Fitchburg High School - Boulder Yearbook (Fitchburg, MA)

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for hairpins at the novelty counter, over wliieh Miss Ileaure anl presided. Hy this time iny nerves were almost nnstrun trom the nmisnal excitement, so I made up my mind to pass the even- ing- at the theater. I arrived during the middle of the first aet, and while perusing- the ])ro ram, which had “Curtis’ Theater” in larg e tvi)e at the head, I noticed that the ])erformance, “The In- noeent Maids,” was under the ])ersonal supervision of Curtis himself. The Caiety Girls sang several of the latest song hits, among which were “ MeCarthy’s Great Home Run,” and ])aro- dies upon the “ Red and Gray.” I complimented the management on being so lueky as to secure such a dazzling bunch of beauties. Here they are: Gaiety Girls — Misses McNamara, Blanchard, Bigelow, Spread- bury, Leahy and Nash, with Miss Murphy as leading lad The next was a little skit entitled “When We Were Twenty- Three.” The following were billed here: Misses Babb (soloist), McKcnne} Nutting, Walsh, Wilkins, Mossman, and Farwell (come- dian). The article on the ])rogram said, “The luimes are enough.” Sure enough they were! At the end of the act the ])ieture ma ' chine started u]). The title of the film was “A Comedy of Er- rors.” The machine whirred, but all that appeared upon the screen was a few stars. These gradually resolved into what seemed to be l)all players. Yes! They were several members of the F. H. S. ball nine of 1906 playing that memorable game with Gardner; the stars that stood out the most prominently were Murphy, t he Midget, Wyman the Giant, and Ford the Fat. It was rightly named “The Comedy of Errors.” This was too mueh. The memory of that inglorious game caused the tears to flow copiously, and I arose and went out, noting as I left that DesRivieres still had the nerve to manage the machine. Upon inquiring for the best hotel in the place, a boy informed me that the Wilder House was the one I wanted. On arriving, the night clerk. Manning, assigned me to Room 13 and tapped the bell. Immediately the “bell hopper” came gliding in and led me to my room. I handed him a ten-dollar note for a tip. “Tanks,” he said, “but you’se oughter make it thirteen to break the hoodoo.” I then knew that he was none other than Ker- shaw, always looking for a little more. It astonished me, I ad- mit, for I expected to see “Bug” nothing less than a Standard Oil magnate. Surprises like this had wearied me and sleep soon 20

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Home.” Imagine m bewilderment when my old friend Crete Kenney opened the door. I was just about to walk in and make myself at home when Crete gave one of her famous screams and hastily disa])peared. Thinking that it was an asylum for lunatics instead of a home for old ladies, I turned to go, but in glancing up at the windows I was shocked to see Misses Beer, Shea, Hol- brook, Carlson, Cutting and Cate, all smiling sweetly. I started on a dead run for the town. Not for mine! On approaching the town I met many of my classmates, who all stared at me blankly, but as none recognized me I kept still and steered for a sign which read, “Briggs’ Barber Shop.” In I went and dropped into the first ehair, over which Briggs himself, in spotless linen, wielded his tonsorial implements. One of the bystanders, who was smoking a T. D. pipe, I recognized as George O’Brien. “How does it happen that you are smoking, George?” I asked. “Well, you see,” he replied, the corners of his mouth fast approaching his ears, “Briggs’ perfumes are somewhat counter- acted by the tobacco fumes.” Briggs, however, had a fine shop, with a number of chairs, around which McDonald and Sawyer were working. As the chair of the latter was near me, I noticed that Carl was not mis- named, for the man who arose from the chair had quite a piece missing from his left ear. Going out, I awoke to the fact that my clothes were all in rags, having been badly torn by the explosion. It did not take me long to head for Fairbanks’ Big Department Store, which oc- cupied the whole of the next block. In the clothing department Greenwood was behind the counter and it did not take him long to suit me. I reached down into my pocket and dug up a piece of gold which I had whittled from the wall of the city of Pro- metheus and tendered it to him in payment. “Greeny” phoned for the proprietor, Fairbanks, who, when he saw the gold, in- formed me that down here gold, being very scarce, was raised in value a thousand times, and congratulated me upon being a mil- lionaire. I saw a great many familiar faces behind the counters, among whom “Bill” pointed out Misses Beauregard, Babbitt, Kelly, Lewis, Leonard, Ewen and Coughlin. The store was crowded, and even in the dry goods department all were not lady shoppers, although “Dinky” Hartwell came in and called 19

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closed my eyes. I dreamed many strange . things that night, among which I beheld Madden and O’Dca playing baseball. They told me they would rather j lay ball than eat, and sure enough they were gobbling up everything in sight. The next day, there being a circus in town, I went to see how they managed such affairs in the middle of the earth. I found it was slightly different in the m mner of production, although the performers were far better. I joined the throng which was hurry- ing up to the ticket seller’s booth. Ah! who was that tall man with black, curly hair, raking in the money ? It needed but one glance to see that it was McCarthy, our class treasurer. There he was, deftly making change, while the crowd surged about the stand. After buying my ticket I happened to walk to the back of the stand, and noticed that his ])ockets were bulging. He was “keeping the change,’’ without a doubt. Farther on a gentleman wearing a large, flashy diamond was extolling the merits of the side show. “Right this way, ladies and gents, to see the great and only living Zip, the what-is-it? and many other freaks too numerous to mention. Right this way, only 10 cents, one dime, takes you all the way through. How many? Three? Ah, thank you, sir!’’ Could this fellow be the quiet, unobtrusive Dole of our school- days? Alas, ’twas too true. Upon entering I found Raymond act- ing as a tent pole. The Maney curiosities were on exhibition, so I proceeded to take them in. First was the $10,000 beauty, as pictured by Miss Quinlan. Needless to say, “Little E va’’ was drawing a large crowd. The second stand was labeled “Lengthy Long,’’ the wonder of the age, whose growth was so remarkable that he now stood ten feet above the platform. I knew, however, that Boland always was “stilted,’’ and that “Lengthy” was reduced several feet after each performance. At the third Stand were the Siamese Twins. He! Lowe! They were up to their old tricks, making eyes at the boys. I was just trying to get near Donahoe, the strong man, about whom w ' ere four men vainly try- ing to lift his hat, when — crash — ! A horse, on which was Mile. Hersom, smashed through the canvas from the main nt and spread confusion throughout the crowd. I made a jump and seized the frightened horse. The lady equestrian then asked me if I would like to view the workings of the circus from behind the .scenes, and as I replied in the affirmative, she showed me to a 21