Ellis School - Ellisian Fields Yearbook (Pittsburgh, PA)

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ably remembers as Miss Tolli Reed. You see, she had broken into the headlines a few years ago, by announcing her intention of making a non-stop flight around the world. She took only a small black poodle with her, as a mascot, and became so en- grossed in her flight that she had been going 'round and 'round ever since. They next proceeded to the nation's capital, in order to visit the more illus- trious daughters of Ellis. First in the House of Representatives, they heard a spirited proposal for a Suffrage for Dogs, eloquently presented by Miss Dorothy Miller. Dodie, as she was always called, is really Mrs. Collins Van Snort, of the famous Washington Snorts. Though she professionally goes by her maiden name, she has ten beautiful young Snorts, one for every year of her marriage, since her graduation from Wheaton. She is known as a ''Congresswoman-at-large from the state of Indiana. She is one of the best spoken members of Congress and is famous for her Latin ad-libbing, all of which she learned from her faithful prodder, Mrs. Hogg. Then, Mrs. Lester de Pester, formerly Miss Molly Burgwin of Pittsburgh, the first woman Speaker of the House, silenced Miss Miller on the issue! Mrs. de Pester has worked steadily upward in the field of politics, and wields a great power in the House of Representatives. After graduating from Radcliffe, she was known to all of us, as the young social arbiter and leader of Washington society, but she turned her back upon such trivial matters as those gala dinner parties for which Washington is noted in order to champion the rights of the common people. At the present time, she ardently desires to further the American female's learning, with her newly launched campaign cry, Let us have co-education at Yale ! Next, they decided to take a run out to Oregon on the west coast, to see their famous friend, Miss Margieann Bingler. Margieann has been much too busy the last few years to bother her head about marriage, although she has had many op- portunities. She's hit the headlines several times for she has become America's biggest shipbuilder. Back in 1958, she ruthlessly put Henry J. Kaiser out of busi- nessg now in 1963, she is building boats that are putting the old Queen Elizabeth to shame! These ships can carry 5000 passengers around the world at once, and are equipped with wings so they can take to the air in case of a bad storm. Of course, every one of Miss Bingler's boats is run with a high-powered Ford motor. They al- ways said back in '418 that there was a Ford in her future. The last stop of these curious damsels was the great metropolis of New York. As they landed on Times Square in their new rocket ship, they headed straight for Broadway! After walking for a few minutes they came upon the theater which dis- played the name of a former classmate in glittering lights. This was Miss Nancy Patton of Glenshaw, who was starring in the new Broadway hit, The Importance of Being Punctualf' After a stirring performance, she greeted the girls with open arms and invited them to her apartment for cocktails. In private life she is Mrs. Barrymore Von Virgil, one of New York's most fascinating young widows, and known to everyone for her lavish entertaining. Besides this, she has been writing, directing and acting in her own plays for several years-with none other than John Dall as her co-star. From the garden of her twenty-fifth story penthouse, they listened avidly to her tales of adventure in the big city. She told them how her husband Barrymore, had worked for years to split an atom he had isolated. After splitting it, he died of shock when he found that it was only a molecule. And so, after this enlightening trip to many distant spots of the world, the inquisitive damsels returned to their own private lives, satisfied as to the fate, happy and unhappy, of the members of the old Class of '4'8. E271

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Class Prophecy Fifteen fruitful years have passed since that pride of Ellis, the Class of '48, left her cloistered precincts to face fortune's dizzy dance. Time has made but a slight impression upon this group, their bonds of friendship are entwined forever with the hallowed memory of the hallowed years passed together in the wild days of their adolesence. One sunny morning in June, some of the aforementioned damsels left their respective walks of life to take a peek into the private lives of their former class- mates. In the course of their travels they unearthed some choice bits concerning them, about which they had to confess a certain curiosity. The first stop they made was in a lonely rural district of the Alps, where they came upon a brood of six child- ren, romping in the yard of a rambling shack of forty rooms. Inquiry revealed this to be the humble abode of the former Miss Anne Allen, wife of the brilliant archaeol- ogist, Baron Von Cruncher. Amid the din of her various babbling offspring, they discovered that the Baroness herself was a renowned archeologist. They found her face streaked with dirt and her hair in wild disarray, and were unable to distract her attention from the all engrossing work of digging. Finally, from the unintelli- gible mumbling of her offspring, it was understood that she was excavating the bones of her long lost lover, Roberto Bakero, from beneath the stones of the mountainside. Upon arriving in Vienna two days later, they found that the famous 'cellist, Madame Feodor Mikhailovitch Dostoievsky III, formerly Miss Joanne Fisher of Pittsburgh, was making a tour through Austria, and was giving her first concert there that night. When they finally saw her, she confessed that she was going to play the difficult Till Eulenspiegelu by Strauss, and would be the only performer ever to play it as a 'cello solo, instead of the customary violin solo. Her husband, Mikhailovitch, in the meantime, was back in Russia trying to write a sequel to The Brothefs Karamazov just to please his darling Joanne. Soon after that, they spent a week end with the Marquesa de la Suanque O'Halligan-better known as Miss Caroline Browne, in her charming villa on the Riviera. The Marquesa, who is now spending the winter with her fifth husband, is starting work on her memoirs about the preceding four, which, from all accounts should prove interesting. At the same time, she busies herself by dabbling a bit at painting, and running a French Oldsmobile agency. While on board a ship on their way back to America, they received the start- ling news that the scientific girl with the bangs, Miss Joan Carson, has just out- maneuvered Einstein. Upon arriving in Mt. Lebanon, she revealed to them in a private interview how she had discovered that the missing linkn doesnit equal X at all, it equals Y. Which, if statistics don't lie, is going to shake the fundamentals of algebra throughout the world! And poor Miss Soule, what will she do? Their next stop was made at Rolling Hills in Lexington, Kentucky. On these sunny acres they found Mrs. Casper Milquetoast purring sweet nothings in honeyed tones into the ear of her favori-te thoroughbred. Mrs. Milquetoast is the former, dashing, Miss Joanne Cherrington of Sewickley. She, her husband Casper, and their two children, Pall and Mall, have the largest stables in the country, and are the South's foremost authorities on horse breeding and tobacco raising. Later, as they were having tea on the patio of a charming countryside inn, they suddenly heard a whirring sound from above, and the next thing they knew, there was a terrific crash in the middle of their table. As they looked, astounded, they saw a weather-beaten gondola of a stratosphere balloon on the ground. The port- hole slowly opened and out climbed the famous Zoom Zoom, whom everybody prob- E261

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The Last Will and Testament We, the members of the class of 1948, do hereby declare this to be our last will and testament. First, we direct our executor to pay our just debts, and our funeral expenses. Second, to our long-suffering teachers, we bequeath our everlasting gratitude. Third, we, as a class make the following bequests: Anne Allen's fraternity pin to Eleanore Large. Margiann Bingler's piece of string for tying up her books to Nancy Luke. Molly Burgwin's load of books to anyone who can carry them. Caroline Bro-wne's expired driver's license to Marjorie Miller. Joan Carson's ride home in the cab to Abbie Flick. Joanne Cherringtonfs' car check to Tina Rutledge. Joanne Fisher's uniform to Mimi Burchfield. Dodie Miller's desk to Anne Becker, to pile her books on. Tolli Reed's posture to Miss Benson. Nancy Patton's English accent to Mrs. Austin. Fourth, all the rest, residue and remainer of our estate, we bequeath to our sister class. We hereby appoint Miss Fairlamb executor of our last will and testament. THE CLASS OF 194-8 E231