Essex District High School - Argus Yearbook (Essex, Ontario Canada)

Page 97 text:

Dear Auntie Freeze: We would like to know if a method has boon found of chewing gum in school and enjoying it without being caught by a certain English teacher whose initials are L. F. H. and who gives you an unknown and undesired punishment if you arc unfortunate enough to bo caught at it throe times Ann and Donna Dear Ann and Donna: . - If 1 werG y° u 1 would give this ' ' chewing gum fiend a package of ngloy’s spearmont gum and also give him a free demonstration of how to chow the stuff--thcn maybe ho will agreo how good it is. If this doesn ' t work, then maybe you had better find another form of entertain- ment during English class. Dear Auntie Freeze: Wo want a fool-proof way of getting revenge on fellow oupils who tease us about certain individuals when wo simply loath these ' certain individuals. Would you ploase suggest something? Sophie, Mary Ann and Carol T. Dear Sophie, Mary Arm and Carol T.: This sort of thing is quito common inside our brick-covcrod walls. Most people retort with cutting remarks or just laugh it off--if thoso don ' t wo no, I think it may be wise to consult a real expert on such problems. —- Dear Auntie Freeze: What do you do with thoso awful teachers who won ' t lot you leave the room to fix your hair and face when it is in dire need of repairs? Please give us some suggestions. Kathy and Carol H. Dear Kathy and Carol H.: In my opinion, thoso teachers are positively horrid not to allow ou to bo excused. I would certainly fix their position by coming to school some morning minus your make-up and your hair in curlers. ’That will fix ' omj Dear Auntie Freeze: We find it very hard to refrain from laughing during Physics class and that whito-coatod toacher of Physics expects wonders in those unanswerable problems: but what he doesn ' t k now is that wo don ' t under- • stand a thing. Do you think that he knows that wc don ' t know what ' s going on? Dianne and Carol U. Dear Dianne and Carol U.: I don ' t think that he knows that you don ' t know what i.t ' s all about, and I think it would be wise to let him know that you don ' t know what it ' s all about. It is quite evident that other thoughts arc tho masters of your minds.

Page 96 text:

rir. S toros: Phil, how should a lawn be farmed? Phil: It sh uld. bo slanting towards tho house so all the water will go in the basomont. Mr. So toros : What sense docs that make? Phil? Well, ho might want to make a house boat. Mr. Sotcros: Alan, have you got your homework done? Alan: No, I ain ' t, sir. Mr. So tens: Why not? Alan: Well, I protended J did it. Mr. Sotcros: That ' s no excuse. Alan: Well, haven ' t you got no imagination? Mr. Sotores: Bruce, what are hops? Bruce: That ' s what bunnies do. Mr. Sotcros ; Give that man an R. G. Dunn cigar. Mr. Soteros : Richard, the specific gravity of a bottle weighs 23.2 grams whon empty and when full of water with .il on tho top is 63.7 cubic ice cubes filled with grams, therefore could you tell me what the speed of s ' ' und is? Richard: No. PHYSICAL TORTURE Mr. Langford: Now this is a basketball, Gaye. Gaye: No kiddin ' , I thought it was a horse chestnut. • ' fr 1 Langford: That goes to show how much y u know about ping-pong. CADETS Mr. Langford’ David, whon you ' re under fire from the enemy -and there arc bombers overhead and rocks to the right and rocks to the left and 1 w lean thorns between, and you even hoard a gun bark and you even saw a rock up in the air, what . wuld y ' .u do? David: If you ' d read tho news, you ' d know. 11C GIRLS Grade 11C girls seemed to be up against so many problems that they all decided to ask the advice ;if Auntie Freeze . Maybe you have tho same problems. If so, road Dear Auntie Freeze and you will find ycur answers. Dear Auntie Frcezo: Please help usj Our problem concerns a certain toachor who is con¬ tinually banging a throe-foot rule ;n our desks and scaring two inches off our life each time. Wc can ' t afford to lose many more inches and time is running short. Help usj Ruby and Carolyn Dear Ruby and Carolyn: By the sound of this teacher, he gives me the impression of being a Math Toachor. I am glad yu wrote because I know many other unfortunate individuals are plagued with this samo problem; so I suggest y u Join with the rebels or else at one of his mild moments, up and scare him yourself.

Page 98 text:

Al. Our one girl loft is Rone, who has an individual problem and has confided in Auntie Freeze, She is seeking for a solution. It seems there is an older man on her thoughts, and this oldor man doesn ' t soom to be aware of our Rone, or at least he hasn ' t let her know. Probably, this guy will vanish from her thoughts soon, but she doesn ' t think so, I can ' t find any solution, so Rene and I are open to suggest¬ ions. Auntie Freeze 11 D Fifteen minutes before departure twenty—nine crew members aro ushored to their appointed scats by Squadron Commander Montcith, until the count¬ down is completed. After listening intently to our instructions, we are prepared for take-off, but Bruco and George dopant, because they aro too terrified to remain with us. 5 -i4- 3 2-l —The rod light flashes. 1 Blasting into our course we safely arrive at our first landing point, Satellite 23, where wo are greeted by Comrade Sullivan, who is continuously irritated by John ' s mischievous a.cts. We store, up on space knovlodgo, and resume our flight into the unknown space (E. D, H. S.). Proceeding on, our second destination is in view; the female mombors advance to Pilot Chouinard and the male mombors advance to Co-Pilot Langford, who try to build up our physical fitness, tnd despite Liz ' s swollen ankle and Gary W ' s, shortness, they still put forth their best offorts. While approaching our third destination, Bernard and Elaino are in front, prepared to descend and assist Captain Harrow, and dream up ways of improving our lesson. Gloria, B..v, and Mabolnnn find it hard to decipher our code of position. Kathleen has been voted our most talka¬ tive crew member. Our Captain boards and remains with us until our next landing. Planet 32. Hero we are versed in triangles, squares, and circles. Bill, snooping in the front seat, is jarred from his slumber by the Captain because his snoozing was disturbing our crew. Cathy M., Carolyn, and Kenlyn are highly skilled, and do well in this course. Our mission accomplishod, we continue on our adventure. Wo are off again, this time in two air ships; some destined to interview Navigator Findlay, and the remainder to question Gunner Latimer. Wc have each taken on a strange crow to join us for this ex¬ pedition, but they remain on Sputniks 19 and 21. Lenn, who is very mischievous, again (as usual) has his seat taken from beneath him by our Land Navigator, who finds this a good solution for our usual problem of a shortage of seats in the female section. In this navigation, Qhcryl and Charlene aro tops as usual. Thu.se two seem to be magnetic where instructions are concerned. Our travels now load us again to Satellite 23, where Stewardess Kilpatrick endeavours, with the help (?) of Gary and Bob, to improve our speech-making capacities. While all are listening attentively to speeches, and Tom and Kay are intently listening to each other, Ted and Karl are hastily catching up on yesterday ' s homework.