Fairhaven High School - Huttlestonian Yearbook (Fairhaven, MA)

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THE HUTTL.E ETONIAN 23 seen indulging again. The garage or barn remains Junior’s only sanctuary as he follows the course of growing up pre¬ scribed by boys his senior, until his irate but docile parents be¬ come consoled to their son’s new fad. And here my knowledge hits a low ebb. If I must stick to facts and retain the truth maintained throughout this reve¬ lation, it is necessary that I confess my ignorance, beyond this stage in the evolution of the male. This lack of infor¬ mation may be attributed to the fact that I have come into intimate contact with no males other than those of my immed¬ iate family (about whom I cannot write unbiasedly) who have advanced beyond that period of masculine development last cited. To you, who have waded through this treatise, I have in¬ adequately presented some of the highlights in the existence of the American male, from birth to the ripe age of seventeen or eighteen years. Thus we shall leave him, and trust to per¬ sonal experience and more able portrayers to fill in the gaps and consummate this insufiicient picture. A Thought Jean McKoan I believe This day will be The best there is for you and me. I hope Tomorrow’s sun Will bring an even happier one. I love Each day of life Filled more with peace and less with strife. I know Faith, hope, and love Will lead to days in Heaven above.

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22 THE HUTTLESTONIAN About this time, Junior becomes imbued with his first love. This fact is manifested by an increase in heretofore un¬ known occupations. Soap, an evil of civilization, becomes a weapon in the war of devotion. He applies himself to the frus¬ tration of previously unruly hair, obtaining helpful hints in regard to his coiffure from prominent stars of the cinema. He assiduously removes the traces of mourning from beneath his fingernails. There is an awakening interest in clothes pre¬ viously disregarded. The lad may even attempt to dash off a few bits of romantic poetry. Though Junior feels that this is undying devotion, his elders are apt to give it the degrading label of puppy-love.” It is now safe to view our subject as he wends his weary way through high school. By the time he is a sophomore, if he is a manly sort of fellow, he will have found the silky traces of what promises to become a beard. This weighs heavily upon his mind, until he has finally gone through the important procedure of shaving. As he descends from the bathroom, to which he furtively ascended, his ears are pricked for the amazed cry, Why, Junior, you’ve shaved!” But no such cry is forthcoming, and he sits down dejectedly, careful to remain in full view of all. It appears as though no respect is to be paid to this daring feat, and the youth is just about to timidly men¬ tion the event when his father glares over the top of the news¬ paper and grumbles Quit using my razor!” That is all, but a grave injury has been inflicted on Junior’s masculine pride. He silently vows to avenge this disregard by growing a long, black beard in order to shock the conservative neighbors and shame his belittling parents — not taking into consideration the amount of time necessary for him to accomplish so prodi¬ gious a stunt. The cruel slight afforded him by this humiliation is but little in comparison with that which he receives when first he enters the house nonchalantly puffing at a recently acquired pipe. This time, parental authority takes form in more of a slam” than a slight, and a lecture on the evils of narcotics is promptly delivered to the frightened and bewildered youth by an aroused household. The harms are made more emphatic by the dire threats of what will happen to him if he is ever

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24 THE HUTTLESTONI AN Satire Shirley Kanter You can never tell about a woman; you shouldn’t anyhow! There were just as many careless drivers thirty years ago, but the horses had more sense. A pedestrian is a man whose son is home from college. She called her husband ' ' Theory”, because he so seldom worked. The car to watch is the car behind the car in front of you. EXiplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. When a woman talks about her past she’s confessing; when a man does he’s bragging. Half the world does not know how the other half lives, but it has its suspicions. As nearly as one can analyze, George Bernard Shaw has outlived the time for which he was born too soon. War does not determine who is right — only who is left. The father of six children bought a daschund, so all six children could pet him at once. We have a head on us for the same reason that a pin has— to keep us from going too far. Epitaph: The tomb monument of a certain genial host bears his name and the inscription This is on me.” SLIPS THAT PASS IN THE WRITE A corps is a dead gentleman, and a corpse is a dead lady. Inertia is the ability to rest. A martyr is a pile of wood set on fire with a man on top. A sinister is an old maid. Nero was a cruel tyrant who used to torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them. There were no Christians among the early Gauls — most of them were lawyers. Just before Nathan Hale was hung, he said, Give me liberty or give me death.”