Capitalism was still the main topic of discussion after fifteen years. Dr. A. I.7 Cohn and D1'. C. G. lVlilnerS were landing capital- 1. Class of 1957, Friends' Select School. The old brick building, put up by the Indians in 1500, has been replaced with a modern institution which has three gyms, an ample audi- torium, surrounding hockey and soccer fields, and a spacious Teachers' Room. No classrooms. 2. In the quiet manner for which they are so well known. 3. With the belt in the back. 4. Mr, Rosenthal also doubles as the Editor-in-Chief of Phila- delphia's most famous scandal sheet. QThis paperl. 5. Owner of the House of O'Flanagan. 6. Head of a famous chain of Italian restaurants. '7. Always Inquisitivc Cohn. who is also noted for his breeding of musical dogs. His two most well-known dogs are Mario Allegro Lanza and Julie Coda-London. 8. House doctor for 2602 Parkway. Dr. Milner has done ex- tensive work in the 2602 mink farm. ORD FUR istic medicine, when Dr. HM. D. Dickman brought up a point that he had made in his last speech before the A.lVI.A. Dr. Dickman stated that all bacteria should be socializedf' Anne E. Fry, who has long opposed the socializing of medicine, seemed amused by the discussion. The energetic Miss Fry is at present the Dean of Smiths' Collegefo I was sorry to miss Dr. James F. Stokes, but I was told that he had been lost somewhere in space between Mars and lVIercury.l1 His disappearance is of special significance, for he had in his possession a serum which, when administered to three-year-old chim- panzees, gives them the intelligence of ninth grade girls. Discussing the serum were Norman Silver- manu, Earl Zipin, pharmaceutical advisor to Dr. Stokes who checked out from the lVIars-lVlercury eXpedition,l3 and Dr. Edward ChernofI.14 Walking across the room, I encountered Judith Beryl Waxxnaxi, buyer for The House of O'Flanagan15, who was making arrangements for a fashion show with designers 'fBette w Thomson 9. In direct opposition to the MacCollian Theory, devised by a now-retired history teacher, who has recently been in- vestigated by a committee of the House on Un-Blauveltian Activities. The investigation was conducted by committee chairman, James Moishe Vitagliano. 10. Due to some excellent work on the part of Miss Fry, Smiths' College is now accepting a limited number of Joneses, 11. Before his departure on his outer-space excursion, Dr. James Fenimore Stokes completed his best-selling autobiography, The Last of the Stokes. 12. Head of the company who built the new Friends' Select. He is hailed as the only man ever to construct a school without classrooms. fHis actions are now being investigated by the House on Un-Blauveltian Activities.J 13. Mr. Zipin was the former understudy of Elvis Presley. 14. Dr. Chernofi has done remarkable work with chimpanzees, and has recently opened a clinic for ninth-grade victims of St. Presley's Dance. 15. Formerly Wannies. 16. Otherwise known as Barbara. Fartyfeight

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T ORROW' and Jill Malamut. While I spoke to Judith, Bar- baran tried to persuade Nancie lVlyere18 to model some new evening fashions at O'Flanagan's.19 Jill turned to Judy Stphensgo and Charles Grossm, who were fervently discussing the advertising cam- paign for Jill's new cruise Wear. Looking for a new diversion, I spotted Arlene 0 Parris'2 and Smedley Lynn. I breezed up to them, but my Hello was lost, for Janet Mendell, pro- fessor of mathematics at Harvard, rushed up to Smed23 and begged him to help her make out her income tax returns. After chatting briefly with Arlene24, I went to say Boo to Mrs. Harold Friedmanga, who was discussing child psychology with Mrs. David Rudofkenm flVlr. Rudofker is head of the tuxedo department at the House of O'Flanagan.27j Mrs. Friedman had brought along her dog and her husband.2S Seated at a table nearby were Mona Hendler and Norma 1429, who were talking about Norma's latest marriage. Mona has made 17. Otherwise known as 'Bettef' 18. World's highest paid modele. 19. Formerly Wannies. 20. Hair now completely white, the Towson girl who made good. 21. Mr. Gross has replaced Norman Rockwell as America's lead- ing artist. He was formerly the fountain cleaner for the Philadelphia Art Museum. 22. Widely-known author of the trilogy: The String Balm and 1, Master Bill's Egg Cup and 1, and Gmtz College and l. fNot autobiographical! 23. Better known as Bill. Certified Private Accountant for the House of 0'Flanagan. 24. About Arlene. 25. nee Barbara Jo Keyser. 26. nee Leona Joan Liss, fLouie's daughterl. 27. nee Wannies. 28. Laddie and Dr. Friedman. Please do not confuse. 29. I am not quite sure of Norma's last name. At present, I think that she is married to Aly Khan. famous the new Shaggy Dog hair style, origi- nated at the Beauty Salon of Formerly VVannie's.30 Arriving late, with Sue Kahn on his arm, Was the aging but still dapper playboy, Andy Amster- dam.3l Sue is one of Friends, Select's most famous products. She is currently playing first piccolo, first 'cello, first triangle, and first tuba with the Phila- delphia Orchestra. I hadn't seen Jerry Steingard or Jim Vitagliano so I asked Sue whether or not they were coming. Sue explained that Jerry, former basketball star, was coaching the Philadelphia VVarriors on to victory at an away game, and that Jim, who had just resigned his Congressional post to campaign for the Presidency, was barn- storming in the West. Sadly I bade adieu to my dear, dear friends, Who, in fifteen years, have proved to the World that life can be beautiful, productive and stimulating. 'Til tomorrow, when We meet again for my nightly theater news-yours, the eifervescent, youthful, disarming, charming, provocative,32 , ZIGGY33 30. The House of O'Flanagan. 31. Andy was delayed because he had difiiculty in finding a parking Space for his new 888-Oldsmobile, a. fourteen-seater with quadruple exhausts. 32. And prolix. Not to be confused with the once-famous actor, Gerald Zeigerman, who was last seen struggling out of The Lower Depths. Fortyminc