Ela Vernon High School - Elyte Yearbook (Lake Zurich, IL)

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Ju:-me 6, :asa ZURICH DHILY PRESS P965 2- Two-Nmun: Nuts Track officials be- gan to investigate the two-minute mile run re- cently 'by LeRoy UThe Legn Kalkbrenner. When asked how he gained the sudden speed to break the record set by HThe Flying Parsonn, Gil Dodds in 1948, NThe Leg' said that the only thing that could have possibly given him the speed was the tooth paste he used the morn- ing he ran the race. It was a new atomic tooth paste.-secret for- mula U - 9.9996. WFeetsW Longrun, who crossed the finish line a few seconds after UThe Legu and was there- fore the closest to him, told the officials that he was able to discern strange sparks flying from his body, and that he saw several objects revolving swiftly a- round the top of Kalk- brenner's head. Dr. Pessis, who made a thorough examination of WThe Legn, said, UHe seemed to glow in the dark, and I got a shock when I touched him In If the fraud cannot be proved, Kalkbrenner will have run the mile faster than anyone to date, and probably for many track meets to come. V SIGN Gum. PLRYER The WBloomer Girls'U front office announced that they have just signed a new first base- man, Helen Gehrke. She has been considered one of the greatest finds in the history of girls' baseball. Last year, playing as an amateur for the Lake Zurich A.C, she batted in the clean up slot and had a sea- son batting average of .64O, plus a fielding average of 1000- Wms on n Hunan Irvin Christensen, famous man-about-town, today rose above the plane of mortal man. His almost uncanny skill in the Wsport of kingsv has netted him 8l52,645.82, the result of a lucky hunch, as he calls it. His faith in Miss Sue Schweda's horse, USouthern Comfortn, was rewarded when the horse came in first and paid 577 to l odds. Mr- Christensen is in the Wesner Memorial Hospital, recovering from shock. After he had passed two nights in a coma, the famous psychoanalyst Dr. Norma McDaniel was called in on the case. After an- other day of treatments Dr. McDaniel revived NChristyH with essence of licorice and pepper- mint drops. -EJNNE. SEEKS CROWN The ageless Joe Louis, who is going on 45, signed the contract to fight Dick Tonne, the '27 year old wonder boy, who has not lost a fight since he turned pro in 1952. In the last thirteen fights, Tonne has land- ed thirteen punches, all of them knock-out blows. This has earned him the well-deserved title of WOne-Punchn Tonne- The coming fight, which will be held at Square Garden Madison in the latter part of will probably August, draw a capacity crowd. The event will be co- vered byfreporters and attendants from the New York City Hospital and morgue. STHGS SIGN STRR One of Chicago's two pro basketball teams, the Stags, announced that it has signed a new forward, Wayne WZipH Sandman. The new rook- ie is said to be the deadliest shot in all basketball. He is con- sidered one of the best athletes ever -Pun tocmw from the town of Lake Burnett, which boasts many all stars, among them that ist, UOne We shall have to be patient until November, when we shall be able to observe WZip'sH hard- wood wizardry. rugged pugil- chu Tonne. Jocnsv Opens CHNDY Stone Bob Uwhizn Ladd, ex- Jockey, has opened a candy store which is lo cated at State and Madi son. Miss Sue Schweda, who has recently bought the Calumet Farms for which Uwhizn rode, was puzzled by Ladd's ac- tion, since he was vot- ed the best jockey of l954, and received this honor again in 1955. Calumet Farms is just one of the idle playthings of the mill- ionaire heiress, Sue Schweda. She is rapid- ly becoming known as Wthe queen of the sport of kings.W Rumors that WWhizN has turned bookmaker are without foundation. The wires that investi- gators have found lead- ing to and from his sweet meats emporium have no connection with turf news. WWhizW com- mented philosophically, WThis is a horse of a different color.U

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UNSF' L?A!T!:TYMR!Sf55 Pam clncuuaraom 11,000 ,rome 6, 1953 votums cvxn NUMBER 85- PLHN Heucoprsa Fnam Miss Phoebe Burnett, newly instated princi- pal of Ela Township High School, has taken bids before the Board of Education, headed by Miss Marjorie Buesching, for the proposed heli- -copter landing field. Upon consideration of the bids, the contract has been awarded to the Holst Construction Com- pany. The roofs of ten buildings on the high school campus will have fac- to be remodeled to ilitate arrival and de- parture of the helicop- ters. Room 201 in W0ld Mainn fthe former his- tory roomj, will be re- modeled as a control tower. CAll statistics show that students ne- ver did much but look out of the windows in that room anywayj. Part of the 312,000 needed for the comple- tion of the project will be raised next au- tumn when the students will raffle off a new atom - jet convertible helicopter. NThe field should be ready for use by the Spring of '6l,W said Holst, Uunless weather conditions are as bad as they were in the ter- rible winter of '49,- when the school was al- most inaccessible due to the partially com- pleted, but now obso- lete, driveway. Miss Burnett also announced that the board has approved the replacement of all win- dow bars by atomically wired curtains. CThe woman's touchl. J Dnscovsa Pneseavrmvs Miss Anita Stahl, head food economist for the Jewel Tea Company, has released to the press the results of the tests run on Miss Marlene Eide's food pre- servative discovery. Miss Eide, who is the chief chemist at Jewel Tea, after weeks of ex- tensive research, has finally ok'd the pro- cess for manufacturing. This new preservative will end all food spoil- age. In fact, it com- pletely petrifies the food. Miss Stahl said: WNQ longer need we wor- ry about butter becom- ing rancidg merely beat it with WEliumN fthe name Miss Eide has giv- en the new substancej, and serve. However, a jigsaw will be necessa- ry to cut it.H In the perfecting of WEliumH one wing of the Jewel Tea building was completely demolished by a mysterious explo- sion. Miss Stahl says she will probably leave Jewel Tea for a some- what safer position with the Anderson Meat Packing Company of Lake Zurich. PLAN HELICOPTER FIELD Ccontiduedj Miss Burnett also warns that unless the students cease jumping from the third story windows of the physics building, curtains will of necessity be put up there, too. Exrnn- Fuasul A news report nas been received from the metropolis of Mooco Uggoo, CSluuuuurrrrpD South Africa, that John UFrank Buckn Seemann has just been found by a primitive automobile caravan, which was re- turning from the heart of the jungle. WBuckW was reported missing two days ago, while he was hunting the Willy- Wah, a rare talking bird that is very dan- gerous at times. Dr. Jean Treder, head surgeon of the Mooco Uggoo hospital, told the press that Seemann's condition is serious, but not fatal to a man with a consti- tution like WBuck'sU. Moon Tam Ont Miss Anna Mae Lemm, press secretary for the John Evert Jet-Rocket Company, today released information concerning the proposed senior outing to the moon. The company will place its ace crew on this trip - Marilyn Richard- son as pilot, and Betty Deinlein as stewardess. The flight will be- gin on June 7 and the students will arrive home on June 16. Ela is the first school in the area to allow sen- iors to make the trip. Miss Richardson has just completed her 50th run to the moon as a pi- lot, and her third year working for John Evert. Miss Deinlein is exper- ienced in making the trip more comfortable for the passengers.

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L JUNE 6. H959 ZURICH DHILY PRESS pnggg AROUND THE -EDWN From far away: We have heard through lo- cal friends that Mr. and Mrs. Wayne Kritlow Cshe is the former Bet- ty Buschj are in Europe now and are spending three months on the Riv- iera. They will be home in Chicago on the third of September. Miss Juanita Pelz of our community recently won 520,000,000 by an- swering a question on a call from WHit the'Jack- pot'. Miss Patricia Shockey, head supervis- or for the Bell Tele- phone Company in the Chicago area, had the distinction of putting the call through from New York. We were all thrilled by having a celebrity in our midst. Mr. and Mrs. Cliff- ord Broad Cshe is the former Marion Wicker- sheimj attended the o- pening night of the Civ- ic Opera. WCarmenW was presented, starring Miss Marilyn Biere in the title role. This was Miss Biere's first appearance in Chicago since her remarkable success in New York three seasons ago. Miss Frances Rizzo has been awarded the contract for interior decorations for all the houses in the new Oben- auf Lakes project. Miss Rizzo's work is very highly thought of and can be seen in many of our local homes. Mr. Paul Obenauf has start- ed on his third lake re sort project in as many years. His real estate work 'has carried him all over the country, and we are glad to see him back in home terri- tory. AROUND THE TOWN Ccontinuedl Professor Harvey Pankonin, PhD, M.D, B.Q H20 and author of the recent best seller, NMathematical Muddlesn, has agreed to lecture before the Women's Club of Forest Cnot out of the woods yetj Lake on the subject of HWhat Being a Cheerleader Meant to My Career.U Miss Betty Jenkins, veteran sports writer for the Chicago Tribune, has given up her job to get married. CA smart girlj. She will make her new residence in Mundelein- Mr. Harold Gnoske, the owner of WHal's Cab Servicen, has taken an interest in local poli- tics. Reliable rumors have indicated that Mr. Gnoske will run for ei- ther District Attorney or Dogcatcher in the next election. .aj MUSICIHNS RETURN' WEHTHER New Rennes Richard Nelson has retired from his job with the Chicago Wea- ther Bureau after ten years of 1001 accuracy in predictions. His predictions have been, for each day: rain, sleet, snow, hail, or Illinois weather. Mr. Nelson was forced to re tire due to arthritis caught while out test- ing the rind with a wet finger. His position will be filled by Miss Nancy Frederick, who promises a new regime in weather forcasting. She. will use new me- thods, such as aching corns, and Lake Zurich inhabitants will now know when not to carry umbrellas. FITCH HUGGLERS Sally WPistol Pack- in'N Phelps, agent of the U.S. Treasury De- partment, and William Brown, ex-drummer and bandleader, who is now working for the secret service, told newsmen at a press conference today that they had caught two men in the act of smuggling con- traband goods into the United States. The two sleuths, with the aid of wrist radios and bloodhounds, traced the men to an abandoned mine shaft, where they made the arrest- In appreciation for their services, the government has, given promotions to Miss Phelps and Mr. Brown. HSSH Cuscaden and his sensational dance band, known all over- the United States, have- just returned from a four months' stay in Brazil. Mr. Cuscaden organized his band only two years ago, after' closing his macaronil factory. The two mu-L sicians who are chiefly responsible for the di tinctive type of music played are uCalN Luce on the oboe, and Bob Harkness playing the flute. Mr. Thomas Regan, the wealthy advertising magnate and owner of television station ZWAX has signed a contract for HBBN and his bandt to work in the studios of ZWAX as sound gf, fects men. 7