Edwards Central School - Hornet Yearbook (Edwards, NY)

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CLASS PROPHECY As we travel around the Earth in our own private space jalopy, we recall the 1958 Senior Class of Edwards Central School, which we were a part of. This is the year of 1968. As we entered the outskirts of the Planet Mars, we see a familiar face. It is Bill G. He has finished his studies at ATI and is now making millions, patching holes in the Big and Little Dippers. We always knew he would go a long way but not quite so far. We travel into the city of Mars and we meet Elaine A. She has married Weldon K. and he is producing his supply of space ships which he is using in his space-control unit. A few light years past Mars we come upon a beautiful space mansion. Oh no! Of all things there is a Ranchero in the drive. On the mailbox is the name “James and Betty Wood’’. Betty hasn’t succeeded in getting Jim to sell his Ranchero yet. Next door is the most run-down old shack I think I have ever seen and in the drive is the most beautiful Space Rod anybody could ever own. Fred Chapin lives here. He still thinks you should own a beautiful car and just have a roof over your head to keep your hair from getting wet. We travel a little way farther and we see a low, ranch-styled house and Patricia M. is sitting on the moon porch getting a moonburn. We see her husband out back weeding the sun flowers. It’s hard to make out who he is. We travel ‘round the Earth once and more faces are coming into view. As we pass Pat- ricia’s house again we see who is weeding the sun flowers. It is Wayne LaPlante. We knew he would follow Pat but not into the stratosphere. We travel past Mars on to Mercury. Here we see Sally T. who has come here to get away from the boys. She is still waiting for Roger, but will still have to wait for another 15 years because he is staying in the Army until his 25 years are up. On the other side of Mercury we see Larry M. has started his own bowling alley and he has sun-ray pin setters. No more back-breaking pin setting for him. Back to earth we go. We see Alice B. has married Jerry. No space living for Alice. She is the country type of girl and is proud of it. She has her large family. Ten to be exact. We go outside of Edwards toward Scotland and we see Roddy W has taken over his father’s farm. He hasn’t a worry in the world. He just sits back and watches the Mars men do his work. This is Roddy’s way of modern farming. A new highway is being put through Edwards and Don G. is the head of it. Don always said he’d do it, “even if it meant taking his father’s job away”. Now for a trip to Talcville which has been taken over by girls with one boy at the head. That boy is none other than Jim A. As we leave Talcville we meet Sally W. She wanted to go to Mars, but hasn’t landed a certain blond classmate. She was never the girl to give up and she is still trying. We go back into outer space and we meet Hannah S. coming back to Earth. She has married a millionaire from New York who settles problems between the other planets and Earth. She spends her summers on Earth and winters on Mercury. We meet Virginia on our travels and she isn’t married yet. She just can’t seem to make up her mind as to what she wants in a man. Also, we meet Karen H. a little between planets trying to remember which planet she lives on. Still a scatterbrain. On her finger is a wedding band -- there wasn’t anything to worry about after all. The last face that appears is that of Donna L. She has five men on the line; but can’t seem to make up her mind which one to take, she always said that she wanted to get “the right one”. Money, brains, looks and love.” As we leave the atmosphere on our return flight to Earth we run out of fuel and come to rest on the Milky Way. 19 The Little Green Men

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CLASS WILL We, the class of 1958 of Edwards Central School, being of unsound mind and body, do here ordain and affirm this document, our last will and testament. I, Sally Typhair, leave my pint size to Sharon Hart. I, Fred Chapin, leave my knowledge of back roads to Boyd Webb. I, Jim Allen, leave my good looks to Fred Lennox. I, Wayne LaPlante, leave my mechanical draw- ing ability to Bobby Sykes. I, Don Guidie, leave my Guidiecopter to Bill Adams so he may fly to Gouverneur. I, Elaine Aldrich, leave my position as vale- dictorian to some deserving junior. I, Sally Whitmarsh, leave my inexhaustible sup- ply of gum to Nancy Todd. I, Roddy Watson, leave my evil thoughts to Randy Mayer. I, Karen Hurley, leave Joanne Grant a car to go with the keys she got for Xmas. I, Donna Lutz, leave my ability to get out of Mrs. Hughes’ study hall to Margaret Rohde. I, Betty Wood, leave my ability to do as I please to Keith Goodheart. I, Bill Goodheart, leave my driving ability to Allen Rowe. I, Alice Brown, leave my changeable disposition to Patty Cameron. I, Hannah Sullivan, leave my quiet ways to Lil- lian Aldridge. I, Virginia Matejcik, leave all my boy trou- bles to Goldie Shore. I, Patricia Mullaney, leave my ability to get along with the teachers to Guy Watson. I, Larry Mantle, leave my praised front seat in World History to some other lucky student. We, the class of ’58 leave the Juniors less conceit and more compatibility. We, the class of ’58 leave the Sophomores our ability to ’’goof” off. We, the class of ’58 leave the F reshmen more privileges than we ever had. We, the class of ’58 leave the grades a box of Kleenex to help them face future shocks. To Mr. Trudeau we leave a bigger car so he won’t have to make so many trips to move. To Mrs. Pratt we leave an air conditioned To Mrs. Hughes we leave an extra pad of passes. To Mrs. Rathbun we leave an extra cigarette break. To Mr. Mayer we leave a PRIVATE office. To Miss Dolan we leave extra candles for her carafe. To Mr. Morse we leave a conference room. To Rosalie we leave some music lessons. To Miss Bintz we leave a memo pad so she won’t be last with her reports. To Mrs. Fuller we leave a more attentive and interested Senior English class. To Mr. Christie we leave a New York State Driver’s manual. To Miss Noble we leave a library to go along with her book collection. To Miss McGill we leave a ’59 Studebaker full of thanks. To Mrs. Edwards we leave 20 cent gold diaper pins. To Mr. Smeltzer we leave a lighter schedule so he can have a few moments to himself. To Mr. Huiatt we leave a private road to Col- ton so the traffic won’t slow him up. To Mrs. Holmes we leave a package of pens so her students will always be equipped. To the grade teachers we leave lots of patience for the up and coming teenagers. To Ernie and Ed we leave walkie-talkies so they can keep track of each others. To Mr. Smith we leave a hand warmer that won’t blister. To the Cafeteria women we leave a column of their own in the Tribune-Press. To Miss Carter we leave some handsome bachelors. To Mr. Adams we leave a home in Edwards. To Miss Howe we leave an IBM computer to determine “the right guy”. To Carl Hurley we leave an automatic clip- per so he’ll be in time for the afternoon run. To Dick Brown we leave a cowbell to let him know quitting time. To Charlie Brown another part-time job. room.

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