Fredericksburg College - Quips and Quibbles Yearbook (Fredericksburg, VA)

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Page 58 Pope .GEORGE CARRINGTON MOSELEY President .GASTON BOYLE Vice-President .LEWIS HOLLADAY BOYLE Secretary .ALFRED E. MILLER Treasurer .J. HUNTER GEORGE MEMBERS ‘ ‘ JIMMIE ” “ DEATH ” “ GRAVE ’ ’ “ SUI GENERIS ” “ SHORTY” ' I ' HIS club was formed in the early spring of 1902 by - ■ certain gentlemen dwelling at “Scotia.” At first it consisted of Pope (who was chief ruler, his most impor¬ tant power being that he could annul all marriages); President (who usually presided and called meetings of the club); Vice-President (whose powers were nominal, mainly); Treasurer (who had nothing to treasure); and QUIPS AND QUIBBLES Secretary (who was elected “just so”). It was agreed that the meetings should be held at midnight, by the dim mysterious light of the lamp turned low, and in the third story of old “Scotia.” For a while the club seemed to be flourishing, and its members waxed eloquent in speeches against the fair sex, and man’s happiness when alone. But what a sad thing it is when ’tis discovered that, under a pretense of conformity to club rules, there is direct violation of its laws! The first and foremost rule was that any one who communicated in any way with the opposite sex was to be excommunicated. One stormy night when the wind shook old “Scotia” till she trembled to her very foundation, there was a meeting called at the request of a member, who said he had a very important matter to lay before the club. When called upon for a speech, he said that he had seen the Pope with a letter of pale tinted paper. That he held this letter to the nose of some one, telling him to smell how sweet it was, but that it wasn’t half as sweet as she who wrote it! Then there was a storm within equalled only by that without—and the Pope lost his office. At this same meeting the Pope brought accusations against the President of having been “calicoing” not once, but often, which accusation could not be denied. ’Twas now discovered that every one of them had com¬ municated in some way with the despised sex; and so, ’mid great confusion and shame, the Bachelor’s Club. was disbanded.

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QUIPS AND QUIBBLES Page 57 CLYDE BRUCE, Chief “pomp adorer (pompadourer)—She who presides over all meetings of this august assembly. LOUISE SOMERVILLE—She who presides in case of the absence of the Chief. LOUIS THOMPSON—She who treasures the rats, curling tongs, hair pins, dyes, brushes, combs, bows, etc., of the organization. CARLINE HIRSH—She who corresponds with manufacturers of the aforesaid articles. MEMBERS CLYDE BRUCE LOUISE SOMERVILLE LOUIS THOMPSON CARLINE HIRSH MARGARET HOWISON BESSIE CR 1 SMOND SUSIE RAWLINGS MARY LATIMER SUSIE YATES ANNIE LATIMER SUSIE HALES NORA GOOLRICK MARY LINDSAY ESTHER THOMAS FLORA MASON ANNIE GORDON SUSIE HARRIS ANNIE LATIMER BESSIE B. GAMMON CORNELIA LATIMER LETTIE ROSE (alias Janice) The following program for the benefit of the public was rendered on the first day of April, 1902: 1. Welcoming address. Chief 2. Vocal Solo— “ Her Golden Hair was Pompgd upon her Head”.B. B. Gammon 3. Essay—“ The Respective Values of Rats and Curl¬ ing Tongs”.M. M. Howison 4. Piano duo—“Pompadour March”. Misses Hirsh and Somerville 5. Essay—“Life and Character of Madame de la Pompadour”. Annie T. Gordon 6 . Chorus —“Long Live the Pompadour. The Entire Clue

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QUIPS AND QUIBBLES Bachelor Maids’ Club President, L. P. R. (Little Prim Rider ' ) Vice-President, C. B. (Certainly Broad-Minded ) Secretary, M. L. L. (My Liltle Love ) Treasurer, M. L. M. (My Lovely Maid) MEMBERS S. V. H. (Vo Very Hilarious ) S. Y. (So Young!) M. R. (Mighty Rash!) A. T. G. (A Trim Girl) C. G. L. (Can t Get Left) G. J. (Great Joker) B. C. (Bold Creature) S. R. C. (Surely Real Cute) L. A. S. (Lovely and Sweet) E. M. H. (Enormous Man Hater) Page 59 The exact date of the founding of this club is lost in the mists of antiquity, but there is no doubt that the institution has long flourished. We have had many famous members, one of the greatest of them the good “Queen Bess,” whose great ability in ruling men was largely due to her being an active member of this organization. One of our principal objects is the suppression of that malady, Love, which has been termed “an insane desire on the part of one man to support another man ' s daughter.” This disease has from the earliest time caused an immense and incalculable amount of trouble. For Helen, Troy was burned; for Cleopatra, a brave man turned traitor to his country. Then we know, too, when a certain one of our professors does not receive his expected visit from the postman, that we have an awfully hard time. Even our editors have lost a passably good story, that they dared not accept for fear some readers might recognize the hero and heroine as acquaintances. So the long and the short of our convictions may be best expressed in the motto which we have unanimously adopted: “Where singleness is bliss, tis folly to be wives. ”