Elk Grove High School - Elk Yearbook (Elk Grove, CA)

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v V ic .,.,,I.g, v A fry I FOR THE LOVE OF ST. PETER! St. Peter one day decided to come down from the sky to see how matters were progressing below. Lest the people on earth should recognize him, he donned a large black cloak, a white beard, and a shabby hat to cover his hoary hair. Enveloped in a cloud of mist, he soon reached the earth. After traveling about for several days he came, just as dusk fell, to an old house, situated on the outskirts of a large forest. Here was shelter for the night: so he knocked at the door and was immediately received by an old woman, who introduced herself as Mrs. Harley. After conversing with her about this, that, and the other thing, he went to bed, and was, the next morn- ing, shown great hospitality by his hostess. You have done me a great service. Any wish that you desire I shall ful- fill, he said on his departure. Ah, good sir, the woman replied, after thinking a while, I fear that it is impossible for you to fulfill my wish, but I will tell it anyway. My pear tree, the tree you see yonder, is my life and joy, but every year, when the pears are nearly ripe, the neighbor boys pull them off and eat them, so that when I wish to get some, they are gone. I will cure those boys, St. Peter announced after a moment's considera- tion. Then he departed. The following year, when the pears began to ripen, she saw several small boys going towards the tree, as they extended their hands and touched the delicious fruit. she perceived that they couldn't let go. They strained and struggled until pity moistened the old woman's eyes, and she cried aloud, For the love of St. Peter! Immediately the boys were released, and ran away to a place of safety. Everybody, from now on, who laid hands on that tree, was forced to writhe until the words, For the love of St. Peter ! were uttered by the woman, after which they were instantly free. One day as the woman was sitting at the window, Death, armed with his sickle, knocked at the door. Mrs. Harley, not knowing who it was, opened and permitted him to enter. Come with me, he said. As he uttered these words, she at once realized her danger and looked at him in startled fashion. I have, however. one request, before I go with you, she answered. See that pear tree? Go, fetch me one of those big juicy pears. After some arguing he went, and as all the other intruders had done, he clung to the fruit. All his desperate attempts to get free were futile and he hung there for many years. People were wandering about, headless, broken hearted, wasted by disease, suffering from broken bones, waiting in vain for Death. Cries of agony were heard everywhere, and at all times, far and near: there was no fear of Death. The earth became such a desert wilderness of woe that the woman was unable to suppress the charm any longer and slowly whispered, For the love of St. Peter! Death was forthwith liberated and with Mrs. Harley leading, followed by an army of sufferers, St. Peter con- ducted them to the gate of their celestial abode. -Anna Lohse, '20, Forty five-

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XA! f. f' If ---- v- GAG ' Wllflllllll 5-7 gif!! K g'.pu,q, fiillllfi' A e--w . Qrkwvlxf . 1.,g' wl was the most conceited man on earth and that she Wouldn't have anything to do with him at all, and refused to sew buttons on his primeval garments of ligleavesg so that Adam presented quite a dilapidated appearance when com- pany was present. In spite of the fact that she was so neglectful about her housewifely duties, Adam patiently overlooked her shortcomings much after the fashion of modern man. Says he, I gave her a chance to make good, and she has been raising Cain ever since. VVith those words he went over the path to the tree of forbidden apples and plucked down a nice big juicy one and took it to his worser half as a token of husbandly surrender. -Joseph Brugler, 'l9. , A MAN Wl1at a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the para- gon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man de- lights not me. FOR A Man Is Always:- Astoundingly asinineg Barbarously belligerentg Consummately conceitedg Dangerously diabolicalg Eternally exasperatingg Fervently fickleg G-racefully gallantg I'I'everlastingly hungryg Invariably inferiorg Justinably jealousg Knoyvingly knavishg Laughably learnedg Miserably mercenaryg Necessarily noisyg outrageously orclinaryg Personally peculiarg Quaintly queerg Really romantic 3 Sedulously selfishg Transcendentally tautologicalg 'Undisguisedly uncouthg 'Vulgarly vaing Wliimsically wheedlingg Xantliically xantheing Yearningly youthfulg Zealously zestful. -Ama N'Ater. Forty-four

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0- L ' -, ' J TH 11: F' EL It jxillnigxwjj ealiflilf W I , 'WW THE SOLILOQUY OF A BASEBALL I was disturbed so abruptly from my comfortable nap, that I was certain there was an earthquake. Then a very excited-looking creature snatched me roughly from my box and examined me closely. This ball is a dandy ! he shouted to the other boys. But instead of handling me with care, as I had thought all prized possessions were treated, he threw me swiftly through the air, a proceeding which almost took the breath out of me. Soon I stopped with a jolt in a mass of leather. I was extremely grateful, because it pro- tected me from a serious injury. I can still remember that first thrilling sur- prise, and how frightened I was. I remained there only a short time, hardly long enough to know where I was, when I found myself sailing through space with even greater speed than before. To show that I was offended, I fell straight down this time. One of the monsters thought it was his fault, and I heard him say, Next time I'll put more force into it. I wished then that I had been good. However, I was beginning to enjoy 1ny lightning-like trips when another cruel biped hit me a painful blow with a bat QI learned its name laterjg I found myself near the clouds, and came down more slowly this time. Landing in the not too soft leather I was saved from another dreaded fall. At the end of the next journey I hid in a clump of grass, not because I didn't enjoy my excursions, but because of the pain caused by the strikes. I rested there quite a while when I heard some one say, VVe must find that good ball. Thereupon I was picked up and the next time I wasn't hit with quite so much vim, but I struck the ground a little harder. Some one shouted, First ! Even then in all my distress, the wretch had no mercy and rolled me rapidly over the rough ground, which surely wasn't a very efficacious remedy for my bruises. Immediately I was much surprised when a huge brute sat on me there and almost completely buried me. This, seemingly, didn't bother the barbarian, but another young savage picked me up and hurled me harder than ever. I wondered why I was encountering all this harsh treatment. Then I couldn't hear myself think, for the boys were shouting like Comanches, We won, we won I A kind boy lifted me from the earth gently enough, only to throw me care- lessly in with the crowd of other baseball folk. I-le didn't even wish me a speedy recovery. That night at the baseball conference, we balls talked about the number of games we had won and lost. VVe thought it was ridicidulous for those youthful harum-scarums to claim all the credit for the victories, and not to give us any thanks. I wonder if those boys realize how many games they would win if it were not for us balls? one of my friends ended by remarking. -Pearl Wilsoii, '21, A SENIOR SEANCE One Act Farce Scene: Room 4, Elk Grove Union' High School. Time: Any noon hour. Enter Derril, I-Ielen and Jessie. QAll take various seats in 1'ear of room. I-lelen unfortunately flops into the one which collapses easily.j Jessie-VVell, here we are again. ' Helen-Yeh! what's the light going to be about this time? Derril-O, a mere trifle, simply the selection of our play. Helen-Good night! VVe might just as well make ourselves comfortable. Forty-six