English High School - Blue and Blue / Record Yearbook (Boston, MA)

Page 19 text:

Class Prophecy IT ALL CAME TO ME IN A DREAM OUR CLASS IN A FUTURE SCENE A TALE OF FATE AND ALL ITS TRICKS UPON THE CLASS OF FIFTY-SIX Ladies and gentlemen, a good evening to you: This is John Cameron Sherman bringing you the latest news. But first a word from our sponsor. Friends, The Foley, Hill, Geller and Gill Dis¬ tilleries have now the honor of announcing a new bottle developed by the Flaherty-Rehfield- Flaherty Glass Company. This new bottle is now covered by the Whipple-Non-Dripple- Nipple. This covering insures your enjoying your favorite beverage down to the last cool, clear drop. Now back to the news: — It was learned early this morning that despite the efforts of government officials residents of East Boston, led by Senator Mike Rosetti and Representatives Bob Pesce and Frank Pizza Puss Schettino, will, from now on, be able to dispense with showing their passports upon emerging from the Sumner Tunnel. This step, introduced by Gov. Gerald D ' Avolio is the last step in officially making East Boston part of continental United States. News from Hollywood: — Allen Turner, leading Hollywood producer, and no relation to Lana, has just completed the filming of The Snows of Mt. Georgakopoullos starring Vinny Denietolis and Alfred Puopolo as the two bald mountain climbers who attempt to scale the West Roxbury peak and their as¬ tonishment when upon reaching the top they discover Bashful Fred Richards. The intellectual eyes of the nation turn to Boston today as Sandris Stubelis and Eric Straumanis, notorious international gangsters, are indicted today under the National Cribbing Act of 1969 which prohibits anyone from mak¬ ing gypsheets for the College Boards. Local news: — Jack Goon, manager of Boston ' s most popu¬ lar Chinese Restaurant, was today forced to reveal that many of his so-called original Chinese delicacies are really prepared by the Rosenfield-Goldstein Company of 1669 Blue Hill Ave., Dorchester. Flash: — The Zeulli-Saia Insecticide Company have just made public the fact that from their re¬ search ' lavatories ' has come a perfected vac¬ cine that will eliminate completely Falvyitis of the Izzyslip. Washington: ' — The Department of Defence has just released a list of promotions upon which are the names of Leonard Trainer, Anthony Marino and Paul Munsey, local career boys. It seems that they have been promoted, after fourteen years, to privates first-class. Congratulations. The Near East:— Latest reports from the Israelian Border have it that Antoun Ghantous has been seen work¬ ing on the Hajiji Bahba camel ranch as head hump cleaner. At New York today, Dist. At¬ torney Arthur Jackson is scheduled to start pro¬ ceedings against John Christoforo and Gerald Greasy Thumb Capone. It seems they were discovered running a business in the back of a barber shop. Something like the library . . . . it ' s called taking book. Tom Porro, eminent labor leader, famous in his younger days for leading lunchroom strikes, has been subpoenaed before the Supreme Court to answer charges made against him by Ralph Schultz of the Schultz, Schuster, Cohen and Hanrahan Bagel Baking Company. It seems that Tom was inciting the bakers to bake the bagels without holes.

Page 18 text:

CRONIN leaves with Wally Pitts. CONNELLY, KAUFMAN, DICK and GILL leave for the Arena. SHERMAN and ARNO ' NE leave; and the Ath¬ letic Association ceases to operate. SCHETTINO, SAIA, ROSSETTI and CANNELLA leave for Naples with the recipe for English High School spaghetti. STETSON leaves to buy an Adam hat. RAMSAY, PORRO and KEANEY leave running. COULES leaves to organize a Junior Achieve¬ ment company in the Congo. PUOPOLO leaves for the Boston Symphony. JOHNSON leaves his racoon coat. TURNER leaves to replace Liberace. LANSKY leaves for the Davis Cup finals. WHIPPLE leaves for the Registry of Motor Ve¬ hicles (someday he ' s gonna get his license back). REHFIELD leaves, still trying to write speeches for those DAMN assemblies. VITELLO and VALENTI leave with a BANGUI!! ENG, GOON, MOY and LEE leave in the first senior class in eight years without o WONG. THE TRICK DRILL TEAM leaves a bottle of glue for every helmet. To the Freshmen we leave our gym shorts; you can use them as longies. To the Sophomores: Your draft notices for Capt. Fisher ' s army. To the Juniors: the ever present fragrancies (Cough Cough) that are emitted from the lab. TO OUR ALMA MATER WE LEAVE WITH REGRET, BUT WITH THE THOUGHT THAT IN THESE HALLOWED HALLS OF LEARNING WE HAVE PROGRESSED FROM BOYHOOD TO MANHOOD IN, WHICH WE SHALL RECALL AS, THE FOUR BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES. ALBERT SHERMAN

Page 20 text:

From the sports world: — The Amateur Athletic Union announced this morning that Dave the Shiv ' ' Gutbro and Bob Soft Stomach McAlpine are competing this evening at Madison Square Garden for the National Fencing Championship. Dave, if you remember, was quite a boy with the cold steel at EHS in his younger days. In the National Hockey League, President Richard Arnone suspended Ricky Gill, wing for Boston Bruins, for his unsportsmanlike conduct at last nite ' s game vs. New York. It seems that Gill was sitting in the penalty box and acquired an immediate dislike for the policeman that was sitting next to him. The officer is resting comfortably at City Hospital. From the fashion world: — Freddy Sweeney, noted designer of women ' s clothes has announced the styles for the sum¬ mer of 1971. Dresses will be designed on the scheme of barbed wire, that is, protecting the property without obstructing the view. AND SO WE BRING THIS FARCE TO A CLOSE WHAT ACTUALLY WILL HAPPEN NOBODY KNOWS BUT WITH ALL ITS QUEER AND CRAZY KICKS YOU ' LL NEVER BEAT THE CLASS OF FIFTY- SIX. ALBERT SHERMAN (Caretaker of the Crystal Ball)