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Page 20 text:
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Mr. Hall. Out in Connecticut when 1 was a boy I went riding on a wagon which had a straw mattress on it. I was smoking — ( He looks around triumphantly, to note with pained surprise that Messrs. Gorsline and Warne have peacefully gone to sleep during the anecdote). Mr. Allison. As Pythagoras said — Mr. Kern (menacingly). I ' m getting sick and tired of hearing about this guy Pythagoras. Mr. Allison (glibly). In a right triangle the square of the hypoteneuse equals the sum of the squares of the other two sides. ( Mr. Kern arises hastily and hits Mr. Allison on the head with a telephone book ) . Mr. Hall. Please pass out quietly. Mr. Merritt (triumphantly snapping shut the case of his alarm watch). Time: (Curtain, very fast, as the teachers make their exit, looking very learned, indeed. ) Pape Si teen
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Page 19 text:
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IMPRESSIONS OF A TEACHERS ' MEETING i By somebody who has never attended one) rime: Just before the reports are due. just after the reports have been issued, or something like that. Place: Dr. Koenig ' s office. Enter the teachers, filing in slowly and solemnly. Mr. Warne ( absentmindedly ) . All right, fellers, let ' s get organized now. Dr. Koenig. Gentlemen, be seated. Is there any subject to be brought up before the meeting? Mr. Kern. I saw a great bargain at De Pinna ' s yesterday. It was a very subdued shirt, you know, one with purple polo players running up and down the border. And it only cost — Mr. Hall (scornfully). Why that ' s nothing. Out in Connecticut- Mr. Merritt. Have you heard the one about the — Dr. Koenig. Come now. we must get to work. This discussion must stop. Mr. Gorsline. I was speaking to John Student yesterday and it really was most amazing to see — Mr. Allison. As Pythagoras said — (At this point Mr. Keith drops off to sleep and mutters some- thing about a periphrastic chasing a supine up and down an in- finitive ' s back, or something like that. ) Mr. Hall (sadly). Wesleyan was never like this. Mr. Allison. As Pythag oras said — Mr. Kern. Well, as Alec Woolcott remarked to me at last night ' s opening — Mr. Warnc. Say. that ' s nothing. Back in the army we used to — Page Fifteen
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