Farmington High School - Laurel Yearbook (Farmington, ME)

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THE LAUREL 21 whang the sphere and then the old pill would- , Here my uncle stopped me and sorrow- fully admitted that I was right. Truly, he said, this is too much, and as he rose and departed he soliloquized, America must be first in slang. Owen Gilman, '27. .Lk UTOPIA PLUS HAT was this strange town that I had landed in? Everything was as quiet as a mouse. Greetings were ex- changed in subdued voices, steps were meas- ured and slow. Even the children playing in the mud piles had about them an unmis- takable atmosphere of serenity. I proceed- ed along the quiet highway, looking for the number on the house which would indicate that my hostess resided there. At last I found it, mounted the steps and rung the bell. My old classmate herself, answered the bell. I had not seen her for eight years, and I was about to throw my arms about her neck in an impetuous greet- ing, when the strange aloofness in her man- ner stopped me. She greeted me as casu- ally as though I were a customary visitor, and invited me to step into the hall. I did so, and was amazed to find myself confronted with an endless array of cold, marble statues. Suddenly in the midst of my contemplation, imagine my astonish- ment when I looked around to see my hostess calmly standing on her head beside the statue of Daniel Webster! My amazement knew no hounds, but courtesy forbade questioning. We next proceeded to the room assigned me by my chum. ' - She sat upon the edge of the bed indulg- ing in reminiscences in a quiet and subdued manner, not at all the old impetuous chum of our college days. She said she had decided we would go to the theatre that night, whether I wanted to or not. At this point I found myself in need of an extra coat hanger. I asked her if she would lend me one. Imagine my indigna- tion upon receiving this reply: I have one, but I don't feeldisposed to get it for you now. You 'll have to get along with- out it, I guess. I 4 Well, I won't go into details. Sufiice it to say that dinner that night was as if car- ried on in a tomb. Would something never happen to rutile the serenity of this house whose inhabitants were apparently without emotion! The theatre was very interesting that night, but much to my amazement comic in- cidents created no display of mirth, tragedy brought no signs of tears. , Suddenly in the midst of a performance, a young man arose in one of the boxes and began to strum a banjo. No one appeared astonished, and this im- pudent young man was not even asked to leave the theatre. Believe me, I was beginning to have the fidgets. Would I never get out of this place. But the gods were with me this time. Another shock was soon forthcoming. On the way home my chum and hostess said to me: I 'm sorry I asked you to visit me. I wish you would leave in the morning. Well, I was ready to, I assure you. But here a happy thought struck me. An ex- cellent chance to demand an explanation. This I did, and received the following answer: Did you never hear the expression: ' To thine own self be true '? We are fol- lowers of the great philosopher, Emerson. We are living a perfect life as pictured by him. A lady is serene, a gentleman makes no noise. Our houses are filled with cold statutes to inspire us. We do not believe in enthusiasm over trifles, or giving vent to our emotions. We do not indulge in inti- macy of any sort. If you want to do or say a thing, go ahead. Be yourself and then J: , But here I awoke with a start. My worst fears were confirmed. I told Miss Hueston yesterday that if she gave us such wicked assignments in those awful essays, that I 'd have brain fever! ll Caroline Sweet, '26.

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20 THE LAUREL him but in his desk he had a letter and a bill. The letter was from the editor of the New York Sun telling him how well his son was doing and thanking him for rec- ommending such a splendid writer. The bill amounted to twenty thousand and was sent to him by Iack's campaign manager. He did not tell jack about this and gladly paid the bill but his attitude on the value of money remained unchanged. Richard Mallett, '26, xl AMERICA FIRST IN SLANG T was with great pleasure that I sat be- fore the glowing and open fire one eve- ning last week. Such pleasure draws forth its origin from that pleasant tenseness of expectancy. I was awaiting an evening visit from my uncle who was a keen partici- pant in discussion upon matters of interest. Moreover, these discussions were usually bound up in an interesting incident which had sometime or other taken place in his experience. Soon he knocked at my door and we met with a sincere heartiness, for a certain undercurrent of understanding had always held us in mutual bonds which were un- usual. After having inquired as to each other's health and that of our.dear friends, and after bantering had fallen for a more serious course of conversation, my uncle fell into that path of discourse which is, strangely enough, always vitally concerned with thousands of our fellow-men, whether it be criticism or praise. I am ready, said he, to steadfastly uphold the point, that the use of slang has incredibly diminished within the last thirty years. His notice of my rising interest in what he might say caused him to resume his argument after a short meditation. This diminishment of the use of slang has truly been marvelous. Of course, slang is used in a small degree today, but I am greatly convinced that it does not in, any way afford anything detrimental to the public at present, but in a truer sense, it is a well used and discreet manner of en- livening our speech. Furthermore, as an illustration of my argument, I'll give you a sample of the old kind of slang. I-Ie explained that he once went to an old hashery with his father and he aptly gave the following demonstration of slang. Ham and eggs, my uncle has ordered. One Swifts' premium and hen fruit, heave 'em high, yelled the waiter. Roast beeff' my uncles' father ordered. One Texas citizen in the pan, roared the waiter. ' Potatoes, was the next order. Spuds, chorused the waiter. A piece of custard, followed as the next. Slab of custard, sang the waiter.- Blueberry for me, my uncle had said. One bloob for the boob, howled the waiter thru the hall. And this, my uncle concluded, is a fair sample of the slang that is past, thank goodness ! Here I interceded and put forth my side of the argument. Uncle, I said, from what you have just said, I am glad to learn one thing and it is this. I am glad to learn that slang isn't an invention of my generation, but I am greatly ashamed to think that it has been perfected by my age of the race. It is indeed so, however, and please do let me read you this bit of sport news from yes- terday's paper. I found the paper and began reading the following, Baseball is still making day wages. Bum ginks are hooking fifty thous- and berries per year for just sittin' the bench. The umps are sure the pick of the nut factories. Baseball ain't what it used to be when Christy Mathewson used his bean. Today newspaper dope leads the fans into a hope for a wallop out of the lot. In the old days Ruddy Callahan would come up in the ninth, grabbin' the old club with both hooks and face the old pan. Deasie Sullivan would wind up like a taxi-man cranking a cold flivver. Then Ruddy would

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22 THE LAUREL at FRENCH DEPARTMENT an LE SINCE BLANC L y avait pres de Lyons un marchand, qui s'appelait Monsieur Jean Roberts. Il s'occupait aussi de la culture des ani- maux, et surtout des singes. Un jour il partit pour la ville et emporta avec lui tout son argent pour acheter un singe de Paclia, dont il avait entendu parler. Mais quand it arriva a Lyons, il trouva que le singe n'etait plus la, parce-que quelqu'un l'avait deja achete. Tres bien, tres bien, dit jean, je n'aurai qu'a retourner chez moi. Heureuse- ment la route n'est pas plus longue en reve- nant qu'en allantf' Au bout de quelques heures il apercut un homme qui etait debout it cote d'un automobile. C'etait un Ford. Comme Jean se sentit un peu fatigue, il aclieta le Ford pour quatre cent francs. Il monta dans son vehicule en ecriant, Va ! Mais le Ford ne bougea pas un pas. Il parla, pria, jurag ce fut en vain. Il le tira par le de- vant, il le poussa par le derriere, il le battit de tous les cotesg mais l'automobile resta dans la poussiere comme un mulet dans un cirque. I1 commengait a se clesoler quand un homme passa devant lui, en menant une vache. Voila ce que je desire, dit jeang j'- aime mieux cette vache si gaie et si vivante que ce stupid Ford ! Et sur le champs il changea le Ford contre la vache. Tout alla bien pendant une heure. La mademoiselle 21 longues cornes menait Jean pendant quelque temps, et Jean riait. Plus tard il rencontra un homme qui portait un coq, et changea la vache contre le coq, tant il etait fatigue. Le coq etait un mauvais compagnon. Il n'etait pas une chose facile a porter, il se defendit du bec, des pattes, et des ailes si bien que Jean etait content quand il apercut un homme qui mena un singc gris. Jean emporta le singe chez lui. Combien l'as-tu paye? Lui clemanda sa femme. Jean reflechit. Puisque j'ai paye quatre cent francs pour l'automobile, et puisque ce singe-ci, c'est tout qui m'en reste, c'est que je l'ai paye quatre cent francs. Sa femme haussa les epaules et lui dit: Bien! Dissipc ton argentg jette-le au vent suivant ton habitude! jean leva son singeg et comme il etait surpris en trouvant que le singe etait blanc - blanc comme la neige. Un jour un vicomte s'arreta devant la porte du marchand. Il voulaift acheter un singe pour sa filleg et quand il apercut le singe blanc, il le paya au marchand dix cent francs. Jean dit a sa femme: Main- tenant j'acl1eterai un Ford, et j'apprendrai it le faire marcherf' Norman H odgkins, '26. 11.1 MON AMBITION 1Traduit d'un theme ecrit pour la classe d'anglaisJ N mon enfance, j'avais le desir de devenir une laveuse de la vaiselle dans un grand hotel. J'ai apercu la C0l1f0l'l1llte c1'une telle po- sition beaucoup de fois et c'etait sur la premiere occasion de faire ainsi que la premiere pensee de mon ambition m'est venue. Sans doute, les qilites qui me gagneront du succes sont: de la Vitesse, du sang-froid, une capacite rapide pour calculer, une con- naissance legere des mathematiques et surtout un esprit cfintegrite profonde et perpetuelle. Ces qualites, avec des autres trop nombreuses pour raconter sont, neces- sairement incorporees dans une laveuse de la vaissaille parfaite. L a l