Emmerich Manual High School - Ivian Yearbook (Indianapolis, IN)

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Now make the best of it, by Gum ! ' And in a voice I thought was right, I yelled away with all my might, Gimme the world and all that ' s in it ; ' And someone answered ' In a minute. ' 1 waited with expectant joy, Feelin ' like a circus boy. I heard a rattlin ' and a hummin ' , I sang out, ' Glory ! hear it comin. ' But, suddenly, there came a smash, My hopes was blighted with a crash. I thought my time had come to go, And things looked black ; I felt as though, I ' d heard a thund ' rin ' boomin ' noise Like the glorious fourth and all its boys. A snappin ' and a crackin ' too And I begun to feel real blue. And then ten thousand red hot devils Seemed to curse me in their revels. I thought they ' d kill me then and there They seemed to dig out all my hair. They pinched and bit and scratched my face Their seething brands I felt them trace, My arm felt like ' twas full of needles My stomach full of pinchin ' beetles ; A million sparks passed ' fore my eyes, I felt myself hurled toward the skies. Then to earth like a meteor spark, I struck the floor and all was dark. I came to in the calaboose, The marshall wouldn ' t let me loose, Till I paid fifty dollars fine For damage I had done the line. This course then I resolved to foller To cut it straight for Bean Pole Holler, And here I be, and here I stay Sure as my name ' s Josh Hornaday. WALTER GUEDEL The Great Football Game 1TELL you, boys, that was the greatest game that ever was played. For weeks beforehand, Saunderson, the captain of the team, had kept the squad hard at it practicing for this game. n Sandy was a great believer in the theory of training. He always ate raw beef and soft boiled eggs, and in training or out never ate any fruit. He liked fruit once, especially apples — that is, other people ' s apples ; but a dog cured him of that. Once he was making an accelerated exit from a farmer ' s orchard and a dog bit off a large piece of Sandy. Next day Sandy went up in chemistry and got Harley Rhodehammel to put some soothing-syrup on the place. Harley said he thought it would get well though it was a bit sore now. Harley always was getting off things like that, but he never meant anything by it. Sometimes he had to draw diagrams to help explain the finer points of some of his jokes, but when the demonstrations became intricate he used to call in Bee Diddel to help him. Bee was great in geometry. He was always absent when the lessons were hard and always recited when they were easy. Consequently he flunked very seldom. Bee was not a lazy boy, but he did like to sit down in mechanical drawing. He would always lower his table clear down to the lowest notch and then he would scratch around until he found a box or something to sit on while he worked. Mr. Bronson finally had to hide everything that could be sat on and then put a clamp on Bee ' s table so it couldn ' t be lowered. George Emminger said that if

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i.GdOOBRD Uncle Josh ' s Town Adventure (A told by himself) B The only time I went to town, I tell you I was done up brown. The first thing I desired to know, Was what was in the big depot. So I pushed through the swingin ' doors, And ambled o ' er the marble floors, Until I run aginst a box That wouldn ' t stand a storm of rocks. ' T was mostly glass ; some printin ' said, ' Bell, tell someone ' s cow, ' it read. I couldn ' t see whose cow to tell, But who e ' er ' twas, he couldn ' t spell. As sure as I ' m alive I know That cow aint spelled just plain c - o. Upon the door in brilliant hue, Was pictured off a bell in blue. Now I can ' t see an earthly thing, In a door-bell that you can ' t ring. The blamed thing was so strange to me, I thought I ' d loaf around and see If something would turn up that might Relieve my nerves and set me right. And by an ' by two fellers came Right up to me and I ' ll be blame If one did not go in that box Without so much as tryin ' the locks. And I peeked through the glassy wall To see what I could see a ' tall. And there he stood before a thing With bells that looked as if they ' d ring. He dropped a nickle in a slot And held something up to his knot, And ' gan to talk out of his head. You ought to heard what that man said : ' Gimme the National Bank, ' he cried, Then waited and looked satisfied. This scared me out, I turned away, So I could hear no more he ' d say. I hadn ' t waited long about, Before he came a waltzin ' out. 1 Did you get it ? ' his partner cried. When he said, ' Yes, ' I nearly died. No bank I saw, but then I guess That they would send it by express. ' Spent five cents and got a bank, ' I sought my purse ; my spirits sank. A gold half eagle therein lay, But nickle, none to my dismay. Then suddenly old Josh got wise, My blasted hopes began to rise. ' A nickle made it rich for you, I ' ll see what this gold-piece will do. ' I spake ; and ' fore you could say, ' Bean, 1 I was in before the durned machine. I dropped my fiver in the slot, Took down the thing and let her go got. I heard a buzzin ' in my ear, And something sweet said, ' Number, dear. ' I thought, ' Old man, your chance has come, «GOODW

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Mr. Bronson would put Bee n to work on link-motion n he would never want to sit down. George had worked at it until he was wild-eyed, woolly-haired, and could see around corners and he knew what he was talking about. Mr. Bronson once said that whosoever mastered n link-motion would be fit to take a responsible position at any railroad or a funeral, he didn ' t know which. But that was all before he was a witness in the trial After that he never joked very muck He just looked sad. Cotton ' s cross-questioning was too much for him. Cotton and Raschig were the attorneys for the defense. Raschig was great on cross-examination but when he rose to make a speech he got so red that his ears sizzled and his hair curled. Raschig was an awfully affectionate sort of a fellow. He had an umbrella that he was fond of — . Why once somebody took it by mistake out of the cloak-room and left in its place a fine, silk, ivory-handled umbrella. Pretty soon Raschig found it out and he nearly cried. Said he wanted his old cotton rain-stick n back again. He went to Mr. Hall — he was our session-room teacher then and he refereed in the big football game. I tell you, boys, that was the greatest game that ever was played. For weeks beforehand Saunderson, the captain of Why boys! Not going are you? I wanted to tell you about that game. Well I ' ll tell you some other time. W. F. KAPPES The Curse on Uncle Eph ' s House HI, DAR, don ' t go under dar, don ' t ! don ' t ! don ' t ! He had begun entreatingly but ended in a tone of command. Astonished the young girl stopped, while an old darkey got stiffly down off a ladder and, placing it to one side, said, n Land sakes o ' life, honey, ah wouldn ' t had you to go under dat ladder noway. Yes ma ' am it ' s the meanes ' kind of bad luck. fi Amused at the superstitious strain in the old darky, the young girl drew him into a conversation regarding good and bad omens, and finally asked him if he had ever seen a ghost. The darky thought awhile and then said, n No, ah haint neber seen no ghost, but onct ah thought ah seen what one was a doin ' . n It was dis away. You remember when all us darkies was so scared by dat old witch woman dat was livin on Belt street ? Well dat ' s the time. One afternoon when ah was away workin ' and Mandy (that ' s mah wife), she was a washin ' in the old kitchen and ain ' t thinkin ' bout nothin ' , all a suddent some one said right back her, Howdy Mis Bubu. Mandy she ' s flustered and turned round quick and dar was dat ar old witch woman. She kinder laughed and told Mandy not to be scared, she neber hurt no friends anyhow. Then she said she ' d tell Mandy ' s fortune and Mandy ' lowed she couldn ' t and the old woman ' lowed she could. Anyhow she grabbed Mandy ' s hand and looked at it real close and then told her something that happened way before the war. Well now, Mandy she just grabbed dat hoodoo woman and carried her out in the street and locked the door. Dat old woman just hollered and screamed, and said she ' d put a curse on the house and it would come true dat night. Now when ah got home Mandy was just dat scared she would hardly let me in the house. After supper ah done went to the grocery store for some meal and when ah got home Mandy was in bed so ah just put the meal on the mantel and got on to bed just as fast as ever ah could. Dar was ' nt no light burnin ' and we ' s just layin ' dar waitin ' to hear somethin ' and by un by when we ' s just bout sleep, pop right out the wall dar came a round thing with long legs and crawled down the wall, like a big grand-daddy long legs, across the floor and under the bed. Mandy she hollered and told me to light a match and ah reached out of bed to get a match out of the can when law me, it seemed dat right out under mah hand a ball of yeller fire jumped and skated down the door, across the zinc and under the stove. Well, right dar dis darky had to get up for Mandy had fainted. Ah got the water and brought her to, and then that ar woman made me get down on my mah knees and see what was under the bed. Under the bed I ain ' t found nothin ' but Mandy ' s ball of yam with the knittin needles stuck in it. You see the mice had knocked it off the mantel when they was a gittin at the meal, for the sack was gnawed the next mornin an ' half the meal was done gone. But, Uncle Eph, said the young girl, who had listened attentively, n What was under the stove ? n He laughed sheepishly and said, Well, you see Mandy had braced the door with the wash- board and had forgotten to take the soap off so when ah got out of bed ah bumped the board and the soap slid down under the stove. But ah tell you, Miss, we didn ' t sleep much dat night and afcre long the old witch woman went to Louisville cause the people was goin ' to have her ' rested for makin ' all their chickens die. EDITH OHLSEN