Freeport High School - Voyageur Yearbook (Freeport, NY)

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WEATHER Tomorrow, followed by occasional Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, etc. I I ' I . I : : i VOLUME I, NUMBER 205 SEAFORD DELEGATION TO U.N. AMBUSHED! INDIANS ROUTED BY NEW WEAPONS . Last night, a group of twenty-two Indians, presumably from McCloskey's Steak House in Belmore, ambushed a group of three persons, including the Seaford Delegation to the U.N.O., in the Bellmore Woods. U 'Mr. Robert Langan, President of the Seaford Chamber of Commerce and one of the victims, described the attack in a statement to the press which read: We were riding along very peacefully in the Seaford School Bus when all of a sudden Tom Fleckenstein, the tail gunner, sounded the 'battle stations' alarm. A squadron of twenty-two Seaford Harbor In- dians mounted on gigantic sand crabs were gaining on us rapidly. Fleckenstein fired on them time and time again with his pea-shooter, but to no avail. Our lives seemed doomed, for the crabs were almost on us and John Grover, the bus-driver, announced that we had only enough fuel for two or three minutes. At this point Mr. Langan passed out. However, a miraculous episode was to follow immediately. Out of the brush with the ferociousness of a hundred lions stormed Don Davenport and Dolores Palmer, armed with weapons which were considered too too horrible even for such atrocious warfare as this- rolled up copies of the Daily News. They waded in among the Redmen, and with the help of Carol Perry and Scarfie Gilbert, who answered their cries, managed to over- power thirteen of the killers. However, nine of the Indians failed to fall under this mur- derous attack and continued in hot pursuit of the boiling bus. just as our brave Seafordonians were about to be overtaken by the sand-crab-mounted Red Skins, two battalions of Freeport's own theatre ushers led by Bob Murphy, manager of the Grove Theatre, and Harry Ogden, new magnate of the Century Theatre System, arrived by helicopter and showered the Indians with a barrage of chocolate-covered ice cream pops stolen from Wagstaffs. The Indians fell under this relentless attack and retreated to Mc- Closkey's fto eat their ice-cream popsj. Nevertheless, Ruth Hasselt, public relations clerk of the Freeport Immigration Office, warned the Seafordonians that Mr. Robert Erwig, an Indian sympathizer, had been inaugu- rated as manager of McCloskey's recently and that the attacks might recur more frequently unless some action was taken in the near future. Awarded Physics Prize! Prof. Fred Frankel, B.A., O.D., J.E.R.C., a graduate of Freeport High School and Harvard University, recently returned to LOCAL MUSICAL GENIUS HITS COLD SPOT IN CAREER New York from Oslo, Norway, where he was awarded the Nobel Prize for physics. Prof. Frankel discovered a new physical component, Exo-Lacto. '47 Alumni Reunion Recalls Variety Show The 20th reunion of the class of '47 was held at Brenner's Brunch Monday. After a sumptuous repast, Toastmistress Newber- ger, president pro tem of the United Na- tions, rendered a soprano solo, Glory to the Safety Catch on the Atomic Bomb. After a tremendous ovation, the little kiddies of the original chicken octet mem- bers peeped just delightfully through the chorus of The Little Red Hen and then disappeared, presumably to their nests. The next feature was a table dance by the in- comparable ballerina, Louisa Combse, whose troupe has been acclaimed the most inter- pretative of the interpretors. Following in some sort of order came a clever little play- let, The G.I. Gives or A Napple for the Reacher by the Goon 'n Loon Layers. Next was to be a sedate version of the Floradora dance, but alas time had so dealt with the cast that even a languid kick was impos- sible. At this point the Brunch electrician, Howardell, overcome by nostalgia blew a fuse. The program was concluded in the darkness by a thanksgiving intoned by Bishop Hogle. Miss Dorothy Yahner, famous maestro of international fame, arrived at Reykavic, Iceland, recently to conduct the Seal Skin Symphony in a series of Arctic concerts. A new repertoire of music has been pre- pared for these polar concerts by Miss Yahner. A feature number will be Hoagy Carmichael's new arrangement of Stone COLD Dead in the Market. Mahnken Mangles Salter Wild Willie Salter, the former tissue weight boxing champ of the Sth period gym class, finally met his Waterloo fight- ing in the feature bout last night at the Brookside Avenue Armory. Wild Willie was knocked out by Jostling Jorge Mahn- ken, up and coming heavyweight. With only three seconds gone in the first round, Salter looked into the audience to try to steal a glance at his former history teacher, Miss Ethel Boardman, and Mahn- ken caught him with a resounding left hook. Salter staggered under the blow and was finished off neatly with one of Mahn- ken's vicious right crosses. Salter fell flat on his face right in front of Miss Board- man-again at her feet!! Donald Powers, the famous fight promoter, immediately signed Mahnken up for another fight, this time with the undefeated heavyweight from South Freeport, Biting Bill Tait. 30 FREEPORTL WORLD OF SPORTS Pitcher Pilots Pros, Hunts Hong Minus the services of one of their stars, Leon Hong, the Harcher Street Fags eked out a thrilling 9-4 win over the Columbian Avenue Blobs last night in a South Free- port basketball, football, chess, backgam- mon, cribbage, and croquet league game. Frank Pitcher, player-coach-waterboy of the Harcher Fags, was the star of the game. Pitcher hit the cords for thirteen points- nine for Harcher Street-four for Colum- bian Avenue. Mr. Hong did not show up for the game, and Mr. Pitcher has not heard any official word of his contemporary star for more than three days. Unconfirmed rumors inti- mate that Hong fell in a vat of chop-suey in his father's restaurant, but we'll have to wait a few days until an X-ray of the stomach of everyone who has eaten chop- suey in the last ZW days can be made be- fore the report can be confirmed. Olympic Team Tops The U. S. Olympic Tiddley-Wink Team won its final match against Russia yesterday in the International Olympic Games layed at Berlin. The U. S. team sparked gy the sharpshooting of Ed White and jack Hudock came from behind to win a close game 36-35. The game was also marked by the outstanding defensive game of Corky Andrews, who broke up shot after shot. Andrews, however, was forced to leave the game when he was hit on his left big toe with a loaded tiddley. Ken Lozier also was an outstanding performer for the Yanks but was unfortunately removed from the game in the closing moments for five personal fouls. For the Soviets, jim Murphy was the star scoring all of Russia's 35 points. Although Murphy scored all of the Red's points, he was assisted greatly by Auton Schmaltzo- witz, who set up most of the scoring plays. The lineups: U.S. F.G. F. T. White, rt. 6 1 15 Andrews, lt. 0 1 1 Tait, c. 2 1 5 Hudock, vg. 5 3 13 Lozier, rg. 1 0 2 Kobel, lg. 0 2 2 14 8 36 Russia FG. F. T. Kronowski, rt. 0 0 0 Hizziffiganski, lt. 0 0 0 Traspozowicz, c. O O 0 Pandoffnowyk, vg. 0 0 0 Schmaltzowitz, rg. 0 O 0 J. Murphy, lg. 15 5 55 15 5 35