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Page 14 text:
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12 ii-- old Ford going. It seems that Donald Beaton and John Banda had made a sub- stitute for gasoline out of Evening in Paris perfume and some home-made wine from Albert Sirnonetta's wine cellar. I also learned that the password into this sanc- tuary is three knocks and the chorus of Show Me the Way to Go Homef' I soon left this crowd, for my yearning to wander kept me in no one place too long. As I walked back to my train, I heard the clang-clang of the trolley. I glanced up and there were driver Barbara Mtc- Grath and conductor Therese Healy, look- ing on while Muriel Norton sang the f'Trolley Song. Shirley McKenzie was selling cotton to Eleanor MacDonald and Dora Moeeia, two unfortunates who hadn't ear muffs. I decided it would be safer to walk. I kept on with my travels until I heard a hoarse cry, 'fDraw two. It was James Murphy, owner of the 'fYou've Gotta Have Two Bits to Enter Cafe, drinking his profits for the day. Since you had to be rolling in money to enter this tavern, I decided I wasn't very thirsty. Coming into the center of this flourishing city, I dropped into the park to rest my aching backw and read the Daily Blow, edited by Alden Seltzer and Herbert Raphael, but the park bench was occupied by Walter Haynes and Phyllis Jost, who didn't even see me. Consequently, I hastened back to the crossing and to my open air compart- ment at the bottom of the hog car. I noticed that the railroad crew was busy righting a freight car that had been de- railed. It seems that Torn Donnelly, crew boss, had just finished laying some new track after having read a book called f'The Air Trains of the Futurefl Tom was try- ing to bring the future here by running the track up a banking. There was no harm done, for Tom's crew, which consisted of Jllaleolm Feldman, Robert Flayderrnan, Joseph Palladino and Lorraine Zeller, soon cleared the wreck. I heard later that Lor- THE PHILOMATH raine did most of the work. Along the Framingham-Ashland track was a bill- board which advertised the Patsy Diana racetrack, featuring Pat's world-famous horses. The billboard was one of Ralph Wardropt's, who is the famous artist, with billboards scattered all over the country. From my coach I could also se-e the road leading to Ashland. There was Marjorie Parker, bumming her way to the big city. Up on the hill on my left was a large sign. I quote, 'C 'You are now leaving the United States and entering Tripoli,' Silvio Mer- corelli, Puppet Governor. Passports must be shown to the General of the Province, Sergi Grandonif' I learned later the rea- son it was so hard to gain entrance. Yep, Irene Vitali and Eleanor Nei were the Royal Treasure. Looking to the right, I saw a large gunboat of the Tripoli navy manned by Arthur W alker, who had re- cently been discharged from the service with a rating of seaman second class. He had reached the pension age after twenty years of faithful service. Bud holds the order of the Purple Heart for wounds re- ceived while shaving in action and the Bronze Medal for being able to polish the whole starboard side of the destroyer be- fore lunch. The boat was shelling a canoe filled with Camp Fire Girls. I noticed Clara Woodin, Beverly Stowell and Bar- bara Long among the girls taking an unex- pected swim. Continuing on my way, I reached the city of Holliston. There I left my better half fthe boysl in rather a hurry when railroad dicks Beverly Granville and Arlene Pollard came along with their large billy sticks. The whole town had gone haywire after the World War and had elected all women officials. Albina Pane- rella and Dorothy Pestana were the local dog-catchers, chasing after Beatriee O'Leary's pet wolfdog that had been frightening all the Holliston men. Most of the men had left the town, anyway, after the ladies moved into office. William
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Page 13 text:
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THE PHILOMATH tively, at the wedding of John Del Prete and Vera Buchner. Del and wife now live in Saxonville in a log cabin built by Nello Conti, out of the logs left by the Indians. ljoke, jokelj The stork had visited them not once, not twice, not three times, but BINGO ! four times. Del always did believe in mass production. Five hours later we landed in San Fran- cisco Bay, where I saw Roger Mullen, Thomas Murphy, Gene Oliva, Ray Le- veille, and Richard, Look at My Mus- cles Cassidy, trying to lift a gas hose to refuel the plane. Upon inquiry I learned that the motors to the plane were designed, manufactured, and assembled by James J. Ducey, Jr., and Company. Walking through 'fPiccadilly Parkl' I sighted a familiar stride coming toward me. Sure enough, it was Herb West, who is making the Navy his lifelong profession. I gathered from the apprentice seaman, junior grade stripes on his sleeve that ad- vancements are slow. He explained that he was married to Janey Waters, but un- like the Del Pretes, there were no little Wests. I spent the rest of the day and that night at his home, where I found Lucille Tuttle, his maid, working very hard. From them I learned that Vivian Zeller was now a model for Bob Walton, who owns the largest ladies' undies company in the world. QNice going, Boblj The next day in San Francisco I visited, through a knothole, a baseball game, in which I saw Big Ed Higgins, bat boy for the San Diego Sadies, fighting with Tony Bianchino, bat bo-y for the Detroit Daisies, over who could hit the farthest ball. Big Ed won with an infield fiy over the backstop. just then I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and as I turned around, I saw a figure in a blue uniform. There stood Richard Anderson, now a policeman of the San Francisco police force. The beds in the prison cells in California are really comfortable. Occupying the next cell were Cliff Whitehouse and John Houdinil' -+411 True, whose motto is UA hairpin will open anything. So he found out when he 'fpicked the safe of Jacques Fauteaux, only to find jacques inside with his cool 559999. Therefore, he gave him a penny that had just been manufactured in Tony Cardi's wine cellar. Before too long I was released. Passing through Nebraska on my way East, I saw George Grijjith, now a plumb- er, repairing a water main on Leaky Lane. He informed me that Charles Bryant owned a haberdashery store and that his secretary was Rachael Labazio. The last thing I saw on my journey was Dot, Watch Your Whistle or I Wonlt Wig- gle, Cantall, dancing to the Hindu music of Richard Scanlon, which was being played on a flute made by Mario DiCieco. What did you see of interest on your journey, Bob? Yes, Killer, I also have seen many of our classmates of '45, just a month ago I was traveling on a fast-moving, fifty-car freight train when we suddenly came to a stop. Looking up from my lower, I found myself at the Framingham crossing. There was Fire Chief Steve Durkee arguing with engineer Perry Cacriola about which would move first, the fire engine or the freight train. While this was going on. I noticed that the cause of it all was Amelia Falconi's five and dime store, which was on fire. The matter was settled when Police Chief Malcolm Flood decided to split the train in half. Since my train was to be delayed a few hours, I decided to give the old home town the once over. The first news that came to my attention was that James Burke had just been elected Mayor of Saxonville for the fourth term. He had defeated Louis Axtman by five votes. His hrst act as mayor was to move the High School to Sax or else to move Sax to the High School. Down the road a way there seemed to be another fire, but as I came closer I saw Raymond Bratica trying in vain to get his
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Page 15 text:
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THE PHILOMATH Pinchook and Ernest Tullio, a couple of traveling salesmen passing through, were practically mobbed when Jenny La Penta, Luanne King and Julia Martin spied them. The O.P.A. chairman, Elsie Bianchetti, has put a limit on all available men. Each single girl is given two meat points a week. But Mujey Guerra and Eleanor Fantoni seem to have found a black mar- ket, controlled by Richard Giaccomuzzi and Robert Carlson. What a business! Of course, there were many girls, like Anna Abelli and Carmen Chao, who roped off their men before the rationing had taken place. They are considered hoarders by all the other girls. I decided I musn't stay any longer and Ann Stajield and Florence Woodman, two S.S. women, helped me make my decision. I bummed a ride in an old 1945 Cadillac, driven by William H obin, a factory owner who specialized in using lima beans com- mercially. He first started to make rubber out of them, but his scientists, Wanda Tredi-cucci and Nancy Tomasi, had found a receipt for making toll-house cookies. He offered me a few and dropped me off. I threw them away and broke Irene War- ren's CPlease No Squeeza Da Bananaj fruit store window. I was given ten days by judge Alice Machado. I was thrown into a cell with two lady hoboes, Jean Clin- ton and Ellen Walsh, who had landed in jail when they chased a cop and found later he was a she. Why look, t'Killer, speaking of the 'iBums,,' isn't that they jumping off that freight train? Well, my travels took me all over Amer- ica. Here's the tale of my wanderings. After graduating from dear old F. H. S., I enlisted in the Marines, received my training at the University of N. U. T. tNumerous Useful Techniquesj, was sta- tioned at Leatherneck as secretary to Col. Quentin Sewell and was courtmartialed for being A.W.O.L. As a result I was placed in,f'Running Water, a prison for 13 erring Marines. Here I met Helen 'Slug- ger, Devine, and Barbara, HI Love My Al, but, oh, You Kid, Luby. They told me that they had heard Betty Mahoney speak on f'How to Acquire a Slim Figuref' Her principal exercise for losing weight was turning the head from left to right slowly when a second helping was offered. Joyce Campion was walking back and forth on the stage, demonstrating the result of this process. Dr. John, f'Arf , Henderson told Nancy Clements she had acute pleurisy- she gave him a disgusted look and told him flattery would get him nowhere. They also told me that Priscilla Turner was Presi- dent at UU Demon UQ, where Mary Mc- Grath taught typing and shorthandg Rus- sell Cort was gas man in Utopia. He went to Greeley's home, and when Terry Cowles Greeley came to the door he said he under- stood there was something in her house that wouldn't work. Terry said, Yes, Dick is upstairs. It seems that Dick left the Navy because he was subject to le mal de mer tseasickness J. When my sentence at the Marine prison was finished, I hopped a freight to New York, resolving never more to work. To my surprise I saw Virginia Lowe and Barbara Leslie farther back in the same freight I had chosen. They were on their way to star in John DeGregory's and Sij, Gee, the Third one in on the Left Is Aw- ful Cute, Lebewohl's show, Bloomer Girlsfl Billy Feehely and Jeanne Cross were being widely publicized for their very odd duetg Billy is to play the banjo, while Jeanne executes an unusual ballet step. They said that John My Ideal Is Bennyw Brita was to play Love in Bloom exactly as did his idol. Having reached New York. we disem- barked from our luxurious freight car compartments, bade each other a fond adieu and went our separate ways. As I meandered down Fifth Avenue, I saw a huge red and green sign bearing the words, QContinued on page l5j
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