Enfield High School - Echo Yearbook (Enfield, CT)

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THE ENFIELD ECHO 13 18th Amendment to the best of his ability. Collins—Just last week I read in the “Chili Times” that Angela Turrin has opened a crocodile farm in Brazil. She is now engaged in the prosperous business of exporting crocodile tears for use in the theatrical business. She has employed Elsie Steele as her right-hand man. Elsie’s job is to col- lect the tears in porcelain containers. This is quite a difficult accomplish- ment as the crocodiles must be gently flicked under the chin with an ostrich feather, while at the same time, the crucibles are held under their eyes. Jordt—Quite a ticklish job, I should say. But still, I don’t think it is any more important than— Claire—You fellows stop your argu- ing. You talk so much that Ethel and I can’t get a word in edgewise. Ethel—Yes, who would have thought that Bertha Lucas and Helen Nasuta would be found at the head of the Killemquic Hospital for incura- bles! So far they have been very suc- cessful. and they have recently added Anna Norris to their staff of first- class trained nurses. Claire—That’s good! While I wa° traveling in France last summer, I happened to visit the Dupuis Hall of Fine Arts, and I came across one of the prize masterpieces of the season, just completed by Eunice Green. She was formerly one of the starving ar- tists of Greenwich Village. The paint- ing was entitled “The Awakening.” Collins—Speaking of Paris suc- cesses, Dorothy Baumes has been hailed as one of the foremost dress designers of the day. Dot certainly was clever, though she never exploited her talents. The gowns are displayed exclusively by Florence Haginski, Paris’ most graceful manneouin Jordt—I tuned in on Station W. E. A. F. last night and what do you sup- pose I heard? The announcer was just introducing the “Snappy String Quar- tet” and it was led by Virginia Hv- land. Next came our old classmate, Eunice McGuire, who has become a very popular favorite with radio au- diences. She certainly can sing and she was accompanied on the piano by Edith Smith, the musician of old ’29. Quite a reunion of our class—and the announcer turned out to be Caroline Comstock. I thought there was some- thing familiar about that voice. Ethel—Quite a coincidence! But, speaking of musicians, you know Phil Dowd is now manager of the Babylon Theater in Chicago, but he doesn’t believe in bothering himself with de- tails so he leaves his correspondence entirely in charge of his very efficient private secretary, Welle Farnham. Now to return to the program—Phil always puts on a good program— Frank Javorski was singing “My Dream of Love”, a very beautiful song composed by Margaret Knight. It is said that two-thirds of Hie au- dience was made up of women! Then we heard Billie Hughes and his Jazz Joy Boys, not the least jazzy and joy- ous of whom is our old friend, Emil Baiek Claire—Did you hear that Helen Olmsted has just expounded a new theory on evolution that is causing a great deal of comment in the scien- tific world? She maintains that cer- tain observations she made while in high school led her to doubt whether some of the human species had yet evolut.ionized. Collins—Francis Connell certainly lives on Easy Street—that should suit him perfectly. He is running a very unique club called the “Rest Club.” and the most important members are Jimmie Rowan, Stanley Trachimowicz, and Dougie Thompson. Jordt—Well, who do you suppose is the architect of the new high school being built in Enfield? Chester Brain- ard! And helping him is Klemens Kalva, as electrical engineer, who, be- sides having charge of all the wiring in the building, has the dangerous iob of putting nuts on all the thunder- bolts. Claire—I see Louise Wadsworth is still up to her old tricks. She’s a newspaper critic, and one much feared by producers, as a plav succeeds or fails on her criticisms. I’ve heard that she has been offered tremendous bribes, but refuses to accept them, as she believes in saying exactly what she thinks! Ethel—Well, she’s running true to form. And where do you suppose I found Billie Pryce? He is emploved as a tester in a mirror factory. His job is to try all mirrors before they

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12 THE ENFIELD ECHO weighted as six and one-eighth tons, or two hundred and fifty pounds per member. Ethel—Well, you know, while 1 was in Chicago last summer, I visited the stadium there, and I saw a big husky boxer elbowing his way through the crowd rather roughly. It turned out to be Peter Cappozzi, and I learned from one of the bystanders that he had just conquered Jack Sharkey, Jr., in a one-sided bout. Claire—Did you ever think that the Yale football team could be defeated? Neither did I, but the impossible has happened. Morris King, the football coach of Princeton University, put out a team this year that completely crushed the Yale offensive and gal- loped over the goal line for easy vie- (Enter Collins) Collins—Hello, girls. Well, say, it’s a long time since I’ve seen you folks. I was looking for you this morning— Claire—Oh, by the way, have you seen or heard anything of Robert Gourlie lately? Collins—Yes, while I was in Wash- ington this year I heard that Robert was representing the state of Conn- ecticut as a Senator. He was very in- fluential in passing a law whereby every pedestrian was required to blow his horn before crossing the street. As I passed by the White House, I hoard a stentorian voice, and upon investigation, I found that it was Jo- seph August, arguing with the Presi- dent that high school English courses should be made more elaborate. Ethel—Isn’t this a great day to play golf? Look at that sky—not a cloud in it! Claire—No, but there’s something else in it—see that airplane over there. It’s landing—and who’s that coming toward us? Collins—Well of all things—it’s Petie Jordt. You know, he’s chief clown for Hunt’s Airplane Circus. He must be on a vacation. Well it’s a hard job trying to be funny all the time. (Enter Jordt) Jordt—Well look who’s here. I thought you looked familiar, but I changed un before I came to investi- gate Well, what have you been doing all these years? I heard Claire sing- ing in the Metx-opolitan Opera House in New York about three years ago. I was quite surprised to hear her name on everyone’s lips. By the way, Ed, what have you been doing to keep yourself alive? Collins—Well, you know, since striking oil down on my poultry farm in Wallop, I made quite a fortune, and naturally I have quite a lot of leisure time. I spend it by traveling. I’ve heard that Ethel has become quite successful as a commercial artist for the firm “Liftum Bustum”, furni- ture manufacturers in Tallahassee, Florida. Jordt—Say, Ed, which member of the class of 1929 has the most promi- nent position? Collins—That’s a hard question to answer—let’s see—there’s John H. Lyons, who has become a noted lec- turer and has just finished a round- the-world lecturing tour. His subject was “Reduce, Ye Rebels”. It rivals Russell Conwell’s “Acres of Dia- monds”. Mr. Lyons is so enthusiastic over his subject that he really prac- tices what he preaches. Ethel—Well, how about our class actress? I found her employed as instructor in Dramatics at the new Hicliff College—none other than Nel- lie Phelps. Claire—The chief dietitian of that college is Mary Stinson, and Mary sees that the students get the proper number of calories each day. Jordt—Well, there’s Lucien Glazier making his pile by beautifying the faces of the young women of the coun- try. When better beauty creams are made, Lucien will make them. Ethel—And Ethlyn Connell is still an artist—she draws the ads for Lu- cien’s beauty products, and her prin- cipal model is Mary Quinn. Mary must have kept that schoolgirl com- plexion. Jordt—Well, that’s nothing, I saw in the paper this morning that Dom- inic Lepore had resigned his position as “Good Will” ambassador to become President of the Republic of Peru. And here’s another one. You remem- ber Bonelli back in E, H R.. don’t vou9 Well he’s the big political boss in Tuttleville. Maine, now erd has announced his intention to uphold the

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14 THE ENFIELD ECHO leave the factory to see if they reflect flatteringly. He must have had plenty of practice! Jordt—While in Hollywood I saw a very dashing young man ride by in his Rolls-Royce. I wondered who he was, so I asked a passing pedestrian, who informed me that it was Ray Blodgett, a very promising movie hero, recently come into stardom. Collins—Florestine Sharon is man- ufacturing the latest in footwear, and has made millions from her remarka- ble invention of “Non-Squeak Shoes.” As might be expected, Florestine needs an expert accountant to take care of her business, and this place is capably filled by Mildred Lord. Claire—Doris Leger is winning hon- ors in the field of aviation, and she is the first person to complete a non- stop flight around the world. Doris is very modest about her achievement and insists that her success was en- tirely due to her mechanic’s care of her plane. This marvelous mechanic, it seems, is also a woman, none other than Clara Pelky. Ethel—We found Loris Stratton at the head of a large organization of chain restaurants, which she manages personally. One of her latest special- ties is a delicious concoction composed chiefly of fried lobsters. This is said to account for the popularity of her restaurants. Jordt—Passing through the metrop- olis of Talcotville, I beheld a flagrant sign-board, proclaiming the coming popular and pleasing presentation, “Naughton’s Naughty Niceties”, un- der the direct supervision of Joe Naughton. Starring as his leading lady was Miss Lorraine Gaudette, who is known throughout the country for her extraordinary acting. Claire—Matthew Alaimo is running the Boston Public Market and in order to give the customers ouality as well as service he has installed one of his new hot air refrigerators sold by Al- bert Bielitz. Mr. Bielitz supplies the hot air himself and maintains that one filling will last a lifetime. Collins—I heard that Mary McCann is the editor of one of the foremost newspapers of the world. She at- tained her great success by editing a paper containing thirty-two funny sheets, because she believes the public should laugh more. Naomi Thompson, I found, was a French teacher in the Y. M. H. A., or Young Men’s Hebrew Academy. She says that her students always attend strictly to BUSINESS. Ethel—Have you heard what Al- bert Phelps is doing? Everybody—No! Ethel—Well, he has become a pro- fessor of chemistry in E. H. S. since Miss Storrs has resigned. Mr. Robert Welch and Mr. Reveruzzi have formed a partnership and are running the “I Catchum You Skinum Advertising Agency. Their motto is “An ad for every fad”, and it is said that they are quite successful. Claire—Evelyn Kaminski is now the World’s Champion Shorthand Writer. She has set a record of 500 words a minute. I wonder who her dictator is. It must be Caroline Com- stock. Have you heard what Wallace Chevalier is doing? They say he is making good in the dairy business. Jordt—How is that? Claire—Oh, he connected a pipe to the milky way and now he supplies all New York with milk. Jordt—Claire Sloane has become quite a business woman and is now owner of the Makumover Beauty Salon in New York, which specializes in face-lifting. Her expert manicur- ist, we find to be Mary Raffia. Collins—Michael Liucci has startled the people of the world and created a sensation among the young men of the country by placing upon the market for the first time in history, a sham- poo, which will transform a brunette into a blonde within one week. Ethel—Francis Uzell has just fin- ished the arduous task of learning the Chinese language and has sailed for that country to take up a position as telegraph operator. Claire—Charlotte Schoppe’s new book, advocating six meals a day, has quite upset the leading scientific and medical authorities, and Ruth Pease has just made her first matrimonial venture. She has become the wife of Reverend I. M. Good. Jordt—That quiet little city of Chi- cago has another Mayor Thompson. Thus time it is little Bill Thompson. Claire—Has he stopped the gang war there? Jordt—Heavens, no! He has to con-