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Page 30 text:
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The Philomath Page Twenty-eight future student who might be capable of approaching this record. I, Al Polley, leave to any Maine-iac a few hints on how to drive from Portland, starting at 6:30 A.M. Monday and arriv- ing in time for school the same day, and also how to make up the two full nights of lost sleep by the end of the fifth period. I, St. Sleczkowski, leave to Vera Smith my honored but frequently misspelled name, in the hope that she will enjoy the unique title which I am tired of keeping in its original form because of the un- artistic abbreviations given to it by my illiterate and ignorant classmate Polley. I, Nat Gilmore, leave to Philip Ander- son my art of getting Mr. Barham to re- peat a question, including a guarantee that nine out of ten times it won ' t work. I, Bill Robbins, leave the true friend- ship of one whose esteem I hold exceed- ingly high and that is none other than my dear neighbor Harold Anderson to my in- coming kid brother, in the hope that the hinges of this true friendship will never go rusty. I, Peter Lembo, leave to Christy Shee- hy my slight knowledge of philosophy, in the hope that he may be able to think up as many snappy comebacks to embar- rassing questions as I have. I, Warren Crockwell, leave to the Phys- ics department several more parts of my Ford. I found after donating the fly- wheel, a carburetor and two timers that it ran so well that I have finally decided to give up my engine in the hope that dear old Lizzie will run just as well up hill as she does down. I, Roger Clapp, bequeath to next year ' s inhabitants of Room 25 all the parts of the adding machine that are left, and hope that they will treat the poor old thing with due consideration and respect. In witness, whereof, we the illustrious Class of Nineteen Thirty-One, through our crooked and unduly authorized attor- ney, Wilhelm Bellmaus von Hastingsburg, do set out hands, clean and otherwise, affix our seal, and subscribe our signature on this 17th day of June in the year of our Lord One Thousand Nine Hundred and Thirty-One and of the Eighteenth Amendment the fourteenth. God save the Commonwealth of Massachusetts ( from said Junior and Sophomore Classes). (Signed) The Class of 1931 Wilhem Bellmaus von Hastingsburg (Attorney) In the Presence of Al Capone, Al Smith, Al Polley. Valedictory and Essay (Continued from page 16) sea of specialization. Some of us will go to college for the first stage of this voy- age, while others will enter some chosen field of activity and begin the long and difficult task of specializing in that branch of industry. Whether we go to higher institutions of learning or immediately pursue our vocation, most of us will be subjected to untold hardships and will be called upon to make unlimited sacrifices, yet when we have attained the achieve- ment of our ambitions we shall feel that all we have done has been worth the energy expended. Tonight, we, the Class of 1931, embark upon this great sea of specialization. Be- fore us lies a vast expanse of water with all its dangers and perils; beyond lies the reward of achievement. In the many years to come we may shift our course from time to time, but we must not falter. Like Columbus we too must sail on and on and on until we skilfully guide our ships safe- ly into that distant harbor of propitious attainment. Richard Montgomery, ' 31.
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Page 29 text:
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The Philomath Page Twenty-seven hope that future wisecrackers may not have their articles cut in half because of slight misunderstanding on the part of said person. Sixth: We bestow upon Mr. Barham a black eye patch in order that he may im- personate Floyd Gibbons and amuse the American History class when the dry story of the Pilgrims crossing the Dela- ware Desert into Coburnville is taken up. Seventh: To Mr. Magoon this thought- ful class leaves several of its members who found it impossible to graduate be- cause they were forced to spend a good part of their time in said Mr. Magoon ' s office on account of reasons best known to the flies on the walls of said office, if any. Eighth: To Messrs. B. Scanlon and J. Cashman we leave a special set of tools and a large quantity of extra long spikes for the purpose of quickly repairing seats dislodged by the I am strong men (?) such as Kinson, and also to them we leave our deep regret for the proposed addition, assuring them it was through no fault of ours that this extra floor space is to be added, because we shall not profit by it in any way. Ninth: To our beloved and well-mean- ing school orchestra we bequeath two new marches, first, the photographer ' s song, Smile, Darn Ya ' , Smile, second the poison pen victim ' s song Please Don ' t Talk About Us When We ' re Gone, in the hope that they will perfect these as well in the next ten years as they have the good old standby in the last ten years. Tenth: To the School Committee we leave three pounds of grass seed and sev- eral signs to be placed at advantageous points about the school grounds bearing the words. Please Do Not Cross What Is Left of Our Lawn. The signs will serve as monuments for the dead seeds. Eleventh: To Mr. Peterson we leave one chrome steel safe, to be used for lock- ing up his supply of pencils, for we feel that his argument that these pencils are absolutely no good for work other than drawing is somewhat disputed by several members of the said Light Fingered Asso- ciation. Twelfth: To the Philomath we leave a few uncollect able bills with instructions to collect the same if convenient and if not convenient to collect them anyway in the hope that no rubber checks will be received for said bills on account of the much scandal (Note, see Miss Hemen- way ' s dictionary, which would doubtless be involved). The remainder of our last will and new testament will be devoted to the be- queathal of white elephants, et cetera, ad infinitum, from individual members of our low ranking schoolmates. I, Edward Packard Ford Cole, being in the usual frame of mind, leave to my good friend Edith Wale my largest pair of shoes, in the hope that she will not have to dance with tears in her eyes due to improper footwear. I, Gretchen Wyman, being supposedly of thoughtful mind, for once, at least, do bequeath a set of twelve wire puzzles to my contemporary, Marjorie Long, in the hope that she, in entertaining her many boy friends, will make as good use of them as I have. I, Casy Blandin, being sound in body more or less, do bequeath to Charlie Hall my book on plagiarism, which I plagia- rized from one of my friends of equally high integrity. I, Richard Montgomery, leave to my incoming kid brother the sole rights for squeaking the door of room 229, common- ly known as 29, and also several other of my schemes to plague the teachers. I, Betty Button, leave my unquestioned record of talking and whispering continu- ously from 8:25 A.M. to 2:10 P.M. for the three years I have been here to any
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