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Page 32 text:
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Rule Breaking at Elmwood While most of us begin at Elmwood as law-abiding young girls, something happens to us along the way, as inevitably most of us try to break rules in one way or another. In order to break rules effectively and safely, there are two prerequisites. First of all, you must have mastered the Who, me? look, which, when done effectively, is foolproof. Secondly, you must learn to be quiet, even discreet, about rule breaking, in order not to be caught. One of the most frequently broken rules is no food in the classroom. This rule, broken at least once a week by every student, has a sound reason behind it - the administration does not want to have to deal with small, furry-legged creatures lurking in the classrooms. Because students often bake cakes for members of the form on their birthday, the rule is all but ignored. When a teacher enters the class to teach, students are usually still in the midst of eating, and so a piece of cake is offered as a means of appeasement. This is particularly effective if the cake contains copious quantities of rum or sherry, as many girls are given to substitute these ingredients for milk or water. A second rule commonly broken is no chewing gum in uniform. Some of us joke, trying to figure out why anyone would have chewing gum in their uniform. The secret is not to chew bubble gum, which actually gives off an aroma, detectable from a distance of up to twelve feet. Another drawback is that most people cannot resist the temptation to blow a bubble, usually in front of a teacher. The gum should be a small piece - easy to swallow, or conceal under the tongue, or on the roof of the mouth. When in sight of teachers, it should be chewed discreetly. Try not to draw attention to your mouth by placing your hand over it, or by leaning your head on your hand, because you head moves up and down, making you misdemeanor more obvious. Yet another rule commonly broken is the one that students below Grade Twelve shall not use the front stairs. Although this is a priviledge, it never ceased to annoy students, as it is much quicker to use these stairs rather than the back ones. By Grade Eleven, students get very lax about this rule, and many of us use the stairs regularly. The secret to this procedure is to stand at the top of the stairs, and peer down to see who is in the office. If there are no teachers, the student should proceed. If the student encounters a teacher on the stairs, she should look as confident as possible, and proceed. Turning around and going back up just makes the act more obvious. Rules about jewelry often become victimized by students. Bracelets are often dismissed by the wearer, with the excuse It ' s for my arthritis or I can ' t take it off. The clever student who wears illegal rings turns the stones over while in the presence of a teacher or a prefect. One sometimes has the feeling that Elmwood has been swept by a religious crusade, by the number of crosses donned by students. It is these same students who always forget their prayer books, and who sleep in every Sunday. While make-up is supposedly a non-entity, there is a surprising amount of it around Elm- wood. It strikes some people as funny that some students feel compelled to beautify themselves in order to spend an entire day around members of the same sex. The excuses are always en- tertaining. One student, when asked why she was wearing blush, replied, That isn ' t blush; I pinch my cheeks! or That isn ' t mascara - 1 dyed my eyelashes! There is always the inevitable excuse that I forgot to take it off. You see, I was out last night. The student then proceeds to tell her life story in five hundred words or less. After all, rules are made to be broken! Lisa Stilborn
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Page 31 text:
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