Frankfort High School - Capitolian Yearbook (Frankfort, KY)

Page 87 text:

The Cdlpiloliah Tomato-Juice Vic tVictor Ilantal seems to have put, the gear in reverse and is running backwards. Oooh! Meee! While Buttermilk Mike fMike Montgomery! is in the lead, shooting down the sidewalk. Izzie ld. HC. Bell! is gaining! He's second! Now he's a neck behind Buttermilk. This can't last! Here comes George Taylor, literally cutting hogs all around the track. Who's this dark cloud coming? It's Tommy Kernen fairly scopin' around. Two Week Lover tBob Woody is gaining. He is coming toward the front, followed close up by General Cammack lFloyd Cammackj and Hot Water Rat lRat Johnsonl. Mooo! Mooo! Mooo! What's that? Gee, I'm scared. The horses are running to- ward something on Pete's corner. What is it? Mooo! Ugh! Mooo! Can you all hear that noise too? lVIooo! Ugh! Mooo!!! Who is that animal that continues hollering? Are any of the horses sick? They're coming closer now, the horses carrying the Mooer on their backs. XVho is this Wooly Headed Boy? Now, I can see the cause of the uproar. It is none other than Luther from Ver- sailles fDale Duffl. Can you imagine that? Well, he's ruined our derby because being President of the Royal Order of Moose, he has called a meeting of its members and so we leave them all in front of Pete's daintily nibbling pop-lollys. CVVe express our sorrow for the homeless ants. I guess they can live in the do- mestic science room another year.J Martha Jean Brandis P. H. S. Personal Equations A line -lr cards Jr good sport : Bootley Kernen. Stuttering + arguing + childishness : Goofy Darnell. Vamping as food -le seriousness : Mary Elizabeth Brandis. Lying JE a song + energy : Frank Rogers. Foolish questions Jf- chewing gum -E inquisitiveness : Mary Quin. Sweetness 4- dependability H- quietness I Elizabeth Kagin. Charm JV eyes Jr reserve I Emily Settle. A teaser + willingness 4- a laugh : Donald Riester. Silence -P three pals -- a girl I VVestern Furr. Lovableness H- pep -l- Doug : Gladys Campbell. Page seventy-nine

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The Capilolllan Big Doings! 57th Derby for Benefit of Homeless Ants They're off! Who's off? Aw, I dunno--but, ladies and gentlemen, this is Graham Crackers broadcasting the 57th animal Derby at River Downs in Frank- fort, Kentucky. This is station B. E. A. H. on the cupola of Frankfort Hi, broadcasting on a frequency of 800 tricycles to the mile to say nothing of velocipedes. The crowd is immense around the river bank. It is growing larger and larger every minute. Ah! Ladies, stand back! Gentlemen, remove your hats! For here comes the great Chuck Rico, otherwise known as the Clark Gable of Frankfort Hi. Just a minute, writing a few autographs, giving the little girls a big thrill with those flashing brown eyes. Then he passes on while the crowd stands back with awe. Whoops dearie! Here comes Bing Noisy, known to us as the nonchalent Warren Lea. O'h, girls! But he passes without an utter or even a smile, accompanied by Miss Sophia Tucker, who wa.s formerly Darsie Brady. Wha.t's that noise? I didn't know they allowed Hpicaninniesn in this swell place. It must be a mistake. Scanning into the far end of the crowd we find not Cab Callaway but that notorious Mary Elizabeth Brandis, hollering enough to bust a lung. Whats the commotion now? Scram! Just a minute and I'll find out. Ha! The jokes on me! The new arrival is none other than Anne Ford, who gives the appearance of Frankenstein since she says the plastering fell on her. Many other celebrities are also here but I cannot waste my valuable space to list them. Just come up and sit on this spike with me and I'll let you see them too. How about it? In about three minutes the great affair will take place. lVhile the horses are lining up on the sidewalk I will attempt to tell you something about this. This derby is run each year for the benefit of homeless ants. Those participating this year are mostly senior horses from the F. H. S. stables. Usually juniors run but this year most are colts, but a good future is prophesied these undernourished animals. lfnrlernourished we must explain. It seems these colts are fed on healthy caterpillars and fishing worms their first three years. However, when acquiring the fourth year they are privileged with baby mice. Perhaps you know how enjoyable they are? We cannot linger here as the horses are in their respective stalls waiting for the beer bottle to be opened. Sally, owned by Mr. H. G. Jackson, seems uneasy and is stamp- ing around. But, now they are subdued. The cap is off! And with it they're off! Where are they going? I'm sure I don't know and neither do they. l'z.g:1- svvu-iity-1-iglnt

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The Coupllollan Frankfort High School Rogues Gallery Jeanne Parrent alia.s Russell. Crime: Loving a Rat.,' Punishment: To find a Cat. Sarah Bacon alias Sally, Crime: Catching a Miller. Punishment: Life. Inez Lyon alias Fi Fi. Crime: She refused to talk. Punishment: Stay where she is. Henry Craig alias Just Henry. Crime: Disturbing the peace. Punishment: Banishment to North Pole by popular vote. Douglas Sutterlin alias Doug Crime: Robbing a caravan of a Campbell, Punishment: To take care of that Campbell. Thomas Byrley alias Professor. Crime: Reckless driving. Punishment: Slow down Carl Moore alias Snake, Monkey, Jewel King. Crime: Robbing a cradle. Punishment: To the River Road stone quarry. William Montgomery alias Bill. Crime: Inferiority complex. Punishment: To use vanishing cream. Carolyn Rogers alias Has none. Crime: Story telling. Punishment: To win the State Contest. Eleanor Brown alias Jean Harlow. Crime: Disregard of overtime parking law. Punishment: Walk to school-alone. XVilliam Howard alias Billy, Robert Coleman alias Bobby. Crime: Acting like two-year olds and trespassing Punishment: To F. M. I. tPoor Inez.J Teddy Cozine alias Ted. Crime: Breaking hearts. Punishment: To be jilted. Dowling Nicol alias Nick Crime: He plays the saxophone. Punishment: You name it. Herbert .Jackson alias Sally, Hub, Banjo-eyes. Crime: Grand larceny. Punishment: Acquitted. Page eighty 99 on private property.