Ellsworth Community College - Web Yearbook (Iowa Falls, IA)

Page 132 text:

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. , ,fl . l ,q ?' SQ I N ' .Nk I 'i? Y E Pri. 'aa . I . lit it t 'K -e 5 it il if5',.t lE l , , s . M u i i t .lf -in El i t-, .1 , - f Q i l 'I ' '?r1Q's:34 iT15ia:f'ag gg L1 K- t 'tithe Eliahle nf the Eurtle ADOLPH LIEN Long, long ago, when the moon was but a twinkle, a host of creeping animals gathered in the cranny of a crag to commemorate their features. The turtle, chosen by loud acclamation, sum- moned the gang of toads, the fraternity of lobsters, the school of suckers, and the swarm of gnats to issue forth and pose before ga bright ray of sunlight, thus leaving their shadows imprinted upon leaves. The sponge and the leech aided in gathering data, until'all features-foolish and fair, wise and otherwise-were fossilized in the strata of the cranny. The thotful turtle desired to put everyone foremostg laud and jovial jokes fell on all alike. Meanwhile, the naughty iiea jeered the silly oyster and the clumsy crabg and all said: Hal Won't I laugh when I see my sister snail and brother Hea in their funny attitudes! Ah, me! and then see my virtues magnified! At last the task was done, the crayfxsh had backed into the last stratum, the crab looked sourg the clam was mute, the intrusive Hea was everywhere! 'fWretchl they cried in chorus as they assailed the poor turtle, who drew his wearied head within his shell. jolts and jeers, darts and dashes fell fast from the calloused crust until the exhausted battalions fell back beneath the allu- vium of oblivion. Then the hard-shelled turtle bathed his pate in twinkles of Hitting moonlight and grinned. Moral: It is useless and foolish for us to criticise the editor for showing no favors in recording our virtues and absurdities, especially when we enjoy seeing the shortcomings of our neighbors. mural-Support the Ahuiwtiaer ADAM CHRISTMAN In the Kingdom of Knowledge of Castle Caroline dwelt a beautiful young princess by the name of Coed. She was fair and had many accomplishments, being able to row, dance, sing and play tennis, and make fudge with a definite amount of uncertainty. In the neighboring town of Bo- hunk lived a young citizen whom we will designate as the Exciting Force and the Rising In- terest. When a boy he made toys out of tin cans, he ate grapefruit without closing his eyes, and rolled peas down his knife blade with unerring precision. At the tender age of nineteen he felt the call of love and so betook himself with many other knights to the Kingdom of Knowledge. He rolled up one day in a machine commonly known as a cookie cutter. Before long he saw an announcement of the general reception, which meant a tournament for competitive adornment. As the date of the tourney was still several days distant, our good friend drew forth a book known as Sears 'and Robeuck or commonly called the Friend of the People. He sent for a complete armament, but the other young knights looked up those who had advertised in the WEB. The night of the tournament arrived and our young hero had just received his lingerie on the 6:47 by way of the sauerkraut route, i. e., Ackley. He found to his dismay that the suit fit him five minutes too late. His shirt resembled an advertisement of Kellogg's Corn Flakes and his tie was a scream. Yet he comforted himself with the assurance, If it comes from us it's good. On his way to the castle a heavy shower overtook our hero, and he experienced a sinking sensation, altho his trouser cuhs were moving steadily upwards. Our hero pushed on but was greatly cha- grined to see the splendor and the glory of the knights who had patronized the WEB advertisers. His clothes by this time had developed such a sentiment for him that he found himself incapaci- tated for anything but a hat rack, which requires an erect posture. Moral: Trade with the WEB advertiser. 134 f l