Fairhaven High School - Huttlestonian Yearbook (Fairhaven, MA)

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THE HUTTLESTONIAN 25 They turned, and seeing the officer, they surrendered. The policeman “did his duty” and with Lareau’s aid, led the old man to another place of residence. We remained behind to question the old lady as to their motives. “O,” said she. “Dat Lareau he ruin de delicatessan trade wid his sniff concerts, so we stop heem.” “So I supposed,” said Murdock. “But why was your husband greasing the aerial?” asked I. Murdock answered me, “To make the cheese slide off more easily. Am I right?” The woman nodded. Murdock smiled triumphantly. Where¬ upon, he snatched a bouquet from a vase and humbly presented it to himself. FREDERICK MOSS and WARREN PAGE, ’27. The cross-word puzzle is an intensively rectangular but essentially heterogeneous concatenation of dissimilar verbal syn¬ onymic similitudes, replete with internal inhibition , yetj promulgating extensive ratiocination and meticulously designed to promote fulminative vituperation, dispel hebetudinesity and develop speculative, con¬ templative, introspective, deliberative and cogitative faculties. “Twin Mutual Insurance Topics”

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24 THE HUTTLESTONIAN “I suppose you are used to such odors,” said Lareau, “consider¬ ing that you lived on Water Street, New Bedford, Massachusetts, for so many years.” “That is exactly the reason,” returned Phones. “And if you gentlemen will leave me to think, I will be much obliged. Be sure to return to-morrow evening. And Lareau, you bring an officer to arrest whoever my “radio dog” runs down.” And the street door slammed shut, silently. Lareau, a policeman, and I appeared next evening to see what the “radio dog” might be. “This is Radio Rex,” said Murdock, as he produced a wire-haired terrier. Every hair was a miniature aerial, while on; his back was strapped a miniature expec-to-dyne set connected to an ear-phone muzzle on his nose. Soon the dog yapped. A spark jumped his ear to his tail. Every wire hair stood on end. Then as he took the scent, he disappeared down the street, nose skyward, and Murdock skidding along at the end of the leash. We followed at top speed and in a cloud of dust until we arrived at a picket fence behind which Murdock, or rather Rex had stopped. By peering over the fence we managed to discern the back of a delicatessen store. A clothes line was strung about the yard. Nothing happened, so we climbed the fence and waited, some in patience, others in bushes and shrubs. Time passed as it does occasionally. The dog whined like a shrapnel, but Murdock managed to silence him before he burst. Finally, an old Dutchman rolled out of the house and com¬ menced to grease the clothes line. Silence reigned. It reigned so hard that I cut out a chunk and threw it at Murdock to attract his attention, He frowned. “I suspect that that clothes line is an antennae,” communicated Murdock by mental telepathy. “Do tell,” I sent back. Soon the old man rolled back into the house. We followed. Murdock and the policeman produced their handy Kilgore revol¬ vers. We advanced rapidly down a hall into a room at the end. So silently had we come that the Dutchman and his wife had not heard us and continued to feed cheese into a broadcasting set.

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26 THE HUTTLESTONIAN Visitor at Hospital—“Is Mr. Mur¬ phy in?” Hospital Attendant—“Yes, he’s con¬ valescing now.” Visitor—“Very well, I’ll wait.” —Selected The office boy rushed into the boss’s office with his hat on one side of his head and shouted, “Hey boss! I want to get off to go to the ball game.” “William,” said the boss, “that is no way to ask. Sit here at the desk and I will show you how. You pretend you are me.” He went from the room and re¬ turned with his hat in his hand, say¬ ing, “Please, Mr. Smith, may I go to the ball game this afternoon?” “Sure,” said Billy, “here’s fifty cents for a ticket.” —Life. Porter—“Where’s yo’ trunks, sah?” Salesman—“I use no trunks.” Porter—“But I thought you wuz one of these traveling salesmen.” Salesman—“I am, but I sell brains, understand? I sell bra ins.” Porter— Excuse ime, Boss, but youse the first travelin’ fella that’s been here who ain’t carrying no samples.” —Selected. For hours they had been together on her front porch. The moon cast its tender gleam down on the young and handsome couple who sat strange¬ ly far apart. He sighed. She sighed. Finally: “I wish I had money, dear,” he said, “I’d travel.” Impulsively she slipped her hand into his; then, rising swiftly she sped into the house. Aghast, he looked at his hand. In his palm lay a nickel. —Jester. Fifty—“Is the pleasure of the next dance to be all mine?” Twenty—“Yes, all of it.” —California Pelican. A hungry traveler put his head out of a car window as his train pulled up at a small station and said to a boy:— “Here, boy, take this dime and get me a sandwich, will you? And by the way—here’s another dime—get a sandwich for yourself, too.” The boy darted away and returned munching a sandwich just as the train was starting off. He ran to the traveler and handed him a dime and said: “Here’s your dime back, boss. They only had one sandwich left.”