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Page 56 text:
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Pearl Gardiner: He said I was his pearl. Earl Gardiner: I guess he wanted to string you. Reversed How long have they been marri- ed-1 is About live years. Did she make him a good wife? No, but she made him an awful - good husband! A Call Down The tenant: Say, last night the rain came through the roof and gave me a regular shower bath! You ought to do something. The Landlord: VV'hat do you expect me to do? Give you soap and LOWBISYH 4- u Gentlemen Only Will the gentlemen please move up front a little? Called out the po- lite conductor. I won't, growled Mr. Steele, who sat stubbornly in his seat. Oh, I didnlt ask you! replied the conductor. Mrs. Johnson: Use the word tri- angle in a sentence. Don Marcia: If fish won't bite on grasshoppers triangle worms. Mr. Cosgrove: Now, can anyone tell me what the Indians called the head man in their tribe? Three hands went up, and the reply was Chief Mr. Cosgrove: Did they have any name for his wife? One hand was raised in the front of the room and a voice said: Mischief ! June B.: Have you heard about the man who sat up all night trying to ngure out where the sun Went when it set? Grace: No, what happened? June B.: lt linally dawned on him. Arriving home from his first day in the Freshman class, Bobby Ho- tharn's mother asked him how he liked it. Oh, it's all right, Bobby replied. Do the teachers like you? his mother asked. Oh, yes! replied Bobby, my math teacher put Cxxxxj kisses all over my paper. H Joe: I never bother thinking up a story for my mother. Bill: Why? Joe: Cause if she's asleep I won't need it and if she's waiting up I won't get a chance to tell it. Mrs. Johnson: What's the differ- ence between cat and a comma? Bernie: A cat has claws at the end of its paws, but a comma's a pause at the end of a clause. A woman and a car are much alike. A good grease and paint job con- ceals the years, but the lines tell the story! The signed appeared in Robert's Lunch, Liberty, after the proprie- tor had suffered from souvenir hunters. Sign: The silver is not a medicine. Do not take it after your meal. Maxine Downer '53
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Page 55 text:
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JOKES How to make a speech -- Make it like a womanis skirt-short enough to be interesting and long enough to cover the subject. Mr. Higgins: What did you learn in school today? Michael- I learned to say, Yes, Michael: I learned to say, Yes sir. Mr. Higgins: You did? Michael: Yep! Janette: Horray! Mr. Lupolt said we'd have a test today, rain or shine. June L.: What's so good about that? Janette: It's snowing. Paul Mc.: Doctor, you were right when you said you would have me walking in less than a month. Doctor: Good! Good! Paul Mc.: Yes, I had to sell my automobile to pay your bills. Cop: What do you mean doing 50 miles an hour? Donnie: My breaks aren't very good, and I was hustling home be- fore I had an accident. A sergeant lined twenty men up for detail. They weren't as energetic as he thought they should be, so heltried using psychology. I've got a very easy job for the laziest man here, he bellowed. Will the laziest raise his hand? Nineteen hands shot up. Why don't you raise your hand? he asked the twentieth. Too much trouble, drawled the G I Bobby G.: Can you tell me Why Mr. Higgins' head is like heaven? Bernard: I certainly can see no re- semblance! Bobby G.: Well, it's a bright and shining spot, and there's no part- ing there! No one has ever discovered where pins go. The trouble seems to be that they're headed in one direc- tion and pointed in the other. Bette: The engagement ring you gave me always reminds me of a state capital. Earl: Really? Which one? Bette: Little Rock. The 64 dollar question-Does Mr. Cosgrove have false teeth? ? Kenton M.: How do you like your new sister, Nelson? Nelson S.: Aw, she's the favorite around here! When I bite a finger nail I get sent to bed without sup- per: but when she puts her whole foot in her mouth they think it's cute. Mr. Cosgrove: Why did they call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages? Dennis Myrick: Because the wo- men kept their ages dark,-No, because there were so many knights. Mr. Higgins: I wonder how it is a girl can't catch a ball like a man? Bertha Downer: Oh, a man is so much bigger and easier to catch.
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