Fairfax High School - Guardian Yearbook (Fairfax, MO)

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.sniofz Clfass' fD'ZOl1EECy The graduating classof Fairfax High School hav- ing conglomerated their genius and intellectual ability have perfected a scientific gadget they call their Time Machine . The Seniors are placed in the sending room and Mr. Fraser is at the'controls. He sets the year indicator at l964 and turns on the juice. We hear a slight hum and now we are off. What was that that flew by? Why, it's the new flying principal of F.H.S., Gary Massie. We hear they have a new school system since he took over a year ago. You go to school 2 days a week and have 5 days' vacation. What is that large black spot down there? Did he really do it? Oh, No! Thank goodness, for a minute we thought Dwain Willis had carried out his daily threat to burn down the school house. There flows the mighty Tarkio River, and if it isn't Dwain in person. He's joined the navy, and we see him scrubbing the deck as he cruises down the river in his old tin tub. We also see that the guns are con- stantly pointed at dear old F.H.S. Look ! What's that speeding down Highway 275 at 150 miles per hour? lt's Marion Ray, driving for the Sly, Carter and Ray truckline. Hope the space patrol doesn't catch up with him. Who's in that Hot Rod that just passed Marion? lt's Clifford Kerns, and looks as if he is speeding towards the Indianapolis Speedway. He's been the winner for the last nine years. Wonder who lives in that farm house there along the side of the road? Let's go see what it says on the mail box. McEneney, that name sounds familiar, and get a look at the kids. Why, there's a dozen of them. Let's gp talk to their mother, the former Mary Ann Grindstaff. Seems as though she thinks they're cheaper by the dozen. We see the Fairfax Forum has a new addition, a comic strip, and the artist is none other than Bill Dunkle. Seems as though the GRADS like his Way Back When section best. They also have a new fashion shop in town and it looks like they have some of the newest fads from outer space. Wonder who the designer is? Why, it's Marjorie Thomson and she has just come back from a fashion show on Pluto where her most famous model Bertha Plumblwad modeled all of Earth's new- est and most expensive clear plastic space suits and helmits. We sure would like to have seen that fashion show. Let's see what's happening at the school house. Well, looks like we've arrived just in time for the commencement exercises of the graduating class of I964, and look who the speaker is. . . it's another one of our former classmates, Professor George Rich- ard Green of Bugaboo College. Let's take a little drive in the country. Out about 3 miles from town we come to the push-button farm of Frank Pierce. Frank sits around pushing buttons and his work is done. They say he is grow- ing fat and lazy. A Seems as though they have a T-V station here now and are putting on some very good pograms. Let's go see what's on now. Say, that comedian is funnier than Red Skelton, wonder who it is? Why, it's Bill Walker, the comedian of the class. Looks like he's doing pretty well. There's a concert in the park tonight. Wonder who the music director is? Why, it's Richard How- ell, the visiting celebrity, concert pianist of the Met- ropolitan. He is currently on tour in the Middlewest. Who's this sharp looking young naval officer com- ing down, the street? Why, it's none other than our own Joe Ed Straub. He has been in for I0 years now and is going for 20. We hear Evelyn Carter has married some rich oilman from Texas. They just sit around counting that filthy green money they get for their oil and also taking trips back to Fairfax every week-end. Our timer indicates we'll be leaving soon, so we will take one last look at Fairfax and old F.H.S. and leave, and as we fly over the Rocky Mountains, we see high up on Pike's Peak a huge brick building. The sign on the front says, Home for Young Bach- elors, and the proprietors are Marlene Cundall and Theresa Wynn. Looks like they have a lot of business. Our atom supply is exhausted and it's time to get back down to Earth. Q-.J age twenty l: airjcax l-liglw School Ugulldog

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.mlm 311. A CZZM flfllfl' We, the Senior Class of l954 of the Fairfax High School of Fairfax, Missouri, County of Atchison, State of disillusion, having come to our last hours of sane mind, and in peace with all the world, do hereby give, bequeath and devise all our goods, traits, and possessions to the following beneficiaries, to-wit: To the high school teachers in general we will a new supply of patience to replace that which we have caused them to lose. And to Mr. Fraser, an ener- getic annual staff and a printing press iso he can print his own annuall. To the coaches, Mr. Barg- man and Mr. McVay, we will an oversize bottle of Hadacol for the players and a box of nerve pills for themselves. To Mr. Swain we will a large traffic light to be set in the hall between classes. We will to the everfaithful cooks a whole year's supply of honey, beans and peanut butter. Lastly, as a class, we bequeath to the Juniors, to be disposed of as they see fit, all the tears shed in exams and all wrong answers set down in times of weakness. To former classmates, Dayton Owens, Robert Templeton, Pam Taylor, Joyce Matlock, Donna Thies- feld, Johnny Barger, Albert Lee Jones, and Charles Gaukel, we will a host of fond memories of their pleasant days at old F.H.S. Marlene Cundall wills her I5 colors of finger nail polish and 47 pairs of earrings to Ruth Swinehart and Charlotte Hayes respectively. To Wynona An- derson goes her ability to get along with everyone. Evelyn Carter wills her fondness for Rock Port and Tarkio to Carolyn Frohn and Phyllis Henson. Billy Dunkle wills his bow legs to Melvin Sey- mour and his perfectly good, and yet-to-be-used speech ,book to Larry Fair. Don't wear it out, Larry! Richard Green wills his place on the honor roll to Beverly Jorgensen. To Sybil Sims goes his mus- ical ability, and to Eddie Davis his peculiar trait of having his finger in every pie, and to Jack Kruse goes his ability to study. To Charlotte Hayes goes his position as editor of the annual. Mary Ann Grindstaff bequeaths her ability to unhook speedometers to Barbara Ball. Make use of this, Barbara, might come in handy sometime! To Corky Norton goes Richard HoweIl's little black book, How to Become a Kleptomaniac in I0 Easy Lessons. His other little black book full of addresses and phone numbers goes to Dallas Anderson. Clifford Kerns bequeaths his joke book to Eddie Plumb, and his ability to play basketball to Dale Faulkner. Let's use that to win some ball games next year, Dale! Gary Massie wills his ability to chew gum and not get caught to Melvin Seymour, and his l5O makeup slips to David Gubser. Frank Pierce wills those wild hair cuts to Jack Kruse and his position as President of the F.F.A. to Donald Kemerling. Bertha Plumb gives her quiet disposition to some- one well able to use it, Barbara Ball, and her perfect 36 to Anna Faye Smith. Marion Ray bequeaths his good looks and way with the gals to Larry Fair, and his convincing man- ner he uses when begging Mr. Fraser for an excuse to Corky Norton. Joe Ed Straub wills his place on the track team to Eddie Davis, and that cute giggle to Sybil Sims. Marjorie Thomson and Theresa Wynn will their places in the U.P.T.K. Society to Sue Whitford and Carolyn Lamphier. Their places in 85 M.P.H.'ers to Carolyn Frohn and Ruth Swinehart, and places in the U.W.W.W. to Beverly Jorgensen and Anna Faye Smith. Seems strange they haven't joined the Ku Klux Klan. If the lucky recipients of these places in these fine and upstanding organizations will ask their generous givers as to the meaning of the sym- bols, they will gladly tell them what societies they now belong to. Don't be too shocked girls! Bill Walker wills that dry humor and Bugs Bunny accent to Dale Faulkner and Dallas Anderson. Lastly, Dwain Willis wills his cigarettes and comic books to Jack Kruse. Just don't let Fraser see you with them, Jack! Hereunto have we set our hands and seal with the understanding that this will and testament is to stand stalwart against all attacks and ravages of time or change ..... S-J Rlinefe-en l-lundreol anal ln-:lftu-li-our a s Ilfllifiill 3

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6.-G C-A ,. U ' ' ED V 'ge 2: .. 0 O T lc. R o gs ff' 'U fr: sf'- av . G S5 F 1. 'U '1 Go 0' 0 C 2 ' n, Qu f' f mf 'D o irwefeen 1-4urwJ1'eJ anal EiPfq'l:oIJv' CLASS OFFICERS PRESIDENT ..... ................ VICE-PRESIDENT ............ SECRETARY AND TREASURER SOCIAL CHAIRMAN ...,..... . . SPONSOR ......... MELVIN SEYMOUR .... EDDIE PLUMB PHYLLIS HENSON .. BARBARA BALL MRS. W. F, SWAIN fungi: fu 'full 1 r