Franklin School - Franklinite Yearbook (New York City, NY)

Page 19 text:

IMPRESSIONS OF A TEACHERS ' MEETING i By somebody who has never attended one) rime: Just before the reports are due. just after the reports have been issued, or something like that. Place: Dr. Koenig ' s office. Enter the teachers, filing in slowly and solemnly. Mr. Warne ( absentmindedly ) . All right, fellers, let ' s get organized now. Dr. Koenig. Gentlemen, be seated. Is there any subject to be brought up before the meeting? Mr. Kern. I saw a great bargain at De Pinna ' s yesterday. It was a very subdued shirt, you know, one with purple polo players running up and down the border. And it only cost — Mr. Hall (scornfully). Why that ' s nothing. Out in Connecticut- Mr. Merritt. Have you heard the one about the — Dr. Koenig. Come now. we must get to work. This discussion must stop. Mr. Gorsline. I was speaking to John Student yesterday and it really was most amazing to see — Mr. Allison. As Pythagoras said — (At this point Mr. Keith drops off to sleep and mutters some- thing about a periphrastic chasing a supine up and down an in- finitive ' s back, or something like that. ) Mr. Hall (sadly). Wesleyan was never like this. Mr. Allison. As Pythag oras said — Mr. Kern. Well, as Alec Woolcott remarked to me at last night ' s opening — Mr. Warnc. Say. that ' s nothing. Back in the army we used to — Page Fifteen

Page 18 text:

A fearful castigation is the history teachers ration, So get organized or he may lose his head. And though he hates to smile, he ' s a good boy all the while Even if demerits fly like so much lead. But the man who teaches German can discourse to you on vermin, On Sanskrit, irrigation, or dead fish. In fact, what he can ' t teach is beyond the human reach; So ask him any questions that you wish. Each commercial student knows every anecdote that flows From the lips of his old master, word for word. Though their shorthand is the bunk, it ' s impossible to flunk. And a mark of less than ninety is absurd. But gymnastics is the course where the teacher is the boss. For who would tempt a Giant unto wrath? Though we usually cut. those who go do nothing but Demurely tread the straight and narrow path. So the faculty, indeed, is the students ' greatest need. And these fellows surely seem to fill the breach. For without their little lreaks who could stand the endless weeks Ot the dull and dreary classes that they teach? turteen ZJ

Page 20 text:

Mr. Hall. Out in Connecticut when 1 was a boy I went riding on a wagon which had a straw mattress on it. I was smoking — ( He looks around triumphantly, to note with pained surprise that Messrs. Gorsline and Warne have peacefully gone to sleep during the anecdote). Mr. Allison. As Pythagoras said — Mr. Kern (menacingly). I ' m getting sick and tired of hearing about this guy Pythagoras. Mr. Allison (glibly). In a right triangle the square of the hypoteneuse equals the sum of the squares of the other two sides. ( Mr. Kern arises hastily and hits Mr. Allison on the head with a telephone book ) . Mr. Hall. Please pass out quietly. Mr. Merritt (triumphantly snapping shut the case of his alarm watch). Time: (Curtain, very fast, as the teachers make their exit, looking very learned, indeed. ) Pape Si teen