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Page 26 text:
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THE ULARI ON Qfulius Caesar Caius Julius Caesar was born July 12, 100 B. C. in Rome, in Italy, and in the night. During his life he was a very un- happy man. To be more explicit he had four different wives fat different times, of eourse.j If Caesar had lived at the present day, there is no doubt in the minds of those competent to judge that he would have been a great moving picture actor. That he had all the qualilications is shown by the number of his marriages. But being cruelly prevented by lack of opportunity from embracing the calling for which he was so admirably fitted, he decided to become a soldier. He gradually rose to be tl1e commander of a legion and fin- ally he became virtually a dictator-an absolute ruler not one who gives dictation. He had one favorite legion gathered from all parts of the republic every soldier of which Caesar was per- sonally acquainted with and at whom fso he boastedj he could swear in his own language. The Gauls were getting very troublesome to the Roman fron- tiersmen, taking pot shots at them from behind trees and letting the air out of their tires when they werenit lookingg so Caesar Sharpened up his scalping knife and started to clean them out. In the course of this cleaning, he played mean tricks on them. All the Grauls got so sore at him and the rest of the Romans that their bitterness has been proverbial ever since. Space prohibits my entering into details on the campaign, but I will mention one incident that received quite a write-up from the paper. Kaiser Bill and the German army were on one side of the Rhine and Caesar and the Dagoes on the other. Communication between the two armies was almost impossibleg so Caesar conceived the idea of building a bridge. In the con- struction of this bridge he used tive legions, 700 tons of cement, 3 tons of TNT, four weeks, and several volumes of cuss-words. ' 22
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Page 25 text:
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l,l7'El311RY liencl rested. Pollyl Polly! NV:tlce up, Polly! Yer ein't dezul is yer, Polly? ,Plense eonie hnek I need yer l My yeller mztdness got the hest of ine l I kin see so soon how mean Pve been to yer! .lust pleztse Uilllit yer eolne hzteli l Hut there wns no response-Polly haul gone never to come hawk l Between sohs :tncl snuflles Amos was zthle to kneel over Polly :tncl to szty :Lloncl this verse from the I-Ioly Book, which he haul often heard his futher reed,- 'lThere lStililiflllll.lC0l,i1 hiineelf rieh, yethnth nothing: There is tlmt nmlceth himself poor, yet hath greet riches? ALIC'lE DYER '30 SPRINGTIME THOUGHTS I woke up in the enrly morn Feeling snrl :Incl all forlorn, But when I heard the babbling brook And sew the bright green grassy plain, My thoughts were of another vein. l thought of ull the birds that sing, As from the South lend, new they Wing Their happy wuy toward Cnseo Huy, Where in tall pines they build their nest, 'Flint serves izhexn for their Slll'lllllUl'7S rest. I i.il0llg'lll'. of countless wintry streams Thnt free themselves from iey dretuns, And wake again to active life, And gently flow mid ITIOSS :md flowers Where snnnner hnilcls her secret bowers. GLADX'S OLIVER ,257 Zl
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Page 27 text:
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.l,lTEIiA.1iY One moonlight night the Kziiser went out to reeonnoiter. As Virgil expresses it, Kaiser Bill went up the hill, To get :L look :it Frzinee, Kaiser Bill, eaune down the hill VVith bullets in his paints. This quiekly brought matters to an head. Nviillfillll ordered :in advance across the bridge. Unknown to the enemy Caesar had put several tons of high explosive under the bridge and when the Gernnms stepped onto it they started heavenward in more ways than one. A tobneeo box, which was zrfterwsrrd identiiied :Ls belonging to the Kaiser, was reeentl y pieked up near Paris. Otherwise no traee has been found. In ai syndicated newspaper article on the nnlssnere, ll. Gernuui soldier expressed it as follows. I stood on the bridge :tt midnight C To get some refreshing airg The bridge went out from under me And left me standing there. There wars :in arssoeintion of men in Rome, led by Caesars friend, Brutus, known as The Royal Order of String Beans. These men were unable to find anything to cure their excessive lezznness. Brutus linally appealed to Caesar, who was something of u, Scientist. For many days Caesar worked on the ease but was unable to iind il remedy. The String Beans, b1'oken-hezLrt- ed, formed 2l.COl1SPi1'2l.Uy to kill him. Only two days before the appointed 2LSSll5Sillil.'LiOll Caesar, burning the midnight oil, dis- eovered that prunes would eure the zmilment. 7 The very night before the crime, his wife, Calpurnia, had the nightm:u'e :md dreanned that she saw il plum tree, and while she watched, the plums dried up and became prunes. She saw her husband approach and begin to eat the prunes, she saw him ehoke on am prune stone and then to her horror saw her lord and 23
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