Edison Middle School - Wizard Yearbook (Los Angeles, CA)

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Fifiy-four Mofherzg BiIIy's downsrairs -smoking your cigar. He sayshe won'Ir slop unfil you lay off his eleciric Irains. I , ' , Miss Gray: So you really have a new baby brolher. Wha'I's his name? Barbara Riggio: Don r know, mum, don'I' imow.. Can I' ursdersland a rhino he says. E-goodwill Worker: Would you give 'len cenis Io help 'Ihe Old Ladiesl Home? Mr. Richardson: Whafl 'Are Ihey oul' again? I Cuslomerz Oh, Irhere is anofher one of ihose' hideous porfrairs you call works of arf. Dealer: Oh, no, madam, 'I'I1a'I's as mirror. Telegram io friend: Washouf on line. Cane nor come. O .- ' Reply: Come anyway. Borrowa shirt ' ' Abie: Vill you please explain ro me fhe dif- ference belween shillingsand pence? e r Ikey:,You can Valk down .de sireel vidoufi shilling. I ' . I Upongseeing grapeiruii' for 'fhe firsi' lime an Irishman saidi Thimfs pre'I I'y big' orangesg, . and H- wouIdn'+ rake many of fhimfio make, adozen. so y V Judge: Q? Give ihe courf your name, occu- pa+ion, and srare fhe charge againsr you. Defendanhl My name is Sparks. I am an elecirician, and I am charged wiI'h ba'I'- iery.'f V' - Judge: Officer, place fhis man in a dry cell. 5 - Mr. Dryden: Can any one fell me whal' causes frees Ifo-become pefrified? Chariofre Pynoos: The wind makes ihem rock. r Found: Roll of five-dollar bills. Will 'Ihe owner please form a line af 'I'he norlh en- 'Irance ioimain building? A e . Whai did your wife say fogyou when you came home Iaie Ias'r nighI'? ' H . i She didn'+ say anyfhing., And I was going fo have 'Ihose Iwo +eeI'h pulled our anyhow. Mrs. Wright, .Have you, had any siage experience? . Edward Nobbe: Well, I had my leg' in a casi. f r .W I ' ,. B7 Ho Miss Mafhislz Please, Miss Marhis I wan+ some books by Auihor Unknown. There was a piece by him in our reader, and i liked ii. I g s 4 t g I

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Mrs. Eklundz How would you puncfuale rhis senlence? L ' - The wind blew a len-dollar bill around 'lhe corner. ' . Dave MacLeod: I would make a dash affer Ihe bill. ' HeIpI HeIpI cried an Ifalian laborer near +he mud fIaI's. Queek! bringa da shool Giovanni, he sruck in Ihe mud. 5' ' - How far in? ' Up Io his knees. V VVeII, Iel him walk ouI'. He no canna walk! He wronga enda up. A prospeclive cus+omer was looking over fhe shrubs a+ 'lhe nursery. ' 1 Is +ha+ laurel? he asked, poinling fo a glossy-Ieafed bush. Yes, sir, replied 'Ihe nurseryman, and i+'s hardy, loo. 3 I Mr. Neenan: Whaf is fhe mosi' famous piece of wood in Ihe world? Johnnie Hogan: Charlie McCarI'hy, I guess. ' P I She: .Have you pu'I' fhe cal ouI', darling? Darling Isleepilylz I didn'1' even knows he was on lire. L . i Mrs. Eklundz Whai' happened in lhe year I809? I Edward Nobbe: Lincoln was born. Mrs. Eklundz Correct Now, whal' hap- Dened in I8I2? Edward Nobbe: Lincoln had his Ihird birfhday. , Billy, do you know whal happens Io IiH'Ie boys who 'fell lies? ' Sure, 'Ihey ride 'For half-fare. Bill Ball: ' You see all fhe girls smile al me. ' Wayne Smifh: 'I'ha+'s nolhing, I laughed 'Phe lirsl lime I saw you. 4 I ' , Claire Wes? Igiving moiher reporl cardI: I'm like Washingion, Lincoln and Jefferson. Molherz Why, Claire? Claire: I wenl' down in hislory. i AI a picnic, IiH'Ie sisier goi' her 'firsl hoi' dog. When she saw if she said: Chg Mama, I iusl go+ 'rhe fail. . ' Mrs. Hopkins! Who can give me 'lhe delinilion of fhe word waffle? ' Lily BenneH': A waffle is a pancake wi'I'h a non-skid head. . C Name fwo pronouns. Who. me? g . I y Fifiy-fhree .

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lsn'+ if wonderful rhe lhings 'lhal' can be made from beef bones-piano keys, dice, feelh, knife and fork handles, and so on! Yes, and my landlady fhinks fhey make soup, ioo. Miss Neal lafier crashl: l gave 'fhe proper sign for fhe direclion in which l was furning. Mr. Clifford: l know il: +ha+'s whaf 'fooled me. Office Manager Hoi A9 graduarel: Has fhe srenographer 'fold you whaf lo do in lhe aflernoon? A9 Gradualez Yes, sir: l was lo wake her when l saw you coming. B7 Boy: Mr. Neenan, why are all lhose holes in 'lhe board? , Mr. Neenani: Those are knoi holes. B7 Boy laffer awhilel: Well, if 'lhey are noi' holes, whai' are lhey? g I LiHle Boy: Say, Misrer, le+ me have six of fhose diapers. . Clerk: Here you are, son, Thal'll be nineiy cenrs for The diapers and rhree cenls for fhe lax. , I LiHle,Boy:'We don'+ wan? no fax. Me Brudder uses safely pins. Mr. Hanson: Whal inseci' requires fhe leasl' nourishmenf? Bobby Schulke: The mofhg he ea'l's holes. Examiner llc applicanl' for a driver's licensel: And whal' is 'lhe line in fhe middle of fhe roacl for? -. Applicanl: For bicycle riders. Mr. Neher: How did you like Venice? Miss Agee: l only sfayed a few days. li' was flooded. Hos+ess: Did l'ha'l rude husband of mine ask you noi lo play? Musical Guest Oh, no, Mrs. Jones, he only asked me noi' +o play a cerfain fune. Hosfess: Whal was ii' he said? y T Musical Guesf: He said don l' play For Pe+e's Sake. - B7: l wanf 'ro see some of lhose picrures lhal' are done by scrafching... ' Miss Bock: Oh, yes, you mean irchings. Teacher: Johnnie, wharsis 'rhe meaning of 'lhe word quaran+ine? T V Johnnie: Quaran'l'ine is a slip of aper saying fhal your waichwill keep -goodaiime for 'len years. i Fiify-five