Frankfort High School - Cauldron Yearbook (Frankfort, IN)

Page 32 text:

T II E C A U L D Ii 0 N I told ray woeful talo, likewise did he. “I came of honest stock,” his tale began, “My youth was sweet, but when I came a man I entered politics and lost ray roll Because I couldn’t fool a single sold. I served as secretary to the one Who found the substitute for chewing gum. Ruth Tedford was her name. I soon was fired Because 1 talked so much my jaws got tired. To journalism next niv efforts went; The service of my able pen I lent To Anna Thurman, noted suffragette, Who wouldn’t hold an office on a Bet. My secretaryship brought me much wealth, And so, because of my declining health, I quit my job and bought this fine estate. On mathematics I now concentrate. To square a circle's my ambition now.” I gazed again upon his troubled brow. I realized my duty; ’twas a shame To lead him to the place from which 1 came. But Robert then invited me to dine With him that night, and 1 could not decline. We walked into the sitting room, and there 1 spied tin daily paper on the chair. I took it up; a title caught my eye. It was the column of “Who’s Who and Why”. Julia Davis’s name was printed large Alongside Helen Bartron’s with the charge That they owned chickens which they claimed would lay As many as two eggs on every day. I really couldn’t see just what they meant By putting such a common thing in print. My grandma had a fleet of twenty hens, High class ones, which she kept in whitewashed pens. I used to hunt the eggs, and frequently Returned displaying the goodly number three. Just after dinner Robert Lucas hade Me change my bughouse clothes for some he had. When thus arrayed 1 ventured out of doors To see the sights while Robert did the chores. I saw a carnaval not far away, And went there, wondering what I’d have to pay To see a certain moving picture show, T w e v t y -1 i g Ii I

Page 31 text:

T II E CAUL I) II O N Class Prophecy Tchmdxachomafdx, Uranus, March 3, 5137. To the Editor of the “Xmatlk”, Frankfort, Indiana, U. S. A., Earth. My dear Sir:— As you probably know, the archaeologists, who have for some years been excavating around the site of your admirable city, succeeded last year in reaching the remains of the fifth and oldest city which, 1 believe, was established in the early part of the nineteenth century, and inhabited by barbarians until the time of its destruction by aemxodlk of dskrtk about two centuries later. This terrible catastrophe destroyed all the written records in the city with one exception. In the ruins, of what seemed to be a high school building, was discovered a paper containing the names of the graduates of the year 1!)16. It has been my hobby to study the actions of the genus homo on Earth during the twentieth century, especially in the central part of the continent of North America. It is a remarkable coincidence that in my library of manuscripts of that period I have material which throws light upon the lives of all the barbarians named in the aforementioned list. One unique manuscript, especially, which I have in my possession, contains so much information that. I print it here in its original form. The year is nineteen hundred forty-six. I take my pen in hand to here transfix Tin tale of our famous class of ’sixteen, True, in so far as I have heard and seen. I rest serene within a prison cell And write my contemplations on the wall. The last of men you would be apt to guess As bughouse keeper is quite a success. Our warden, Hansel Smith, is much adored By all the lunatics who with him board. Our matron, Helen Travis, thinks it right To have the inmates dance each Friday night. Last month I came across a sleeping guard, Exchanged our clothes, the massive gates unbarred. 1 ran until I had to stop for breath, And all the time was nearly scared to death. 1 tapped a door to ask a bite of food; It opened, and there Robert Lucas stood; An old man with sideburns a full foot long. His brow was sad—I saw that much was wrong, lie welcomed me with graceful dignity; T w c n t y - s c v e n

Page 33 text:

T11 E CAULDRON The first tent in the whole bright-lighted row. Behind the ticket window, in a chair, Sat Edna Bertram selling tickets there. The crowd was great; I passed unrecognized; And when the film was shown 1 was surprised To find that Mary Flora was the star, Whose stage name was of note both near and far. The second number of the program proved To be a man the public dearly loved. ’Twas Hobert Campbell, famous tra-la-la; He sang his touching solo, Tchee-chi-tcha. The show was done. 1 listened to the band, Then tried to find a nice refreshment stand. 1 spied a dazzling place quite near, And heard a voice 1 was amazed to hear, For Cyril Douglas shouted all the time, “Right here, five cents, a nickle, half a dime.” There leaning o’er the kettle, farther back. Was Leland Wainscott making crackerjack, While Cyril Flanagan took in the cash, Though letting him do this was very rash. 1 introduced myself and asked them where I’d find the owner of this wondrous fair. They pointed out to me a gaudy tent. 1 thanked them kindly and to this I went. On entering I soon became aware Merle Stephens was the owner of the fair. I happened to remark that I had seen So many of the old class of ’sixteen. Miss Stephens told me that I'd be amazed To find how much that same class had been praised. “To keep the class together had been tried, But this could not be done until they died. A certain cemetery was, alas! For the exclusive use of our old class. So when the awful judgment day does come, We all will march together to our doom.” Our talk was interrupted from outside; A crowd was gathered which in unison cried, “O classmate, take us to the home of the crazy, Where we can sit around all day and be lazy, For insanity and laziness, we fear, Were points which chiefly marked our school career.” Alas, I realized it was too true; Tw ent y•nine