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Page 80 text:
“
Ballad of a Selective Tory In the parliament of Brit Where there once was not a whit Of Whig There now is hardly left a Tory. And one who acted big Now plays the starring role in my story. They called him Profumo And he had a good accumulo Of extra-curric activities And a model—Christine Keeler Just happened to be one Of these. He met her through an introduction By a chap named Dr. Ward And engaged in some seduction— An activity both adored. ’Twas at a party of the Astor’s I recall But the proceedings of before Did not match the after ball. Well, Profumo continued on In my little story And with Christine’s aid to Ivanov He turned out not A very conservative Tory. Then it was discovered I have found That Prof’s little secret was blabbered And dear Chris’s parliamentary history Lesson came to ground. Poor Val was left in the clinch And Ivanov has joined her— that’s a cinch. And Mandy Rice-Davies Has tattled all that she can tell From the story’s score And poor Miss Keeler Has told them all to go to hell ’Cause a poor girl just can’t make an honest living anymore. —Leila Valancay.
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Page 79 text:
“
The Hale of Newspapers in Modern Life The first newspapers, or “news-letters” came into being after Gutenberg’s introduction of mov¬ able type in the latter half of the fifteenth cen¬ tury. The first of these were but slips of paper with perhaps an amusing anecdote, the date of coming County Fair, or an exposition of the qual¬ ity of Hugh the Clothier’s latest goods. Gradually, however, the variety and informativeness of the news reported increased. By the time of Queen Anne, no gentleman could conceive of life with¬ out his “Courant”. It brought news of Court, Lloyd’s, the City, the provinces and abroad. It was this last aspect which made the Boston News Letter so vital a part of life when it began pub¬ lication in 1702. The outside world was brought just a little nearer. Since the eighteenth century, newspapers have expanded, changed and often improved. The one-hundred-odd dollars necessary for an airmail subscription to the daily Times of London put that worthy newspaper out of the reach of most of us, but our own local newspapers do an admirable job. Their news is varied to meet the needs of the readers. The articles of greatest general interest are of¬ ten on the front page. Important socio-economic and political news is usually found here. One must, however, almost invariably turn to search out page eighteen to finish an article begun on the front page. There is no such problem with the editorial page, which is one of the most interest¬ ing in the paper. Here may be found reporters’ assignments of events, and articles of historical interest. In our local newspapers, Kamienske and MacPherson provide us with amusing cartoons, while Eric Nicoll keeps us supplied with word- humour. The chief attraction for younger children is the comic section. - Even this has a variety of parts. Some, like “B.C.”, are relatively new. Others, like Dagwood, were existant in the 1930’s. The Katzen- jammer Kids, believe it or not, are fifty-six years old! The social page is designed for women. It reports marriages, births and visits, and gives helpful hints on how to lose those twenty unwanted pounds. Too, it contains the everlasting columns of Abigail Van Buren and Anne Landers. The second part of the paper contains sports news. Not only are local events reported, but the inter¬ ested may find results of such things as Old Coun¬ try Soccer. Less amusing but just as important, is the obituary page, a description of which is not necessary. Newspapers are an invaluable asset to today’s man, for it is necessary to keep abreast of develop¬ ments in our ever-shrinking world. They are a bet¬ ter weapon against injustice than guns, and are feared by the unjust. We must guard freedom of the press, for only a free press can be of any bene¬ fit to a free people. —Alan Alvare. 77
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