Elk Grove High School - Elk Yearbook (Elk Grove, CA)

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THE 'T' ELK the telephone in our room buzzed for about two hours, Bob and I working systematically in relays. Probably a class has never assembled so promptly nor behaved in so orderly a fashion previous to roll-call, as the botany class did the following morning. The professor stalked to his desk, searching with his right hand absent-mindedly in his pockets for his notes, which he was holding in his left hand. He could hardly believe his eyes when he saw Bob assume the char- acteristic pose of a yell-leader. As one man the class roseg as one voice the boys shouted, 'Mammal Mamma . Betty gurgled with delight and amusement. Oh, how funny! But who was the professor and did he marry Sue ? She was consumed with curiosity. - VVhy, of course they were marriedf' responded Caxton. Oh, here comes your father. I-Iave you got it all out of your system ? asked Dargent shamefacedly, but with an air of relief. Yes, but Miss Betty wants to know who the professor is, smiled Caxton. The professor blushed and grinned. I! H Oh daddy, it was vou ! and Betty shouted with youthful and spontane- 7 1 ous merriment. -D. F. VV., '20. AN ODE TO X Thou little imposter! For ages have I pursued you, Through tangled mazes of sines and secants, Into wildernesses of figures, and thence Over intricate layers of roots and powers. Thou givest me a pain! By means geometric, By efforts analytic, I have sought to spot thee, But all in vain. Thou always elude me, Thou slippery sinner! I thought I had thee, But, methinks thou art hidden Crouched behind the Binomial Theorem, Of which I know not of, peering at me Over the head of Euler's Formula, And a desolate waste of brain twisting memonica. O! Thou wretch! My lamp at midnight burns for thee. I need thee every hour, for little X, Wfithout thee, my marks, like thee, are uncertain values, In the linear equation of school life, , Wliere values sometimes cancel and disappear. Therefore, abide with me, and elude me not. J. B., '19- Fifty-two

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1-ji I, , .f, , 'tif ' I . , PHE EL In rx stil.- elgi il r i,3lg,lkf'f - :wwf had a very pretty daughter, Sue, considerably older than I or my clique. She was a 'college widow' and, of course, popular with the boys. ' I had a big, cozy room with French windows overlooking the porch. My chum, Bob Ralston, spent more time with me than he did at the frat house. We were always teasing Sue about her numerous beaux, but we derived an infinite amount of pleasure in playing pranks on a young professor, whose 'absence d'esprit was remarkablef and who was quite an attentive and ardent suitor. Incidentally, Bob and I were in his botany class. W'e invited them to go to a first-class show one night and Sue nearly died of mortification because of our audible comments concerning the resemblance of the villain to the professor. Then we parodied 'The Bull Frog on the Bank' and sang forty-'leven verses to her whenever we got a chance. VVe never entertained the professor with our grand operag however, I think some of the verses went like this :- Oh, the damsel on the step Ah, the teacher loved her trueg The teacher called the damsel His woozy-oozey-oo! Says the lover to the maid Oh, how I love you, dearg The maid, she said, You are too fresh, Her eye then dropped a tear. VVhy, I'm sure I've heard mother sing that song, interrupted Betty. Perhaps you have, asserted Mr. Caxton. Things were getting pretty fierce, he continued. VVe worked night and day hatching up new schemes to torment Sue and her admirer. One particu- larly beautiful spring evening when the lamp in the sitting-room burned low and sympathetically, we put an alarm clock under the settee. When it went off the Professor jumped a mile, grabbing at his coat tail, and Miss Sue climbed upon a chair and hollered bloody murder. The professor gallantly assured her that she was eminently safe under his protectiong and the next day she accused me of complicitv in the plot. I would admit nothing, but Bob and I resolved to lie low for a few days. Une hot evening Bob and I drew my lounge up to the front window and dropped our lazy lengths on it with a thud. It was a languorous, dusky, mys- tic night late in spring and we felt indolently indisposed to talk or even to think. Mrs. X. was dining out and Sue had gone to mail a letter. In a few minutes the latter returned with the professor in tow. , 'Let's stay out here: it's too hot inside,' ,Sue suggested. So they seated themselves on the top stepaof the porch, almost directly in front of our post of observation. They carried on a low-toned conversation: so we were not at all guilty of eaves-dropping. However, they occasionally raised their voices and now and then we could hear a detached dialogue. At length the professor, overcome by the charms of the lovely Sue, must have become a bit indiscreet. 'Behave yourself! I'll call mammal' cried Sue, and there was a scuffle and suppressed laughter. 'Mammal Mammal' cried Sue, but in vain, for of course 'mamma' was beyond range of hearing. Evidently Bob had an inspiration. He grabbed me and nearly doubled up in a spasm of silent laughter. I entered readily into his plans, and that night Fifty-one

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S Ly J THE ELK A FOUR DIMhNSIONAL PUPIL IN A THREE DIIVIENSIONAL SCHOOL From the moment that I 1tuus Fesseract X ers1era of I-Iyperspacevllle enrolled as a pup1l of the Sublunary H1011 School te lchers and pup1ls recog nmed the fact that no O1'Cl11I'I.I'y member had entered then' ranks Possessed of a hlgh mtelleetual forehe 1d and an eye of da7zlmg lJl'1ll12l11Cy he was smgled out as the student who xx ould make a n une for hrnasclf Obedlence to teachers and lox altx to the rules and regulatrons of the school xx ere marked LlI'1l Leter1st1cs of the puplls but Lltlllls lesseract Verslera xvas the xerx 211'1t1tlILS1S of the others 11'1 th1s respect X haughty contempt for evervthmg eonnec ted wlth the ll1Slf1tl1t1OlI showed 1tsclf 1n hrs every word and deed Ihe flrst att XVl11Ll1 sharply Cl1St1l1gL11Sl1CCl Lltuus from hrs fellow puplls octurred 111 the afternoon of the iarst day on the g1rls basketball court XS he was lY1SN1H0 he heard one of the players exclalm Thxs basket ball IS awfully d1rtv I ve trlcd to clean It but It doesn t do a IJ'l1't1LlL of good I XV1Ql1 some magxuan would turn lt 11lQ1ClC out I 1111.11.18 stepped up to the speaker and sald I m xt your serxlte She repl1ed Don t xx aste vour tl1'1'lC talkmg of the 1111lWObb1lJlC people xx ho are obsessed xx 1th suth lcleas as you express xx 1nd up 111 the 11IN'II'lC asylum Lxtuus promptly reyomed Phe 11151116 asylum was never bullt that can hold me Ile then plcked up the bxll and to the amazement of all spectators lt yan 1il'l6tl from slght and 111 a fractlon of a second reappeared transformed 111 exact accordante xx 1th the glrl s xxlshes l hose xvho d1d not see the act Hatly refused to bellexe a xx ord of xvhat those who d1d XV1t1'lCbS It related But the t1me was soon to tome The followmg day at the noon hour when the puplls were eatlng thexr lunch a bov was seen maklng a desperate but vam effort to draxx a cork from x bottle of grape yu1ce Several of hrs companxons attempted to assxst h1m but therr efforts xx ere as fruitless as hrs L1tuus saw h1m I can get your grape june out of the bottle xx 1tl1OL'lt extractmg the cork he sand Ihose xx ho beheld the basket ball feat of the precedxng day called for all the pL11W1lS on the ground to assemble and xx 1tl'1CS'i the mrracle Vxfhen all had SltlICI'CCl Lltlllls took the bottle LO1'1t211111l1g' the grape yxnce and another empty bottle and as 111 the ease of the basket ball both bottles xanlshed and then reappeared xx 1th the grape JUILC all transferred to the erstwhlle empty bottle and xv1th the cork of the OI'1g11I'1l bottle mtact A few m1nutes after the performance of the bottle feat he saw some boys trvmg to unt1e a number of comphcated knots IH a xvet rope not one of them was maklng anv headwav L1tl1L1S came ox er to where thev xx ere took hold of the rope turned lt ox er txx 1ce and exery knot Cl1S'113l eared I-Ie xvas noxx regarded by the xx hole school as a 1Tl'lgILlH1'l of the first order Ihe nexct day on the cadet drlll field the commandant sald to Lltlltlg Can you shoot a rlfle? X l1ttle I ltlllls sald and added You may be a better shot than I but I can do one tl'1llI0 1l1 rlfle shootmg that xou tan t do I can h1t the s1de of that barn ox er there by shootlng clear through you and the school xx on t have a l y s X3.LH.tlO11 on recount of It l he commandant was nonplussed at tl'l19 remark and demanded of the bov what he meant bv It I mean 111 pla1n Ilnghsh L1tuus sa1cl that I can shoot clexr through xou and the school xx1ll not hax e to be C.l1S11119SCCl to attend your funeral U Fifty three JN . BG 4 'N W- Q- Z ' 1 f, 13' Alf. I , 1 If 111 1' . Z an x' 1 . . - 4. 4 . . , - N. - 4 . c .4 . . c c Q - 1 y . n s 1 x 1 - - c , L, -I U , c s ' C L ... . c 5 c 2 c c 1 v 1 - c Q 7 ' ' c Z f A . sc 1 L Y V C S L 1 ., 1 ' ' ' 1 ' 1 'I 1 1 I ' a 7 c c - , . , . - s ' s ' ' l Alb' ' S I 'Q . 4 c X . 8 i . . A . . Y. . i A . . ' J , ...t . J ' l s. - 1 ' 1 ' ' ' 1 ' 1 ' 1 ' a A 5 C K 7 s L I ' 5 s Q . Q v ' ', ' 5 A, C - ' A . N 1- 1 . 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