Elk Grove High School - Elk Yearbook (Elk Grove, CA)

Page 53 text:

1-ji I, , .f, , 'tif ' I . , PHE EL In rx stil.- elgi il r i,3lg,lkf'f - :wwf had a very pretty daughter, Sue, considerably older than I or my clique. She was a 'college widow' and, of course, popular with the boys. ' I had a big, cozy room with French windows overlooking the porch. My chum, Bob Ralston, spent more time with me than he did at the frat house. We were always teasing Sue about her numerous beaux, but we derived an infinite amount of pleasure in playing pranks on a young professor, whose 'absence d'esprit was remarkablef and who was quite an attentive and ardent suitor. Incidentally, Bob and I were in his botany class. W'e invited them to go to a first-class show one night and Sue nearly died of mortification because of our audible comments concerning the resemblance of the villain to the professor. Then we parodied 'The Bull Frog on the Bank' and sang forty-'leven verses to her whenever we got a chance. VVe never entertained the professor with our grand operag however, I think some of the verses went like this :- Oh, the damsel on the step Ah, the teacher loved her trueg The teacher called the damsel His woozy-oozey-oo! Says the lover to the maid Oh, how I love you, dearg The maid, she said, You are too fresh, Her eye then dropped a tear. VVhy, I'm sure I've heard mother sing that song, interrupted Betty. Perhaps you have, asserted Mr. Caxton. Things were getting pretty fierce, he continued. VVe worked night and day hatching up new schemes to torment Sue and her admirer. One particu- larly beautiful spring evening when the lamp in the sitting-room burned low and sympathetically, we put an alarm clock under the settee. When it went off the Professor jumped a mile, grabbing at his coat tail, and Miss Sue climbed upon a chair and hollered bloody murder. The professor gallantly assured her that she was eminently safe under his protectiong and the next day she accused me of complicitv in the plot. I would admit nothing, but Bob and I resolved to lie low for a few days. Une hot evening Bob and I drew my lounge up to the front window and dropped our lazy lengths on it with a thud. It was a languorous, dusky, mys- tic night late in spring and we felt indolently indisposed to talk or even to think. Mrs. X. was dining out and Sue had gone to mail a letter. In a few minutes the latter returned with the professor in tow. , 'Let's stay out here: it's too hot inside,' ,Sue suggested. So they seated themselves on the top stepaof the porch, almost directly in front of our post of observation. They carried on a low-toned conversation: so we were not at all guilty of eaves-dropping. However, they occasionally raised their voices and now and then we could hear a detached dialogue. At length the professor, overcome by the charms of the lovely Sue, must have become a bit indiscreet. 'Behave yourself! I'll call mammal' cried Sue, and there was a scuffle and suppressed laughter. 'Mammal Mammal' cried Sue, but in vain, for of course 'mamma' was beyond range of hearing. Evidently Bob had an inspiration. He grabbed me and nearly doubled up in a spasm of silent laughter. I entered readily into his plans, and that night Fifty-one

Page 52 text:

ft' fr ' x ' Byrd, i f, e , THE F ELIx Aj' it ,i 4 ,lsr 4 , X In that case you probably manage to keep out of jail, Dargent interjectecl humorously. He was a tall, seriously benignant gentleman, who peered near- sightedly through tortoise-shell-rimmed glasses. How's the Mrs.? inquired Caxton. IVell--ah-I believe she is very well. I didn't-ah-bring her this time. But my daughter is with me and-er-I should-ah-like very much for you to dine with me tonight and meet her. Dargent spoke rather hesitatingly as if hardly knowing what to expect next. Delightedl But I can't come until about eight-thirty, as I've got to see old Ralston before I leave. ' Urn-well-er-l think that'll be all right. You know we are staying at the Fairmont. lt was quite evident that something was weighing on Dar- gent's mind, that he was unable to express some thought or feeling which demanded utterance. After exchanging a few commonplaces the two men separated, Caxton chuckling mischievously to himself as he continued his leisurely walk. From afar drifted fugacious flashes of jazz music. Betty stirred restlessly in her softly-upholstered porch chair. Dargent and Caxton were engaged in an animated contest of memories. Those were happy times! sighed Caxton, reminiscently. Didn't you ever do anything funny?', asked Miss Betty, concealing a yawn. I guess you've heard all these college yarns, Miss Betty. Seems as if I and Bob Ralston were always up to some trick, observed Caxton, turning to Dargent's daughter. VVere you, really? Didn't father ever do that sort of thing? asked Betty, her interest aroused. NVell, no, not exactly. f Caxton laughed. nllut you were the unhappy victim once in a while, weren't you, Dargent? Again Caxton laughed heartily. Er-ah-did you see Ralston tonight? How, ah-um-well, how long is he going to be here ? stammered Dargent. Yes, I had a chat with l1im and we walked over to Rand Street and saw the old frat house, replied Caxton. Guess it won't be there much longer. Do you remember- Really-ah-you must excuse me, Caxton, I just thought of a message I should have delivered to the night clerk. I shall endeavor to be back directly. I rather fancy that your father is suspicious of me, Miss Betty, remarked Caxton as his friend retreated hastily down the hotel veranda. Oh, I just know you've got a story to tell me, sparkled Betty, clapping her hands. It's a wonder you haven't heard it before. Believe me, you could not have lived long in Bancroft without being familiar with it. It seems to have an un- dying fame hereaboutsf' ' Maybe mother didn't know about it, suggested Betty, wheedlingly. VVell, if she didn't, Bob Ralston was never in hot water once in his life. You see it was like this. NVhen I started to college my mother was afraid I'd get the measles or something like that and neglect to tell her about it. She was awfully foolish about her only chicken and spoiled him to death. Her college chum, whose husband had been a college professor, lived here in Ban- croft: so mother put me under her wing. This lady,-we'll call her Mrs. X.,- Fifty

Page 54 text:

THE 'T' ELK the telephone in our room buzzed for about two hours, Bob and I working systematically in relays. Probably a class has never assembled so promptly nor behaved in so orderly a fashion previous to roll-call, as the botany class did the following morning. The professor stalked to his desk, searching with his right hand absent-mindedly in his pockets for his notes, which he was holding in his left hand. He could hardly believe his eyes when he saw Bob assume the char- acteristic pose of a yell-leader. As one man the class roseg as one voice the boys shouted, 'Mammal Mamma . Betty gurgled with delight and amusement. Oh, how funny! But who was the professor and did he marry Sue ? She was consumed with curiosity. - VVhy, of course they were marriedf' responded Caxton. Oh, here comes your father. I-Iave you got it all out of your system ? asked Dargent shamefacedly, but with an air of relief. Yes, but Miss Betty wants to know who the professor is, smiled Caxton. The professor blushed and grinned. I! H Oh daddy, it was vou ! and Betty shouted with youthful and spontane- 7 1 ous merriment. -D. F. VV., '20. AN ODE TO X Thou little imposter! For ages have I pursued you, Through tangled mazes of sines and secants, Into wildernesses of figures, and thence Over intricate layers of roots and powers. Thou givest me a pain! By means geometric, By efforts analytic, I have sought to spot thee, But all in vain. Thou always elude me, Thou slippery sinner! I thought I had thee, But, methinks thou art hidden Crouched behind the Binomial Theorem, Of which I know not of, peering at me Over the head of Euler's Formula, And a desolate waste of brain twisting memonica. O! Thou wretch! My lamp at midnight burns for thee. I need thee every hour, for little X, Wfithout thee, my marks, like thee, are uncertain values, In the linear equation of school life, , Wliere values sometimes cancel and disappear. Therefore, abide with me, and elude me not. J. B., '19- Fifty-two