Fairfax High School - Guardian Yearbook (Fairfax, MO)

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.sniofz Clfass' fD'ZOl1EECy The graduating classof Fairfax High School hav- ing conglomerated their genius and intellectual ability have perfected a scientific gadget they call their Time Machine . The Seniors are placed in the sending room and Mr. Fraser is at the'controls. He sets the year indicator at l964 and turns on the juice. We hear a slight hum and now we are off. What was that that flew by? Why, it's the new flying principal of F.H.S., Gary Massie. We hear they have a new school system since he took over a year ago. You go to school 2 days a week and have 5 days' vacation. What is that large black spot down there? Did he really do it? Oh, No! Thank goodness, for a minute we thought Dwain Willis had carried out his daily threat to burn down the school house. There flows the mighty Tarkio River, and if it isn't Dwain in person. He's joined the navy, and we see him scrubbing the deck as he cruises down the river in his old tin tub. We also see that the guns are con- stantly pointed at dear old F.H.S. Look ! What's that speeding down Highway 275 at 150 miles per hour? lt's Marion Ray, driving for the Sly, Carter and Ray truckline. Hope the space patrol doesn't catch up with him. Who's in that Hot Rod that just passed Marion? lt's Clifford Kerns, and looks as if he is speeding towards the Indianapolis Speedway. He's been the winner for the last nine years. Wonder who lives in that farm house there along the side of the road? Let's go see what it says on the mail box. McEneney, that name sounds familiar, and get a look at the kids. Why, there's a dozen of them. Let's gp talk to their mother, the former Mary Ann Grindstaff. Seems as though she thinks they're cheaper by the dozen. We see the Fairfax Forum has a new addition, a comic strip, and the artist is none other than Bill Dunkle. Seems as though the GRADS like his Way Back When section best. They also have a new fashion shop in town and it looks like they have some of the newest fads from outer space. Wonder who the designer is? Why, it's Marjorie Thomson and she has just come back from a fashion show on Pluto where her most famous model Bertha Plumblwad modeled all of Earth's new- est and most expensive clear plastic space suits and helmits. We sure would like to have seen that fashion show. Let's see what's happening at the school house. Well, looks like we've arrived just in time for the commencement exercises of the graduating class of I964, and look who the speaker is. . . it's another one of our former classmates, Professor George Rich- ard Green of Bugaboo College. Let's take a little drive in the country. Out about 3 miles from town we come to the push-button farm of Frank Pierce. Frank sits around pushing buttons and his work is done. They say he is grow- ing fat and lazy. A Seems as though they have a T-V station here now and are putting on some very good pograms. Let's go see what's on now. Say, that comedian is funnier than Red Skelton, wonder who it is? Why, it's Bill Walker, the comedian of the class. Looks like he's doing pretty well. There's a concert in the park tonight. Wonder who the music director is? Why, it's Richard How- ell, the visiting celebrity, concert pianist of the Met- ropolitan. He is currently on tour in the Middlewest. Who's this sharp looking young naval officer com- ing down, the street? Why, it's none other than our own Joe Ed Straub. He has been in for I0 years now and is going for 20. We hear Evelyn Carter has married some rich oilman from Texas. They just sit around counting that filthy green money they get for their oil and also taking trips back to Fairfax every week-end. Our timer indicates we'll be leaving soon, so we will take one last look at Fairfax and old F.H.S. and leave, and as we fly over the Rocky Mountains, we see high up on Pike's Peak a huge brick building. The sign on the front says, Home for Young Bach- elors, and the proprietors are Marlene Cundall and Theresa Wynn. Looks like they have a lot of business. Our atom supply is exhausted and it's time to get back down to Earth. Q-.J age twenty l: airjcax l-liglw School Ugulldog

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