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Page 28 text:
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cu Wite I, Bruce Adams, leave my terrific speed to Bob “Turtle Schertz. I, Bill Armstrong, leave my taxi business to Dick Finck, who has lower rates than I do. I, Grant Armstrong, leave my love for hill-billy music to Mr. Dial. I, Milford Armstrong, leave my yodelling ability to Don George. We, Marguerite Beachey and Mary Lois Vogel, leave our companionship to Delores Peters and Cora Lou Treece. I, Delores Bohlander, leave the “Boh-lander position of the Senior roll open for Marilyn Bohlander to fill in a few years. I, Phyllis Carls, leave my quiet manners to Bob Marten. I, Nancy Carroll, leave, finally. I, Dean Co , leave my history book to any junior who wants it. It’s in excellent condition, since I seldom used it. I, T. Ann Coyle, leave my record of four years of cheerleading to Jane Stitt. I, Dorothy Engel, leave my abundant supply of hair to Mr. Maurer who may need it some day. I, Joyce Fever, leave my athletic ability to Dorothy Lou Toole. I, Elaine Gottel, leave my height to Glenn Meiner. I, Francis Hass, leave my show drawl to Robert Krug. I, Tony Hayse, leave my deep voice to Bob Moore. I, Beverly Hecht, leave my job as pianist in chorus to Russel Smith. I, Shirley Hunsinger, leave my A’s in American History to anyone who wants to study. I, George Johnson, leave, to the relief of everybody. I, Eugene Jording, leave my membership for the Book-of-the-Day Club and my regular trips to the library to anyone who can find time to read all the books I take out. I, Cheri Kammerer, leave my first and second names, Sherrill La Von, to anyone who will take them. I, Fred Kesler, leave my ping-pong playing ability to Delmar Wessel who really doesn’t need it. I, Keith Kilpatrick, leave my position as high jumper on the track team to Helen Hicks. I, Velda Krug, leave hoping Kenny is out-in front. I, Marilynn Kurth, leave my ticklishness to anybody and everybody who has ever tickled me. What horrible revenge! I, Donna Letsinger, leave my flirting habits to Florence Epps. I was just kidding Bill. I, Gene Massey, leave my speed in leaving school as soon as the bell rings, to Don Volz. I, Dorothy Miller, leave for the produce house. I, Marilynn Porth, leave my tremendous size??? to Lorene Bess. I, Jo Remmers, leave with Walter Ny-berg, of course. I, Lee Robbins, leave a test tube of half burned sulfur and candle-wax in my cabinet in the Chemistry lab. I, Glenn Schertz, leave my red hair to anyone who wants to stand out in a crowd. I, Phyllis Schertz, leave my job at Hockers to—wait, I may need it myself. I, Betty Stine, leave contentedly. Come on John! I, John Sutton, leave my dancing style to Wally Furrow, who isn’t too bad himself. I, Dean Thom, leave Pat Etscheid with much regret. I, Mary Ann Volz, leave, destination--school and teaching position, or farmer's wife. 1, Carol Wessel, leave my position in band to some grade-school student to fill. I, John West, leave my temper control to Ben Bohlander We, Eunice and Yvonne Wilkey, leave dear old E. H. S. to confuse other people we meet. 22
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Page 27 text:
“
C faSA f- roph ropnecy. Early in the spring or 1950 a national and much- OISCUSSED CONVENTION WAS HELD IN THE STATE CAPITAL, El Paso, for the purpose or electing a President or the United Comics. The convention was about to GET UNDER WAY, BUT CHAIRMAN SUPERMAn WAS DELAYED because he had been called to the aid or the Queen Mary , which had been rammed by Little Toot and WAS RAPIOLY SINKING. Sup REPORTED THAT HE CARRIED The Queen to safety. The anxiety or the conventioners was somewhat quelled, however, when Brenda Star arrived to cover the convention. Gossip columnist, Tessie the Typist flooded her typewriter when she saw Brenda arrive on Red Ryder s horse. Tessie's romance was shattered. Her sorrow was turned to joy, however, and the whole convention cheered when Little Herbie rose and announced that he and Little Lulu WOULO MARRY AS SOON AS Lulu COULD RENT A FARM. Herbie already has the house--—a Spanish adobe MODEL. The convention was called to order, ano nominations WERE MADE FROM THE FLOOR. VISUALIZING THE SUMPTUOUSNESS OF THE BLACK HOUSE MAGGIE IMMEDIATELY NOMINATED jlGs FOR PRESIDENT, BUT jlGS DECLINED THE NOMINATION WHEN ATTORNEY SMOKY STOVER REMINDED THE GROUP THAT AN AMENDMENT TO THE COMIC-STUTION PROHIBITED THE COOKING OF CORNED BEEF AND cabbage in the Black House. Dagwood was pleaseo WITH THE jlGs WITHDRAWAL, AND HE IMMEDIATELY ROSE AND NOMINATED HIMSELF. BAGGIE DIDN'T HAVE THE AF-FA I RS OF STATE IN MIND, BUT HE FELT THAT ON A PRESIDENT'S SALARY, HE COULD MAKE BIGGER AND BETTER SANDWICHES. Blondie RESCUED the NATION FROM COMPLETE RUIN, HOWEVER, WHEN SHE TESTIFIED THAT HER AMBITIOUS HUSBAND COULD NEITHER READ NOR WRITE. FLUFFY Adams HEARD ONLY THE WORD SANDWICH AND DEC I DEO THAT THE CONVENTION SHOULD RECESS FOR LUNCH. FLUFF WAS CONCERNED ABOUT HER WAISTLINE. SINCE SHE AND STATESMAN Buzzy hao a falling out, Fluff was eating ONLY EVERY OTHER HOUR NOW. Since the chosen restaurant was across town Mary Marvel and her partner Flash Gordon offered to FLY THE GROUP OVER IN THEIR NEW COMET SKY SERVICE. The Service is obviously a profitable one, because Flash is drawing up blue prints for a new and more exquisite Kemp-Majal to be dedicated to his wife. Mary is making plans for the purchase of the Iron-Curtain. Rumor has it that she and Stalie are chummy , shall we say. Upon arrival at Wild Rose's Tame Thorn Garden Cafe the convention was much pleased to find that THEY WERE GOING TO BE ENTERTAINED WITH A FLOOR SHOW. It was an extremely successful show. Hedy DeWolfe THRILLED ALL THE WOMEN GUESTS WITH LATEST FASHIONS from Kappa. Dick Tracy modeled his new diamond-set BADGE WITH A HIDDEN RAZOR FOR LONG AND SLEEPLESS DETECTIVE JOBS. DICK IS NOW DEEPLY INVOLVED TRYING TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY OF WHO PUT THE POISONED THUMBTACK on Senator Claggett's chair. The guests were HILARIOUSLY ENTERTAINED WHEN THE FAMOUS DANCER HENRy ROSE AND GAVE A SOFT SHOE DANCE TO THE TUNE OF Rio Rita . The group then divided into two groups. The ladies found their way to the Gold Room where author Daisy Mae gave an interesting and usable LECTURE, How TO CATCH YOUR Man . Daisy IS CONSIDERED A FOREMOST AUTHORITY ON THIS SUBJECT. THE MEN ADJOURNED TO THE PURPLE ROOM WHERE L.IL Abner ADVISED THEM. HlS TOPIC WAS THESE WILD, WILD WOMEN ’. Professor Abner won the coveted Tate Award for THIS INTELLIGENT DELIVERY. THE PROGRAM WAS CLOSED WITH A WILD WEST ROUND UP GIVEN BY ROY ROGERS AND HIS FAMOUS HORSE TRIGGER. THE CROWD PROVED TO BE too much for Trigger. He seemed to be in such a nervous STATE, THAT SMILIN Jack LEFT THE CONVENTION TO FLY HIM TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL. LITTLE IODINE and Little Imogene provided transportation back to THE CONVENTION ON THEIR ROCKET POWERED TRICYCLES. Everyone agreed the ride was very breathtaking. Superman called the group to order again, and the Merry-go-round began. Nominations from the floor were in order. Jug Head was out of order, however, AND HE WAS ASKED TO LEAVE THE CONVENTION. HE WAS MAKING UNCOMPLIMENTARY FACES AT COOKIE WHOSE candy he had stolen. He was asked to report to Brig Hall where Psychologist Mary Worth was ON HAND TO PUT HIM ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW. Nominations began again, but the process was BROUGHT TO A SCREECHING HALT WHEN OLIVE Oil A RECORDER, FOUND HER LEGS LOCKED IN COMBAT WITH HER CHAIR. DR. SLUGGO WAS CALLED, AND HE DEEMED AN amputation necessary. Now the chair has only three legs. The accident yielded results, however. Slug-go and Olive Oil are a new twosome, seen nightly at Boots's Saddle Shoe Rendezvous . Sup called order again, and the conventioners WERE DETERMINED TO COMPLETE THE PROCESS. SmITTy , BETTER KNOWN TO THE CONVENT I ONERS AS WASTE PAPER Basket Smith , nominated the Katzenjammer Kids for President. The foresighted w.P.B.S. argued THAT IN CASE OF TROUBLE, ONE TWIN WOULD BE ON HAND TO TAKE OVER PREXY DUTIES. SMITTy HINTEO INTIMATELY TO A FRIEND THAT HE ALSO HAD MASTER OF THE BlACK House in mind. Willis opposed the nomination and RETALIATED BY NOMINATING FRITZIE , LIGHT OF HIS life. Willis believed that with all Fritzie's BEAUX, SHE WOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE OFF WITH A COMPLETE CABINET. Competition grew, and Archie was not to be OUTDONE. He IMMEDIATELY NOMINATED MOPSy FOR President, and Teena for Vice President. He admitted FRANKLY, THAT HIS IDEAS WERE BaRKLERIAn IN MANNER. Nancy , the well-dressed woman of the year, GREW TIRED OF THE PROCESS ANO MOVED THAT NOMINATIONS BE CLOSED. SLUGGO SECONDED THE MOTION. PATSY Walker , daughter of the famous Hiram Walker, was APPOINTED TO COUNT THE VOTES. WHEN THE BALLOTING WAS FINALLY TABULATED, THE RESULTS WERE. Presidents.......... Katzenjammer Kids Vice President................... Teena Secretary .................. Olive Oil Treasurer ...................... Penny The convention ended with a satisfied group. A PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE OLD PURPLE, WHITE, AND GOLD WAS GIVEN, ANO THE COMET SPANGLED BANNER WAS SUNG. 21
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