Fairhaven High School - Huttlestonian Yearbook (Fairhaven, MA)

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20 THE HUTTLESTONIAN She—How much will you charge to treat my sick cat? Veterinary—Ten dollars. “Ten dollars what?” “Ten dollars purr.” —Nebraska Awgwan. A tramp knocked at a kitchen door and said: “Please, kind lady, I’m a sick man. The doctor gimme this medicine but I need something to take it with.” The woman was ready to help. “Poor fellow,” she said, “do you want a spoon and a glass of water?” “No, mum. I wouldn’t trouble you, but this medicine haster be took after meals. Have you got a meal handy?” •—Judge. Jack—I know a fellow who ate beef all his life and grew strong as an ox. Jane—That’s nothing, I know a man who ate fish all his life, and couldn ' t swim a stroke. ■ —Punch. “What time am it, Sam?” “My time-piece says two o’clock.” “What? Ah reads a quatah ob eight!” “Well, ain’t that two?” —Eroth. “Do you like wax beans, Harriet dear?” “Yes’m, I like all kinds of beans ex¬ cept corn and asparagus.” —Life. Student—I shall live by my wits. Professor—Why die so young? —Lampoon. “Why, John, have you my picture in your watch?” “Well, Helen, I thought perhaps you might love me in time.” —Brown. Helen—Don’t you think that a girl should love before twenty? Uncle—I should say not; that is too large an audience. —Life.

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THE HUTTLESTONIAN 19 Eulogy on Our First Football Defeat (With Apologies to Daniel Webster.) B ROTHERS: ’Tis a solemn occasion which causes us to be brought together at this time. Alas, the time has come when the same feeling of misery fills all our hearts. Through pride we have not shown it, -but it is there. We played the game and lost. That is nothing to our discredit, however, for a good defeat is better than a poor victory. At first we were certain of winning. The goal was nearly reached, but three times we were thrown back. After that things were uncertain; vain attempts were made to regain lost ground. We are capable of doing the best. This is the first time such a thing has come into our lives and we solemnly swear it shall never happen again. If only they will keep their faith in us, we will show them the stuff we’re made of. Brothers, we are of a mutual sympathy and although time will erase from our memories the thought of this terrible catastrophe, we go our ways with heavy hearts. Let our object be our team, our whole team, and nothing but our team. And, by the blessing of God, may that team itself become a vast and splendid monument, not of oppression and terror, but of wisdom and victory, upon which the world may gaze, with admiration, forever! M. D. T., ’24. FACULTY (Concluded from Page 18) Julie Plante” that quite moved the audience to tears of laughter. Of quite a different nature was the entertainment for the Fairhaven pedants held in the evening of October 10th, when Mr. Alton Pauli gave an organ recital in the Memorial Church. The music would have been beautiful anywhere and in such a church with its exquisite carving and the stained glass window emerging softly from the dark¬ ness, it was something more. After the recital, the Allen Class of the Church invited the teachers into the Parish House where refreshments were served, and an hour spent in general sociability.

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THE HUTTLESTONIAN 21 Teacher—Johnny you stay after class to-night! Johnny—All right. Teacher—Why is it that you can be so much better outside of class than you are in class? Johnny—That’s just what I was thinking about you! —Life. Pat—Phat time was it when that Ford jumbled by last night? Mike—About tin after tin! —Life. He—Do you like Kipling? She—I don’t know; I’ve never tried it. How do you kipple? —Princeton University Press. The school phonograph had just fin¬ ished a selection by two famous opera singers, and the teacher said: “Now, children, who can tell me the names of the singers we have just heard?” “Caruso,” replied one boy. “Yes. And who was singing with Caruso?” “His man Friday,” was the discon¬ certing answer. —Boston Transcript. “I saw a human fly yesterday.” “Where?” “On the screen, of course.” —Yale Record. “Why do you turn out for every road hog who comes along?” she asked rather crossly. “The right of way is yours.” “Surely,” said her husband, calmly, “but my reason is suggested by an epitaph I recently saw: “ ‘Here lies the body of William Jay, He died maintaining his right of the way; He was right, dead right, as he sped along; But he’s just as dead as if he’d been wrong.’ ” —The Automobilist. Teacher (discussing in a Virgil class the disguise of Cupid as Ascanius, calls on someone). Pupil—Did you call on me? Teacher—No, Cupid! •—Fairhaven High School. The budding orator of the Sopho¬ more class began: “I pause to ask myself a question.” Senior (disgusted)—“Don’t, you’ll only get a fool answer!” —Fairhaven High School. The Freshman was new at sailing and had a severe case of seasickness. He lay in his bunk all day on the verge of dispondency. At last his mates de¬ cided something must be done imme¬ diately. One of them, therefore, rushed to his cabin, crying, “Your father is dead!” The Freshman turned over and mur¬ mured, “Lucky dog!” —Selected. History teacher—What can you tell me about Papyrus? Brilliant pupil—He’s a Jewish poet visiting the United States! —Fairhaven High School. The small delivery boy was deliver¬ ing to a new customer and had en¬ countered a huge dog in the yard. “Come in,” said the lady, “he doesn ' t bite.” The boy still hung back. “Does he swallow?” he asked. —Ufe.