Elgin High School - Husky Tracks Yearbook (Elgin, OR)

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A SKXK )K TMA(»K1)Y (By tiii: Little Moese in the Corner). Cast of Characters: Mr. Shoemaker...... I)r. Kirby......... Beatrice Littlefield Agnes Milne........ Ben Bush ---------- Hubert Brack .... Fulton Meade....... ..Chairman of the School Board ..Member of the School Board A Senior Committee Sent to Interview the School Board Scene—Dr. Kirby’s office. Period—March 20, 1012. Time of Representation—Thirty minutes. (The curtain discloses the doctor’s office with a large desk and chair in one corner, four chairs and two stools scattered about the I UVHII ) . l)r. Kirby, (leaning back in his chair and looking at watch): I do wish they would hurry! It’s the same old story ever year; but it won’t take long for ME to tell them what we'll do. (Enter Beatrice Littlefield). I)r. Kirbi : Come right in. I’ve been waiting for you. The rest of the School Board will be here by four. I suppose you have come to see how much money we are going to spend on this Senior class? Beatrice: Yes, sir; you know at commencement time there’s quite a little expense and we want to know just what you 11 do for us. Dr. Kirbi): Well, 1 can tell you very soon. First (counting.on his fingers), we will provide a place; second, a speaker; third, the diplomas. You must remember the diplomas are quite an expense, besides it costs TWENTY-FIVE CENTS extra for getting your names printed on them and then we furnish the ribbons to tie them with. Beatrice: But you gave the first graduating class quite a liberal amount? , Dr. Kirbi): Yes. we'll admit that, but we made fools of ourselves then. Beatrice: You gave the Bill class fifty dollars. Dr. Kirby: We did not. Beatrice: I don’t care, they said you did. (Enter Mr. Shoemaker). —23—

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“Barn Dances,” unless arrangements have been made with thine Eng- lish teacher, I lion shalt hereafter now and henceforth and forever sit on the I rout seat during all English recitations, never forgetting to wear a pious expression or an invisible halo. Thou shalt, in other words, be good, speak good English, (neither foul or profane) mind thine teacher, and be happy. Hoy E. Spencer, ’14. A I.KAk IN MENTAL KMSIORVOIliS In a certain head in tin year 1911 there were five reservoirs built. The first, the largest and most important of all. was named Algebra. Next came English, a nicely made reservoir, then came Physical Geog- raphy. General History came next in turn, followed by the smallest one named German. The reservoirs all stood in a row. During the first five weeks, all seemed to be standing their test as well as could be expected. But the sixth week a leak started in reservoir one, and Algebra began to drop to the ground. A plumber was called and he stopped the leak with a little home work. English, Physical Geography, General History and German looked like they were all right, so were not examined for an- other six weeks. At the end of that time Algebra was in second class condition. English, Physical Geography and General History in excel- lent condition, but German must have sprung a leak shortly after being examined, for it was nearly empty. The leak was put right, but the tank has not yet filled up. Bai.ph Milne, ’11. ----------o--------- 22

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Dr. Kirby: Hello John! Well, Bee and I have had a quarrel al- ready. Beatrice: No we haven’t. 1 have only been trying to get an esti- mate of what money we can expect from the Board for our commence- ment expenses. Dr. Kirby: Well, I’ve already told her we will supply the place, the speaker, and the diplomas. Beatrice: Mow about the programs? Will you supply them? Dr. Kirby: We will, if we see fit. That’s OUR business and you need not worry your head over other affairs not your own. How abnui it. Shoemaker? Shoemaker: That’s right. Doc. Dr. Kirby: You see this commencement exercise is an affair given by the Board. WE simply invite YOU to attend and be on time. While you are the chief actors of the occasion, nevertheless it is OUR affair. So, when the time is set, please be there, for when the SCHOOL BOARD gives anything we commence promptly, not a minute before or after. (Enters Agnes). Dr. Kirby and Shoemaker: Hello there! And what have you to say? Agnes, (laughing and taking a chair): Oh! we want some money. You see we’ve got a number of announcements to get and we wondered if you would help us pay for them. Dr. Kirby: We will not! The School Board intends to invite the public, one and all, rich and poor, great and small, thru' t ie Elgin Recorder. How about it. Shoemaker? Shoemaker: That’s right. Doc. Dr. Kirby: If you wish to announce the exercises to your friends that is your business and you will stand your own expenses. Agnes, (handing Dr. Kirby the announcement the class had chosen): This is what we picked out. Shoemaker: I don’t believe in invitations. They arc only sent to those from whom you expect to get a big present. Beatrice: But those are announcements, not invitations. Dr. Kirby: Well, I don’t think those are any more appropriate than something like this, (handing Agnes a soiled old hospital announce- ment). Of course, it hasn't that pretty little picture up in the corner, but it’s just as good and serves the purpose just the same. Beatrice: Well, but we’ve already picked on that and, as far as the Board paying for them, I assure you we were willing to pay for them ourselves. That isn’t what we come to talk about. IT’S HOW Ml (.11 you are going to give us for our other expenses at eommcnce- 24