Edwin Vare Junior High School - Pilot Yearbook (Jackson, PA)

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CRAZY CIRCUS The Benstein, Bawacka, Beckhauser and Bink Brothers Cir- cus was just unloading in a small micl-eastern metropolis on a balmy spring day in the year of 93,000 B. A. C. twhenever that wasl. Hey, Smiley, come herelll All over the joint whenever anyone wanted someone to do anything for them they called little Smiley. tBoy what a dope; there must be an easier way to make a livingJ One dark, dark evening, just about the darkest evening ever tGee this sounds like a ghost storyl, Smiley was walking along outside the managerts tent, when he heard the voice of the manager refusing to open the safe. Then a soft sweet voice of a man threatened to kill the manager if he did not. What would you do if you were in the same position as Smiley? Would you try to capture the thief single-handed? Would you run for help? Well, Smiley ran but not for help. He ran so fast and so far that no one ever again heard of little Smiley of the Benstein, Bawacka, Beelihauser and Bink Brothers Circus again. tTis rumored: Benstein, Bawacka, Beckhauser and 13in Brothers are thinking of selling the circus to the Quattle, Quimby, Quintavalle and Quirk Brothers. MATTHEW GOODBODY, 9B1. Vk DOCTORSeBAH! I was just arriving at Dr. Snozzlepussi Charming waiting room where the cushions t1 later learnedl were stuffed with wood splinters. Walking in, carefree and happy, I heard a scream from the doctors office. All my happy feelings vanished and I sank down in a cushion when, Ouchl tHa, ha, silly of me to screamj Sitting in an awkward position I watched the faces of the doctorls patients. They were all pale; to say nothing of the different sighs and groans I heard once in a while. We all sat there a few hours when a woman decided to offer her seat to an old man who was just strolling in. Another gentleman stood up and offered the lady his seat, a boy asked the man to take the seat he had, the old man who started all this rumpus offered the boy his seat. This went on several times until it was getting very boring. It finally ened up with the old man sitting in the boys lap, the lady sitting in the gentlemanls seat, and the man was sitting on the floor, be- 15 film 37w

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it was his heart. uLittle boy, said he, tfwhere did you develop such a strong chest? Well, said Abner, Hl had the measles and the Chicken pox and scarlet fever and the big mumps. That's why I have a strong outgrown Chest.U No, said the doctor, It's something else. Abner thought for five whole minutes; then he managed to say, I had when I was very small e-p-e-d-e-r-m-i-s because I never washed my face. The doctor decided to give Abner a thorough examination. Off with the shirt, he said to Abner. Of course, Abner tried to find an excuse, but couldnlt think of anything to say, so he took off his shirt. The book fell out, and the doctor said, Aha, that was your strong chest. The doctor picked up the book and examined it. Where did you get this? he asked. We-elel, said Abner, I geOet itea I meanel made aeaeae mistake and instead-of-taking my own book, I took the teachers roll book. The doctor sat down and started to laugh. Then he asked Abner, Why did you hide it in your shirt? Well, said Abner, YOUesee, its like this. The teacher threatened us if she found the book, so you see, I had nothing else to do, but hide it and play sick. I'm sorry, said the doctor, we will have to give Miss Brown her book back. No! said Abner, Please donlt, I have a penny and a half left from breakfast, if you want it. Miss Brown will have to have her book back, repeated the doctor, and you will have to give it to her. Abner pleaded, but to no avail. He picked up the book and went up to Miss Brown. Miss Brown, he said, I made a mis- take and took your roll book. Pm sorry. Miss Brown gave a growl, squared her jaw, and stared at Abner. Her eyes bored. like gimletSeBLACKOUTth, poor Abner McCarthyl Poor little boy! ADELE CAPOLUPO, 9A1. 5352 .Tilat 14

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cause the vacant Chair was occupied by what we call now a human beanpole. After waiting several more hours, the patient the doctor was working on came out. He had the astounding color of white, the suit he had on was a strange red. After limping out of the office, the doctor came out with instruments intending to show us how to prevent the gallblader from getting to the feet. He took out his tools which were a hammer, chisel, saw and crow- bar. Of course, when the patients saw this, there was a very strong wind, and everybody disappeared including me. MARIE LOMBARDI, 783. it TRICKS DON'T PA Y HE captain looked at Jimmy as he prepared to descend the gangplank. I'Iim, he called, I wouldn't take that dummy along if I were you. These African natives are very super- stitious. They might cause some trouble. nOh phooey, thought Jim, I can take care of myself, I'm not a baby. With that Jim walked away from the ship and diS appeared into the African jungleewith his dummy, Buddy, under his arm. A few minutes later Jim found a comfortable spot in a grove of palm trees and started to hold a conversation with Buddy. Almost immediately a crowd of curious natives gathered around them. ltBuddy, did you have your lunch today?U asked Jim. Sure, I had a hundred things to eat, came the reply. A hundred things to eat? Thatts impossible. uOh, is it? I had a hundred things to eat just the same. nIs that so? What were they? A big plate of baked beans. The natives watched, their mouths wide open. Do you want to hear a poem, Jim? asked Buddy. lfO. K'Jt tlSome men smile in the evening, Some men smile at dawn, But the man worth while Is the man who can smile, When his two front teeth are gone. fifie Elect 16