Farmington High School - Laurel Yearbook (Farmington, ME)

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24 THE LAUREL Future-A news item from a New York paper fifty years hence: N ' Bornities Wins Man a Fortune Mr. Robert White, jr., received 310,- 000 on his life flessj insurance. Mr. White's feet were so wearying that he could not lift them and as a result scuffed them off. He will receive the above named sum of money and, also, a weekly pension of 'two sen'se'. GLENDON HoBBs- Past-Glen has been making a collec- tion of new Ford cars. Was this mania anything like stamp or coin collecting, Glen ?' Present-Y-our fhobby now is Qnotj answering Miss Seeley's questions in English. Future-We expect to see you man- ager of the Franklin County Stock Ex- change. RUTH Moonv Past-Scientists had never heard of your tongue when they said there is no such thing as perpetual motion. Present-Your occupation Cwhen Miss Seeley is awayj is entertaining the junior English class with your clog-dancing. Future-We believe that Ruth will write a biography of King Harold , otherwise known as Reckless Hal . 0 BIRDENA CAIN Past-Birdena was arrested last week for disturbing the peace. This wasn't wholly her fault. It was partly because the guests at her party were so noi-sy. Present-Do you grumble when you have to ride in the rumlble seat? Future-You probably will be at the head of the ' School of Russian Ballet Dancing . HAZEL BRYANT Past-You were quite often so early that the Junior Room was not openf?!j. V Present--Hazel is practicing for a stilt race. Future-You are going to be the fashion critic who will cause short dresses rand high heels to goout of style. KATHERINE GERRISH A Past-Helped Einstein compile his relativity theory. Present-Tutoring some of the Sopho- mores in Geometry. Future-Your regular attendance at school causes us to believe that you will win the prize for non-absenceQ?j during the four year course at this school. PATREACE HALL Past-Was very busy proving that she was Scotch. Present- Tuning out the students UQ who are in the library the fourth period just for exercise. Future-A newspaper clipping from some paper someday, sometime hence: Giant flying submarine finished its around-the-world trip late today. The in- ventor and pilot, Miss Patreace Hall, is much pleased with the performance of her 'pet idea' etc. ELODIA NICKERSON Past-Living up to the vow! Never to copy any themes, etc., unless it is pos- sible to borrow them. Present - Studyingf ?j Physics. Future-Without doubt, you probably will be French instructor at New Vine- yard High School. of GLENDON SMITH Past-Practiced with a fewl com- panions, for an endurance auto-ride con- test. Plresent-Getting used to hearing Mr. Whitney say: Please take your gum out, Smith. Future-Being some kind of a smith . V

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THE LAUREL 23 REMARKABLE SQANDALS REVEALED! ADVICE GIVEN! QUESTIONS ASKED! N making this report we have gone through police records, histories, newspapers, and even the book of the future has been peeped at in the per- spective. We lhope that if anyone's face burns upon reading this, it will be because of a guilty conscience. We, hereby, humbly sulbmit these sad details. NIARION FELLows Past- Look out, Marion, you know that you came very near being sent up be- fore the Student Council for speeding in the corridors f?j. Present-You are hereby warned that you had better clean the chewing gum off your desk. Future-Marion will soon be a star and making a great success in Soft Noises , the hilarious Broadway Night-Club Show. VIRLIE RANGER Past-We wondered if there were any- thing serious about your joy-riding in that Ford Coupe . Present-You had better be careful, Virlieg Christine has been looking at you with the green eyes of jealousy. Is it be- cause you stole her best beau P Future-Ten years from now, you will be making your ninth attempt, in court, to get your eighth husband to pay alimony. HERBERT PRESTON Past-Was some vagrant reminiscence of her the cause of your endless mirth while in school? Present-We advise you not to inhale too much face powder or consume too much lipstick, if you wish to gain weight. Future-Twenty years from now: We will hear that H. Preston has purchased an omnibus to transport his fiance, who is The Fat Lady in the talkie hit, The Scamp and the Fat Woman . SAYWARD Ross Past-We are sure your neighbors closed tlheir windows when you used to practice your five-linger exercises. Present--You are the renowned Paderewski of illustrious F. H. S. Future-Y ou will make a name as the composer of The Lark Comes Home . MARY OTIs Past-VVere you ever jealous of any F airbanksite ? Present-Is the reason for your violin talent because you live near the Devil's Elbow? Future-The most embarrassing mo- ment in your future will be when you make your debut as a concert violinist in Milan, Italy, when you discover that you have left your rosin in Fairbanks. HAROLD KEMPTON Past--Had you only meandered up a certain street you 'd have seen someone mighty like a certain 1'utlzlcs.s' blond. Present-You are the type blondes fall for. Future-You will come down from your airy iheights and 'be our Oracle of Style. DONALD PIERCE Past-A Ford rushed by VV'hirling pedestrians to the sky 3 Who was it? Don Pierce. Present-Tell us the secret of 'being a Sheik. Future-Read in the sports section of the Portland Telegram fifteen years hence: Mrs. Donald Pierce won the Rolling-Pin Contest, throwing the pin 99 yards. Mr. Pierce won the Hundred Yard Dash for married men. ROBERT WHITE, JR. Past-Have you one? Present-Keep away from tlhey are fruthless. tall men,

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- THE- LAUREL 25 BARBARA HEMINWAY Past-Kept up a habit of staying up late to study the starsf?j. . Present-Writing humorous poems for The Franklin Journal . Future-You, Bairbara, will be honored by tihe leading America-n colleges for writing a perfect 'thesis on Shakespeare. DOROTHY PARKER Past-Made a translation of Cicero that was much liked by Latin teachersf U. Present-Lecturing the Freshmen on: Good Behavior and The Science of Fooling the Teachers . Future-You will be haled into court for lecturing your husband in such a tone df voice as to disturb your neigfhbors. A. THOMPSON Past-Studied Physics hard and dis- covered the fact that a lever has a ful- crum, and a weight and a force arm. Hresent--Training for six-day bicycle grind. Future-Will 'probably hold the world's heavyweight boxing champion- sfhip. FRED JACKSON Past-Spent some of his excessive energy acting as president of the class of '31. Present-Cudgels his brain 'daily about how to found a private mail service. Future-Will be president of the West Farmington First National Bank. ALLLSON HOAR Past-'Chauffeured for class president. Present-Acts as the long shortstop for F. H. S. baseball team. Future-Will be president of the Fresh Air Taxi-cab Co., Inc. LAURA LAMBERT Past--Tried to think up a really' good excuse to give Mr. Gilman. Plresent-Singing Did You Ever Hear Pete Go Tweet-tweet-tweet? Future--Will be well received by Parisian critics of bal-let dancing. . ' . .CARROLL HINES Past-Why bring that up? Present-Working at the theatre in hopes of being offered a job acting in the movies. Future-Ten years from now you will be drawing cartoons for 'f The Franklin Journal . FRANCENA WILBUR Past-Studied hard when not gad- ding around. Present- Fizzling 'her time away thinking about the Prom. Future-You will be the first person to make the trip to the moon, and how? ARDEEN MERCHANT Past-Entertained some little Freshie by your antics. Present- Isn't really as funny as it sounds. Future-Only a wizard could tell. MADELYN RICHARDS Past-Spent al-l 'her time studying so that some day she will have time to go to Rumford to a dance. A Present-Makes victims everywhere by her glances. Future-Will -be a popular debutante in New York Society. THELMA CRAIG Past-Received first prize for transla- tion of Une journee a la lune , wrhich she rendered in a typically humorous style-The Day in Havana . Present-Acting as back-seat driver for Glendon Hobbs. Future-Discovered in tihe Popular Science Magazine for June, 1950: A device invented by a young mar- ried woman will no doubt be a great help to women who are bothered by husbands who stay out after midnight.