Frederick High School - Warrior Yearbook (Frederick, CO)

Page 103 text:

c awe fwwt by an OSS agent It was a beautrful nrght rn Frederrck on the 13th of Aprrl The wrnd was howlrng and the dust was as thrck as Mrs Murphy spea soup At the halls of Frederrck Hrgh rn Frederrck a lone frgure was seen by a few mamuana students as he entered the hrgh school burldrng The wrnd howled and the students stumbled across the road and were helped rnto an automobrle by a few of therr brothers The lone frgure who had entered the burldrng turned on a lrght rn hrs offrce of the Scrence Dept He opened a book and began to read between nrps of cough medrcrne Suddenly there was a horrrble scream and the offrce lrght was turned out A chokrng norse followed and then hrdeous laughter rang through the halls ofthe empty burldrng But thrs norse fell on no outsrde ear and only the srlence of a small Colorado tomado could b heard Mornrng came to Frederrck Hrgh and ,lanrtor Uack Walshj was busy prckrng bottles off of the lawn unaware of the grrm tragedy that was soon to be beheld The janrtor havrng gathered up all of the bottles entered the burldrng to clean out the rooms The work went smoothly untrl a shout of Mama Mra rang through the corrrdors A grrm face Janrtor was soon wrtness to a crrme beyond all horror There hangrng by hrs feet hrs head rn one corner of the room hrs bloodv arms rn a waste paper basket was Dr Murphy After the mrnor tragedx had calmed down Inspector Beastly head of Weld county Gang Page Sponsor MARTHA MAPLE BEAUTY SHOP

Page 105 text:

Busters was on the scene to study the case wrth care Dr Murphy had been shot rn the back of the head knrfed strangled porsoned drsmembered and hrs shoes had been untred Inspector Beastly then sard What a Beastly crrme Any practrcal joker who would untre a man s shoes should be shot rn the eyelrds Then he contrnued to search for clues Strckrng out of the dead man s back was a knrfe wrth the rnrtrals C K Near the wrndow was an axe wrth the rnrtrals C K Caught on a narl on the wrndow srll was a prece of materral wrth the cleanrng mark C K Inspector Beastly pondered over the clues and frnally shouted Why Jn the hell was I born P A handsome man wrth a sunburnt nose and horned rrmmed glasses sard Dr Kusrck of the Scrence dept has the rnrtrals of C K Wunderbar shouted Inspector Beastly vrho was an old student of Frederrck Hrgh A small group of shabbrly dressed polrce led by Inspector Beastly frn a tweed surty soon were rn the Scrence Room Shhh shouted Beastly A cop replred I see you had a date wrth Currre last nrte No I tore my pants on a narl Beastly replred Water was heard runmng rn a srnk rn the far comer of a room where fraudulent fossrls were made by Junrorstudents Beastlv peered around a corner and there was Dr Kusrck rn the process of washrng starns from hrs vest Ah l-Ia crred Beastly as he drew hrs 45 whrch was caught on a thread rn hrs pocket The gun went off rn Beastly s pocket and a prle of plaster fossrls fell on hrm The cops all beat Dr Kusrck was now rn control of the srtuatron and so Beastly was pruned down by the tremendous stomach of Kusrck Dr Kusrck qurckly called two bearded students and soon In spector Beastly was wearrng a plaster top coat made of a playtex rubber Before he knew rt he was berng whrsked to a deep lake The get away car was long and black and could not be seen hrdden rn the bushes But fate had rt that Beastly was not to dre that day As the Junror students led by Dr Kusrck were about to throw Beastly rnto the lake a great cry arose from the bushes Then twenty freshmen students dashed to the lake yellrng Down wrth the scrence students they re tryrng to break up our beer bust The mad screntrst dashed to the get away car but rt was too late The freshmen were all Vellrng Save them for later and we ll throw them rn the sump Beastly was chrseled out of hrs rubber playtex by broken beer bottles He soon had control of the srtuatron but the freshmen wouldn t let hrm go There was only one thrng to do he shot the freshmen fand got 10 cents a prece for therr hrdesj Soon all of hrs valrant cops arrrved on the scene not because of hrs perrl but because they heard about the free beer Beastly strung up the culprrt by the feet and threatened further vrolence rf he drdn t talk Soon Dr Kusrck broke down and confessed fle had krllcd Dr Murphy because he was tryrng to horn rn on hrs Audrovrsual money for next year Beastly was now satrsfredand he obtarned a wrrtten confessron from the mad doctor The doctor recerved a sentence of two years hrs assrst ants each got one year and Dr Murphy s body was stuffed and sewn together and rs now on drs play rn the Anthropology Museum rn Washrngton Beastly rs now runnrng for senator wrth the slogan Crrme Does Not Pay Frnrs Page Sponsor MR. and MRS RALPH LE PORE Y b I I . n ' . l n l D I I I I I . . N . . . . .. .. , . V .. . . I . ' . . . it ffor Sam's Liquor storey and Beastly was left alone with mad Dr. Kusrck. I 7 . . ., ' VV I ' 'V , . 1 I I 0 - ' - - 1 I I ' ' -