Elk Grove High School - Elk Yearbook (Elk Grove, CA)

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XA! f. f' If ---- v- GAG ' Wllflllllll 5-7 gif!! K g'.pu,q, fiillllfi' A e--w . Qrkwvlxf . 1.,g' wl was the most conceited man on earth and that she Wouldn't have anything to do with him at all, and refused to sew buttons on his primeval garments of ligleavesg so that Adam presented quite a dilapidated appearance when com- pany was present. In spite of the fact that she was so neglectful about her housewifely duties, Adam patiently overlooked her shortcomings much after the fashion of modern man. Says he, I gave her a chance to make good, and she has been raising Cain ever since. VVith those words he went over the path to the tree of forbidden apples and plucked down a nice big juicy one and took it to his worser half as a token of husbandly surrender. -Joseph Brugler, 'l9. , A MAN Wl1at a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world! the para- gon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? man de- lights not me. FOR A Man Is Always:- Astoundingly asinineg Barbarously belligerentg Consummately conceitedg Dangerously diabolicalg Eternally exasperatingg Fervently fickleg G-racefully gallantg I'I'everlastingly hungryg Invariably inferiorg Justinably jealousg Knoyvingly knavishg Laughably learnedg Miserably mercenaryg Necessarily noisyg outrageously orclinaryg Personally peculiarg Quaintly queerg Really romantic 3 Sedulously selfishg Transcendentally tautologicalg 'Undisguisedly uncouthg 'Vulgarly vaing Wliimsically wheedlingg Xantliically xantheing Yearningly youthfulg Zealously zestful. -Ama N'Ater. Forty-four

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li'-If iv ' fwiw,,g'ffL f-.ffl THE ELK 1 Q' lltlv: 'll i I He supposed a water pipe was leaking, and so he called for a plumber. The latter arrived and, after a few moments' search, he discovered that Mr. Splasher had neglected to empty the dripping-pan under the ice chest. After laboriously wiping up the water, the would-be housekeeper con- tinued to cook his supper. The coffee was made, the pudding was simmering gently, and the skillet was hot for the steak. But when Mr. Splasher dropped the meat in, some of the lard splashed into the fire, and in a moment the whole frying pan was ablaze. I-Ie burned his hand, while distractedly running to the sink with his small conflagration, and gave vent to his feelings. Upon looking around, he saw the pudding boiling over. He hurried for a pang the mixture filled that pan and he ran for a second, a third, a fourth, and still another, until it had filled all the pans in the house. In perplexity he read the recipe again and found out his mistake. It required one third of a cup of sago and he had used a whole cup. The coffee was all that was successful, and so he went to the bread box resignedly to see what he could find. Poor Mr. Splasher's supper consisted of a sinker and a cup of coffee. The pile of unwashed dishes which confronted him looked as if he had served a regiment. In disgust he hunted for the soap and found a box which he thought contained soap-powder. Desperately he poured a whole cupful into the dish water only to have it stick to his hands. The box read, starch After washing the dishes, he sat down to read the evening paper. In about ten minutes, the clock struck half-past eleven, and with a yawn he prepared for bed. just as he was climbing in, the cat howledg he had forgotten to put it out. He went down stairs and stumbled around trying to find the blamed cat l I-Ie finally lit a match only to see Tom following behind him. The clock sounded the half hour after midnight when Mr. Splasher settled into bed for the night. It was an unusually long night too, for he had for- gotten to wind the alarm clock and slept two hours overtime. Before going to work, he sat down and wrote his wife a few words. The note read: Dear wife: Housekeeping is a 'snapf I cooked supper in ten min- utes and enjoyed the rest of the evening playing solitaire. Don't hurry home. Grinning, Mr. Splasher dropped it into a mail box. -Violet Ehrhardt, '22. THE ADVENT OF WOMAN In the hazy mist of bygone years, In the embryo stage of the world's career, From the nebulous slither of cosmic dust, That enveloped a young worldls outer crust, God took a handful, when time began, And after his image fashioned man. He gave him sunlight and the stars, And all the planets from Earth to Mars. Here Adam lived, life a glorious paean, In a garden of bliss-till Woman came! Well, Ma'am, everything changed after that, for that is when cosmos ended and chaos began. In spite of the fact that poor Adam donated a few ribs to the good cause, so that Eve could come into being on this eccentric sphere, she was always rubbing it in about how superior she was to the male popula- tion of the earth at that time. She seemed to ignore the fact that Adam was there first and, if it had not been for a kind condescension on his part, she would have to run around without her full quota of ribs. She said that he Forty-three

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v V ic .,.,,I.g, v A fry I FOR THE LOVE OF ST. PETER! St. Peter one day decided to come down from the sky to see how matters were progressing below. Lest the people on earth should recognize him, he donned a large black cloak, a white beard, and a shabby hat to cover his hoary hair. Enveloped in a cloud of mist, he soon reached the earth. After traveling about for several days he came, just as dusk fell, to an old house, situated on the outskirts of a large forest. Here was shelter for the night: so he knocked at the door and was immediately received by an old woman, who introduced herself as Mrs. Harley. After conversing with her about this, that, and the other thing, he went to bed, and was, the next morn- ing, shown great hospitality by his hostess. You have done me a great service. Any wish that you desire I shall ful- fill, he said on his departure. Ah, good sir, the woman replied, after thinking a while, I fear that it is impossible for you to fulfill my wish, but I will tell it anyway. My pear tree, the tree you see yonder, is my life and joy, but every year, when the pears are nearly ripe, the neighbor boys pull them off and eat them, so that when I wish to get some, they are gone. I will cure those boys, St. Peter announced after a moment's considera- tion. Then he departed. The following year, when the pears began to ripen, she saw several small boys going towards the tree, as they extended their hands and touched the delicious fruit. she perceived that they couldn't let go. They strained and struggled until pity moistened the old woman's eyes, and she cried aloud, For the love of St. Peter! Immediately the boys were released, and ran away to a place of safety. Everybody, from now on, who laid hands on that tree, was forced to writhe until the words, For the love of St. Peter ! were uttered by the woman, after which they were instantly free. One day as the woman was sitting at the window, Death, armed with his sickle, knocked at the door. Mrs. Harley, not knowing who it was, opened and permitted him to enter. Come with me, he said. As he uttered these words, she at once realized her danger and looked at him in startled fashion. I have, however. one request, before I go with you, she answered. See that pear tree? Go, fetch me one of those big juicy pears. After some arguing he went, and as all the other intruders had done, he clung to the fruit. All his desperate attempts to get free were futile and he hung there for many years. People were wandering about, headless, broken hearted, wasted by disease, suffering from broken bones, waiting in vain for Death. Cries of agony were heard everywhere, and at all times, far and near: there was no fear of Death. The earth became such a desert wilderness of woe that the woman was unable to suppress the charm any longer and slowly whispered, For the love of St. Peter! Death was forthwith liberated and with Mrs. Harley leading, followed by an army of sufferers, St. Peter con- ducted them to the gate of their celestial abode. -Anna Lohse, '20, Forty five-