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Page 59 text:
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Mrs. Eklundz How would you puncfuale rhis senlence? L ' - The wind blew a len-dollar bill around 'lhe corner. ' . Dave MacLeod: I would make a dash affer Ihe bill. ' HeIpI HeIpI cried an Ifalian laborer near +he mud fIaI's. Queek! bringa da shool Giovanni, he sruck in Ihe mud. 5' ' - How far in? ' Up Io his knees. V VVeII, Iel him walk ouI'. He no canna walk! He wronga enda up. A prospeclive cus+omer was looking over fhe shrubs a+ 'lhe nursery. ' 1 Is +ha+ laurel? he asked, poinling fo a glossy-Ieafed bush. Yes, sir, replied 'Ihe nurseryman, and i+'s hardy, loo. 3 I Mr. Neenan: Whaf is fhe mosi' famous piece of wood in Ihe world? Johnnie Hogan: Charlie McCarI'hy, I guess. ' P I She: .Have you pu'I' fhe cal ouI', darling? Darling Isleepilylz I didn'1' even knows he was on lire. L . i Mrs. Eklundz Whai' happened in lhe year I809? I Edward Nobbe: Lincoln was born. Mrs. Eklundz Correct Now, whal' hap- Dened in I8I2? Edward Nobbe: Lincoln had his Ihird birfhday. , Billy, do you know whal happens Io IiH'Ie boys who 'fell lies? ' Sure, 'Ihey ride 'For half-fare. Bill Ball: ' You see all fhe girls smile al me. ' Wayne Smifh: 'I'ha+'s nolhing, I laughed 'Phe lirsl lime I saw you. 4 I ' , Claire Wes? Igiving moiher reporl cardI: I'm like Washingion, Lincoln and Jefferson. Molherz Why, Claire? Claire: I wenl' down in hislory. i AI a picnic, IiH'Ie sisier goi' her 'firsl hoi' dog. When she saw if she said: Chg Mama, I iusl go+ 'rhe fail. . ' Mrs. Hopkins! Who can give me 'lhe delinilion of fhe word waffle? ' Lily BenneH': A waffle is a pancake wi'I'h a non-skid head. . C Name fwo pronouns. Who. me? g . I y Fifiy-fhree .
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Page 60 text:
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Fifiy-four Mofherzg BiIIy's downsrairs -smoking your cigar. He sayshe won'Ir slop unfil you lay off his eleciric Irains. I , ' , Miss Gray: So you really have a new baby brolher. Wha'I's his name? Barbara Riggio: Don r know, mum, don'I' imow.. Can I' ursdersland a rhino he says. E-goodwill Worker: Would you give 'len cenis Io help 'Ihe Old Ladiesl Home? Mr. Richardson: Whafl 'Are Ihey oul' again? I Cuslomerz Oh, Irhere is anofher one of ihose' hideous porfrairs you call works of arf. Dealer: Oh, no, madam, 'I'I1a'I's as mirror. Telegram io friend: Washouf on line. Cane nor come. O .- ' Reply: Come anyway. Borrowa shirt ' ' Abie: Vill you please explain ro me fhe dif- ference belween shillingsand pence? e r Ikey:,You can Valk down .de sireel vidoufi shilling. I ' . I Upongseeing grapeiruii' for 'fhe firsi' lime an Irishman saidi Thimfs pre'I I'y big' orangesg, . and H- wouIdn'+ rake many of fhimfio make, adozen. so y V Judge: Q? Give ihe courf your name, occu- pa+ion, and srare fhe charge againsr you. Defendanhl My name is Sparks. I am an elecirician, and I am charged wiI'h ba'I'- iery.'f V' - Judge: Officer, place fhis man in a dry cell. 5 - Mr. Dryden: Can any one fell me whal' causes frees Ifo-become pefrified? Chariofre Pynoos: The wind makes ihem rock. r Found: Roll of five-dollar bills. Will 'Ihe owner please form a line af 'I'he norlh en- 'Irance ioimain building? A e . Whai did your wife say fogyou when you came home Iaie Ias'r nighI'? ' H . i She didn'+ say anyfhing., And I was going fo have 'Ihose Iwo +eeI'h pulled our anyhow. Mrs. Wright, .Have you, had any siage experience? . Edward Nobbe: Well, I had my leg' in a casi. f r .W I ' ,. B7 Ho Miss Mafhislz Please, Miss Marhis I wan+ some books by Auihor Unknown. There was a piece by him in our reader, and i liked ii. I g s 4 t g I
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