El Paso High School - Cometeer Yearbook (El Paso, IL)

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Back in the year 1957 A.D. Miss Nessel ventured into the unknowns of Africa in quest of the extinct Do-Do bird. Twenty years have now passed since that fateful day when Miss Nessel left the country. However. a week ago a flash bulletin over T.V. announced Miss Nessel's return in her space ship with a Do-Do bird in captivity. In tribute to Miss Nessel for her accomplishments, the Society for the Preservation of Extinct Do-Do Birds Living in Africa. furniAed her an expense paid trip around the United States in a luxurious non-stop T.P.S. spaceship. The following is the diary that Miss Nessel kept on her trip around the United States. June 1, 1977 - Today I boarded the wonderful Trans-Planetary Space-liner. After what seemed like hours, the ship finally took off. With an awkward jolt, it leaped into the air skillfully maneuvered, as I discovered later, by Terry Vandegraft, the pilot. The Stewardess, Peggy Moritz. awoke me from a short doze and informed me that we were approaching New York City. After leaving the customs office, I noticed a sign announcing the coming of Joe Jenkins, the greatest rock and roll artist of the 1970's. There has been an upspurt of rock and roll since twenty years ago when Elvis Presley was fatally wounded in the Battle of Rock and Roll vs. Cal-ypso. I first went to the Sutler Hotel and signed in for my one night’s suy. Then I took a stroll down towards Times Square. Since it was near dinner time, I stopped at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel, which is noted for its fine food. Mildred Byrd, the waitress, took my order. Having found the food distasteful, I put in a complaint to the chief cook, Fred Leenhouts. Fred, the “king of the culinary art“ of New York City, has been cooking since he left good old El Paso High. I left the hotel en route for Carnegie Hall where I would see the great Katherine Kearney, now a famous ballet dancer. June 2, 1977 - This morning I looked for a dentist's office in hopes of finding relief for my toothache. I finally came to the Stoller Dental Clinic, which is one of the most famous clinics in the world. Upon entering Dr. Stoller's waiting room, I immediately recognized Jackie Byrd, a very competent Certified Public Accoununt. She informed me that the patient just ahead of her was Bob McKinley who was having a few badly chipped teeth extracted. It seems that a little spat between him and his wife got out of hand, and he bit her. Although she is suing for malicious attack and neglect, things look favorable for Bob because he has hired the famous criminal lawyer, John Dodson to defend him in court. After I received satisfactory treatment, I left the clinic and flagged the nearest taxi, which, to my surprise, was driven by ace driver Dean Weber. I Informed him I was in a hurry to reach the space port where I was to board a space ship for Chicago, but I didn't intend for him to run four stop lights, scrape one car, and nearly hit two pedestrians. I made it on time and we were off. In the afternoon I attended the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to hear Ruth Ann Morris, first chair flutist, who was the outsundlng soloist of the concert. As I was passing Wallgreens, I decided to buy some magazines. A story in the Saturday Morning Post entitled Dorthea Dix II , caught my eye. It told of the greatest reformer and social worker of our present decade. Miss Virginia Morris, who has succeeded in carrying out a great prison reform plan for the city of Chicago. On the literary review page of Looked. Mr. Harold Alford, the renown critic of the day, had several articles in criticism against novelists and columnists. He especially seemed to be criticizing Miss Mary Haas, who is the writer of the Molly Mayfield Column on Advice to Teens. As I scanned the daily newspaper, I saw an ad by Norma Schopp, “Wanted: Male Correspondents. She always did enjoy letter writing. I decided to spend the evening watching T.V. This was the night for my favorite program Medic. Dr. Robert H. Pierce, having received his Dr. of Medicine degree at Bryn Mawr, has reached the height of his ambition. He does the commercials for the Stainless Steel Knife Co. Alberta Charlett. who was the first girl to graduate from Wabash, is his assistant. They are looking forward to the day when they will have the leading roles on this program. At 10:00 p.m. there was news. The latest news was about Dr. Richard Brown and Dr. Donald Hartter. who both received their Dr. of Science degrees at Eureka College. They have been experimenting on a more powerful nuclear fuel which, they hope, will enable a space ship to reach Pluto and return. Dr. Robert Brown is designing and con-strucing a ship that will be able to endure this trip. Veryl Bemhardy, who has been piloting interolanetary ships for the last ten years, is to be the pilot. After hearing repons of beautiful women on Pluto, Dennis Parkhouse Immediately volunteered to go as an interperter, even though he doesn't understand a single Plutonian word. Upon changing channels. I happened to catch the last ten minutes of Marlene Rostet-ter's T.V. program Cooking is Crazy. She uses nothing but Betty Porter recipes. Betty just recently took over Betty Crocker. June 3, 1977 - I am now in my space ship safely on my way to Hollywood. I settled back to read the space paper for a few minutes. The headlines related that Jim Riker. owner of the Interplanetary Oil Production Corporation, had just drilled three thousand more wells on the cold side of the Moon, but he can't get the oil to the ground because it freezes on the way. Jim also owns the entire Mobil Gas Company. Bill Colburn, former 6 11 star center for the Caterpillar Cats, is now the owner and manager of the Cats. Tonight they are scheduled to play the Phillips 66 team in hopes of winning their 59th straight game. As I laid the paper aside, I noticed a familiar looking, middle-aged man. who was peering at different individuals on the ship. Upon inquiring. I was told that the man was Dr. James Rice, a famous psychiatrist who was making a study of the human race, which was to include those people living on Mars. Upon reaching Hollywood space port. I hailed a taxi to take me to Paramount Studios. A familiar looking lady, who was occupying the taxi with me, began talking. She was trying to persuade me to buy a pair of purebred French Poodles. When we reached her huge estate. I noticed the sign above the entrance. It read Tobein Tegard - French Poodles. Paramount was in the process of filming a new picture. Verna Armstrong. the leading actress, complicated the filming by falling in love with the Art Director. John Benedict. She would not make love to Jack Bagby. the leading actor, for fear of losing John. The Producer, Everett Fletcher, solved the whole problem by firing both Verna and John. Jack became the new Director, and he and Everett Aimed an entirely new picture giving themselves the leading roles. Since I had not had breakfast, I stopped at the Brown Derby, hoping that I might see some movie stars. Much to my surprise the waitress, who took my order, was Marilyn McHugh. On the way to Padasena, we passed Puzzy's Used Cars. Could that have been—no it couldn't be. Just the same I asked my guide to turn around. As we pulled in the car lot, sure enough, out came Bill Grubb to meet us. After reminiscing with Bill for a while. I left for the Rose Bowl game at Pasadena. This year Illinois and U.C.L.A. were playing. At halftime there was a fine performance by the Illinois band, directed by Miss Nancy Wilkey. who in her college years, was a drum major. Allen Harroun. coach of the Illinois team, had the team in fine shape. At the half it was 80 to 0. The entire team played like Coach Harroun did back in 1962, when he made All-American Pullback. I must also comment on the Cheerleading squad for Illinois. Lois Stokes, head Cheerleader Instructor at the University of Illinois, taught them everything they know. On the way back to Hollywood, we passed the moat famous goat farm in the world. It is owned and operated by Thomas Malcom. who lives on a strict diet of goat’s milk. We also passed Patricia Reinkensmeyer, in her huge limousine, who was selling Sun Tan Lotion in the middle of Death Valley. She had become a multimillionaire. In the afternoon, I went down to Long Beach where June Waters, head instructor of life saving education, was giving her students a workout. Her assistant Blanche Geiselman. was giving diving lessons. I stopped at a Swim Supply Store on the beach to find, much to my surprise, that it was owned by Virginia Jording. Deciding to fix my own dinner in my hotel room, I went io the Kroger Store. I was told by one of the clerks that Doris Patton was not only the owner of that store but also of a vast string of Kroger Stores. That evening, in the show room of the hotel, I watched Miss Clara Finck model the latest Paris Fashions. June 4, 1977 - Today I landed in the last city of my trip, Houston. First I visited the largest cattle ranch in Texas owned by Kenneth Porzel-ius and Robert Clements. On the ranch adjacent to theirs was Donald Moushon's Rocking D. Don became a very famous man when he crossed a com stalk and a bean plant to produce succotash. And so ends the diary. —16—

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JUNIORS B. Busker P. Cryer R. Arbuckle D. Armstrong K. Aucutt K. Blackmore J. Byrd A. Carmen T. Colburn B. Crump J. Cruslus M. Duncan K. Edwards G. Evans R. Evans M. Farney