Fort Meade High School - Fomehiso Yearbook (Fort Meade, FL)

Page 24 text:

Last Will and Testament We, the members of the Senior Class of 1954, realizing that the school building will not be able to survive our presence much longer and that the faculty of Fort Meade High School has become so enervated and debilitated while unsuccessfully struggling to inculcate the incomprehensible as to deserve a rest from their labors, hereby make, publish, and declare this to be our Last Will and Testament. We further declare that we are in possession of all the intelligence we ever had and that we are therefore cap- able of disposing of our possessions. SECTION I To the faculty of Fort Meade High School, we leave our permission to heave a sigh of relief and the heartfelt hope that they may have time to recuperate before tackling next year’s crop of Seniors who, by compari- son with us.are undignified, unsophisticated and irresponsible. SECTION II To the present Junior Class, who can never fill our shoes in spite of their unusually large number of big-footed members, we leave our front-row seats in assembly together with the privilege of having all under-class- men stand in reverent awe while they assume this place of honor. section m To the Sophomore Class we leave six cans of apple polish together with our other secrets of managing the faculty and with the admonition that they could learn a great deal by following our example. SECTION IV To the lowly, unsuspecting Freshman Class, we leave our books on How to Play Games Like the Champions, referring them especially to the chapter on Tiddley Winks and Old Maid. SECTION V As individuals we leave the following bequests with the hope that the articles named will be of real assistance to the fortunate recipients: EDWARD ADAMS leaves his boisterous manner and loud laugh to REECE TAYLOR. TOMMY FAIRCHILD leaves his bottle of henna rinse, the secret of his curly auburn locks, to RICHARD SCHOONOVER in the hope that his improved appearance as the result of its use will enable him to secure a date. MARY LLOYD leaves her ability to keep all the boys guessing to JEAN COLEMAN. LLOYD IVEY leaves his title of Surplus to DOYLE WILLIAMS

Page 23 text:

Another letter of congratulation went to a pair of newly-weds, the Wrestling Champ ion of the World, Awful Ed Adams and his tenth wife, Rosemary Adams, formerly Thomas. Rosemary acts as his manager and keeps the smelling salts bottles filled. I didn’t send a letter to Jungle Jim Pollard, the well-known guide of the Ever- glades. It seems that while leading a hunting party of five chorus girls, he got lost, first time too. Dress designer, Mary Ellen Olive, just came out with a new design in fall dresses, and her co-designer, Patsy Harris, is trying to figure out what to do when they fall. S. E. McDaniel finally gave up trying to grow hair and started a mail order wig company. He uses die slogan, Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow, Buy a Mop-Top and Save the Sorrow, and features a free change of oil with each Mop-Top. (The address is D. W., Mop-Top, WCKY, Cincinnati 1, Ohio.) Sharon Lastinger and Sue Durrance continued their basketball careers and are now A string forwards on the Globe Whooperettes. During the summer, Sue is a dare- devil driver with Joey Chitwood. After being in the last presidential race, George Evans returned to his old job of street cleaner in Fort Meade, working in close harmony with the Police Chief, W. F. Martin. Joan Barnett and her furniture company are featuring Barnett's Bugless Beds, guaranteed to have no bugs in die mattress, in fact, they have no mattresses. Winifred McMillan, originator of Winnie's Wild West Woedeo is featuring a great new act. Alvin Howard rides a Brahma bull into the arena and Dwayne Johnson sits in the audience and shoots the bull. June Wilkes' enthusiasm as assistant oiler on the Bigger Digger VI resulted in its digging itself into the Gulf of Mexico. June now models the latest in diving clothes for Milady, complete with pastel helmets. Betty Graves supervises the G-K Ranch where the most startling news to the Agri- cultural world is the crossing of a Hampshire and a Hereford to produce T-bones and pork chops from the same animal. Well, here comes the chief technician, (none other than the highest paid button pusher in the army, Wayne Cannon). With a sickening grin, he performs his duty! Farewell, Earth ! ! WHOOOSSSHHH ! ! ! Melvin Lamb Class Prophet

Page 25 text:

DWAYNE JOHNSON leaves his pull with the faculty to JAMES BEACHAM in belief that he will need it. MELVIN LAMB leaves his ability to have die tight answer ready for the wrong question to KENNETH HANCOCK. W. F. MARTIN leaves his trusty BIG BEN which always gets him to school on time to BUDDY ROGERS. PATSY HARRIS leaves the address of the Lonely Hearts Club to JOHNNIE MAE TOMP- KINS. SHARON LASTINGER leaves her book on How to Count Your Calories” to ROBERTA STURGIS in the hope that it will help. JOEL SLOAN leaves his championship of the Baptist Church to CHARLES McCUE in hopes that he will find a Methodist to argue with. EARL THOMPSON leaves his seat on the back row of every class to GEORGE GREEN. MARIE ARD leaves her hilarity and her ability to make a good joke out of nothing to DELORES KILPATRICK. JOAN BARNETT leaves her ability to look innocent while being mischievous to JACKIE McDOUGALD. ROBERT BELL leaves his book on How to Keep the Dames at Bay to EDGAR DEAN. WINIFRED McMILLAN leaves her ability to make romatic nonsense sound like a con- versation about Hereford cattle to ZOELLA TUGGLE. S. E. McDANIEL, whose sad experience with hair today, gone tomorrow leaves his bottle of hair restorer to HOWARD MILLER in the hope that using it early and often will help avoid the purchase of a toupee. RICHARD AND GLENDA MULLINS leave their marriage license and their road map of Georgia to LA VERNE HOWZE and KITTY SWARTSEL. WAYNE CANNON leaves his burly, rugged physique and his best red bowtie which helps call attention to the same to FRANK KIMBRIL. JIMMIE POLLARD leaves his football uniform and his position as center to JAMES NEW- SOME. ROSEMARY THOMAS leaves her retiring manner and her shy disposition to WYLENE WILLIAMS. JACK BRONSON leaves his supply of cracked, uncracked and slightly bent jokes to DOYLE POWELL.